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Am I a bad mom?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by tuffyshri, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi tuffy,

    The word " bad mom" caught my attention in the side bar..:)) and firstly let me tell you that there is no such thing as a bad mom. Every mom wants only the very best for her child .only thing is "what is best" is a very relative question and may differ from one mom to another. :)

    I have read some of your blogs and you have always struck me as a fun person. why do you say it is difficult for people to like you ?

    You have just come out with things that bother you about your girl and I have nothing much to say since Shan has said it all. Confidence and self esteem are the most important gifts that you can give your child, tuffy. Once the child feels appreciated at home happiness follows and only then the rest.

    And puhlease… she is only five.. just let her be.. talk and talk and talk to her..yes you may be busy once you come home but she can always sit near you and do her stuff .do make dinner a family affair and tuck her into bed. Those are the times they really talk to you..

    Wishing you many happy times with your little princess. :cheers
     
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Tuffy, yout dd is still in a age where she will make acquaintances who become the best and the bestest friends for a few weeks, and then suddenly they become bad..it is a enjoyable phase. just enjoy it along with your child and don't give too much importance about not having friends or things....but as she grows up, you can teach her that it is ok not to have loads of friends but a few friends who stand by you come what may..

    the same holds good for you..having many friends does not mean you are too good or not having one does not mean you are bad...it is just that you have not got that person with whom you can be just YOU. from your blogs,what i feel is you maybe happy with your husband as your best friend.

    socializing and friendship are two different concepts..you need not be close friends with everybody you socialize..and you don't need to socialize with your best friends..take your time to decipher it.

    I am an introvert, people assume i am headstrong,or arrogant..but i am not so..that is seen only if you come into touch with me..nobody reading my replies here can believe i am a very choosy, introvert..so each one of us is different..if all of us were same, there would not be anything different about us..and we would all be like robots :rotfl

    my daughter is 16 and has very few close friends..she is choosy too.. they learn as they grow..sometimes, they need to make mistakes and learn along and we should just be THERE and our children should know we are THERE standing in reachable distance if they need us..

    it takes time to come to this understanding..i am not a perfect mom.i have had my meltdowns, crying episodes..there were days when my son used to say my mom is the spire spitting dragon..there are days when i say i am the hitler mom..but at the end of the day everything is perfect if your child knows you love her. it is more important to make her know that you love her than you actually loving her.. both are again different.

    well let me stop..you already have a lot of things to chew on..

    go home, just hug your daughter and thank god for such a sweet blessing..:thumbsup
     
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  3. tuffyshri

    tuffyshri Gold IL'ite

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    pls dont be sorry. thanks, will definitely look at the postive side
     
  4. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    Others especially[FONT=&quot][/FONT] Shanvy has given you excellent advice so I don't want to add anything extra.

    Only thing I wanted to say is that whatever the reason; please don't ever yell and beat a 5 year old child.
     
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  5. Paranik

    Paranik New IL'ite

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    hi just dont loose hope... we teach lots of things to our kids ,but they teaches only patience...i was on your same boat,and still some time iam... yelling will be our temprorary solution... if u really want a solution...just have some patience...this is what my mom said to me...which iam trying to follow
     
  6. Karthiga

    Karthiga Bronze IL'ite

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    hai tuffy,
    good sharing yaar.. I think now u'll be much more convinced that u are NOT a bad mom. coz after reading this whole thread, i came to the conclusion that i'm not a bad mom and found ways to bring my son from his lonliness and shy feel . I'm really learning patience, only from my kid and trying to make him and myself happy amdist all my worries.
    thanks tuffy and thanks friends for all ur valuable replies....
     
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  7. tuffyshri

    tuffyshri Gold IL'ite

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    thank you everyone for the FB. Yes I will take the positive notes and try to incorporate them. Shanvy, I already was a fan of yours, now it has increased :)
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh, tuffy now you are embarassing me. I am sure chinnu will turn out to be a great lady..

    on that note, i remember something. my daughter was i think 6 years..and there was this debate in dd bharathi/ndtv on wearing short skirts..and there was this girl who told that it is ok to wear short skirts as long as you are behaving ladylike while wearing them. DD did not understand the meaning of that, then..she is tall and at 8 we wanted her to wear a little longer skirt then the shorts-skirt models..and she retorted back, no problem mom, i have understood what ladylike behavior means..she is growing up fast, and i am left with these sweet memories that bring a smile or a laugh suddenly..

    this share is to tell you, time flies too fast these days, and your girl will grow up and you will miss all the gibberish, girly talks..so enjoy the phase, don't worry too much of mess, and discipline..discipline introduced as a part of learning remains with them for life, rather than as a fear...

    have a great year ahead...
     
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  9. croco

    croco New IL'ite

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    Thanks Shanvy!
     

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