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Am I a Feminist?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by gauridinesh, Jul 21, 2015.

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  1. Jul 22, 2015 #31
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    @Jameela - Thanks for your feedback.

    @sm123 - Thanks. Most of the time I am like you, I dont voice my opinion too much immediately. Only when I cannot resist- I do.

    @sing - Thanks for replying. I am not a very vehement person, i am generally laid back and know when to "be a sport". Maybe my writing style comes across as aggressive (or maybe all this suppressed anger comes out when I write :) ). But yeah, I will be more careful before voicing out things and watch my tone. Thanks again.
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 22, 2015
    gauridinesh, Jul 22, 2015
    #31
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  2. Jul 22, 2015 #32
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    GD, nice thread, and some thoughtful responses got posted.

    Be careful with the being more careful. :) Don't change too much.

    Probably, the other guys tell their wives why can't they be more like you. Or think so in their mind. :)
     
    Rihana, Jul 22, 2015
    Rihana, Jul 22, 2015
    #32
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  3. Jul 22, 2015 #33
    VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Gauri.. It happens with me too. When there are a group of men...they expect the women to agree to their views and if it is different than theirs, we are 'labelled'.. as a feminist...aggressive and what not. Also advises start pouring in...voice it subtly..change the tone..and what not. Just wondering whether the same is told to men too ?

    Your DH is not a MC...probably he doesn't want anyone to talk ill of you and is trying to be protective ???? :)
     
    VanithaSudhir, Jul 22, 2015
    VanithaSudhir, Jul 22, 2015
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  4. Jul 23, 2015 #34
    paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    duplicate one
     
    paramlav, Jul 23, 2015
    paramlav, Jul 23, 2015
    #34
  5. Jul 23, 2015 #35
    paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    Apologies if I had hurt you. .I can understand what you are undergoing. . I don't mean you were wrong and am sure for it. my intention is if you back down, maybe your dh may get satisfied . my brother is also same like your dh, when my sil ignored ,their relationship sailed smoothly. so I thought may be it works for you too. stepping down for something cost nothing bcoz your relationship is more important.
     
    paramlav, Jul 23, 2015
    paramlav, Jul 23, 2015
    #35
  6. Jul 23, 2015 #36
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Aah! Now THATs a good thought :) That made me smile! :) :)
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    #36
  7. Jul 23, 2015 #37
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    No No..you did not hurt me. What I meant was that I was hurt by my H's sudden realization after 10 years. I am pretty much back to my feet today . Yesterday is a gone day- a lesson learnt :)
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    #37
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  8. Jul 23, 2015 #38
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks VanithaSudhir. Yes, I think thats the case too. When all his anger came gushing out in the heat of the moment, it was like a thunderbolt hit me. I did not know so much was going on in his mind. Today he is back to normal, I am ALMOST back to normal. I definitely plan to talk to him about it when we are in a good mood in a non confrontational way.
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    gauridinesh, Jul 23, 2015
    #38
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  9. Jul 23, 2015 #39
    sing

    sing Silver IL'ite

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    Well said, you are gonna be more careful only when deep down there's a sense of worry, if you are really liberated, you take life as it comes and be honest about what you want, retaining a sense of identity that gets dissolved loving yourself, perhaps your husband can do more here bie1

     
    sing, Jul 23, 2015
    sing, Jul 23, 2015
    #39
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  10. Jul 23, 2015 #40
    sing

    sing Silver IL'ite

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    Depends on "how you say" again. The same phrase gives a total different feel depends on the manner it is said. Unfortunately I can't give an example of it in writing. The little girl in your head talking to you speaks a bit louder and that blurts out.

    Take my point seriously. We subconsciously are better at catching the true intentions based on the very same thing.

    Only when you are being defensive, you breath harder and say things vehemently, you can't deny my dear. You are caught red handed :boo:. I guess that's what men quote often as being a feminist. The definition in people's mind is different from what we perceive.

     
    sing, Jul 23, 2015
    sing, Jul 23, 2015
    #40
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