when I got married,I remember my uncle who came up to me and told me "Please be carefulYour mil is very possessive of her son".I was like"No,no..she is perfect and so sweet".that was how I knew her.My uncle did . not say anything and walked away.. After marriage,I was very scared of my inlaws..They have a very sharp tongue which could rip you to pieces.For some reason,they look upon me low.My fil if he gets angry over something will yell at me.My mil prays god 24/7 but she feels it's ok to comment on my looks,complexion,height,education from time to time.I have learnt music and sing quite well but according to her I am not good.She will always make my co sisters who are very good at singing and announce that they will sing and not include me.She herself has learnt some music and if someone for pooja asks me to sing,she will butt in and sing first without even being asked! Imagine how irritating it will be.. Even today after so many years she is like"I always wanted to get my son married to someone who is a professional like an MBA or engineering..anyways". ' fil will allow his wife to make any comments against me but If I raise my voice as retaliation,he will yell at mil and ask her to keep quiet but infact he is shutting me up.Nothing happens before my husband. she will insult someone in the sweetest way possible.she is very happy if she is given gifts,taken on vacations but she does not like it if I go for vacation,wear clothes which is mordern (she feels many Indian girls come to America and dress up as though they have never seen clothes in their life),or go to movies with my husband. If she is made to cook once a day here in America coz when my kid was younger,I needed little help..she comments"always one person will cook..everyone else will sit and sit and eat"I really did not feel like eating her cooking after that.. If I fall sick,they think I am lying and get agitated..so many things have happened and am so glad I am in America and not in India with them for this very reason.. She has come here for a vacation and is being nice..well people are getting older and she wants our help now..I am so mad and I just could not let go of the past.So many arguments have happened coz of her and how can I let go and consider her old age and be nice? I honestly do not feel like living with her together in her old age.I feel bad that I am being evil and infact stopped praying to god coz I feel guilty BUT I just cannot live together. Instead,I told my husband that I will live seperately with my kids and she can be with her son and enjoy the home and vacations /money.For me,I do not need all that.just peace of mind.That's the only thing I can do.. How to get over this guilt..