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Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for baby?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by gayu031287, Apr 13, 2014.

  1. gayu031287

    gayu031287 Senior IL'ite

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    Hiii ladies,

    I wanted two ask two main questions and suggestions for the same to you.

    1. I got placed just recently last month in a very reputed IT firm. Bt since I got married in July 2012 my in laws have started expecting a baby but I am not ready now as my CAREER has started just now and I would not be able to take responsiblity of baby as well as job in early stage of my career. How to convince my in laws about the same? I talked to my husband and he is understanding and supports me.

    2. I am a fresher in IT industry and wanted to ask any lady working(specially in IT) thats is it really very difficult to manage both your family and work pressure?And is it okay if I get pregnant in the early stage of my career also? I already feel very very complex as I am the eldest candidate in my batch and I am 1987 born but all my batchmates are 1991 born. So is it easy to manage both career and family wel?
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    You are young, so that is a plus. Get a consultation with an ob-gyn to make sure everything is OK health wise, to see if you can wait for for kids.
    The decision about when to have a baby should be between you and your husband. If your in-laws keep harping on this, just nod your head and ignore. Or direct them to your DH.
     
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  3. anuram09

    anuram09 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    Complete 2 years and start planning family if you are very young. Having 2 solid appraisal cycles will be good for your safe career. Yes handling family and kid is going to be tough whenever it happens. Regarding in laws just don't mind them. You know which is best for you.
     
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  4. gayu031287

    gayu031287 Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    Thanks for the suggestion guys. I am 26 years old. So I dn't know if delaying pregnancy will lead to any problem.. I went to geanochologist 5 months ago that I time I had irregular periods and was detected with Polycystic ovaries and Hypothyroid but when she told me o reduce weight I reduced a lot and now I am having regular periods and also normal thyroid levels... Do u think delayign my pregnancy will lead to any problem?
     
  5. JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    IMO,you can concentrate on your job for 1 year and then start planning for kid by 27 years.Also even if you become pregnant,you can schedule your doc appointments over the weekend and after delivery you will get 6 months of maternity leave,after that you can have someone to look after your kid and resume your career if you wish to.ofcourse you will be a little lagging behind when compared to your peers but thats fine,you can catch up on career at any time.
     
  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    I worked in IT too. I got pregnant two years after I started work. After the baby, I decided to quit and stay home for a while because I couldn't manage my intense workload and be there for the baby. I had only 6 weeks of maternity leave. I went back to work after she turned three. This was in the US though. I worked in India while pregnant with my second child. My employers were much more understanding. I worked from home since I was on bed rest mostly. I also got a year off after the baby, of which three months were paid. I would have gone back to work but moved country again.

    Regarding balancing work work and career after kids some moms decide that career can take a back seat. You'll progress slower than your colleagues but will have more family time. Some others are able to manage just fine with help from parents. In general, I felt India was better because of the hired help and family presence.

    Hth,
    L
     
  7. anuram09

    anuram09 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    I was 26 during marriage. Not for career but for other reasons we decided to delay the family process for 2 years. But those whole 2years I was on complete medication for pcod. This helped me in conceiving soon when we wanted. Be career oriented, but don't take stress which have direct impact on this hormonal imbalance.
     
  8. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    This is THE TIME to concentrate on career. I wonder why men won't think the same? ..like..plan for a baby and take some lighter project.
    I am working in IT, have a kid who is 1+ years old, worked during pregnancy and took a break of 5 months after child birth(out of which 3 months was paid maternity leave).
    I have my MIL to take care of baby and hence I could resume work, but I started thinking about kids only after working for a couple of years and having some stuff to go into resume\CV.
    I hear many of my friends taking a break after baby and resuming once they go to school(but not in IT). Each case is different. I can't resume work after a long break as I am lazy and hence stuck to the routine.
    Down the lane when you feel stressed or lonely because of not having job then NO-ONE would console you(unless you have supportive MIL and husband). You will be on your own.
    Understand the people around you and your health and take a leap.

    All the best.
     
  9. gayu031287

    gayu031287 Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    Thank you ladies for all ur suggestions.. Based on ur suggestions I have thought of working for one year and then plan for a baby.. After which I can take maternity leave.. My mother in law sister in law and fathe rin law are there to take care of the baby.. May be in later stage if me and my husband plan to go on site then I dn't know how the situationwould be.

    Really thanks all for ur suggestions.. :)
     
  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Almost 2 years of marriage but career started just now.In laws expectation for ba

    Hello,

    only you and your husband need to agree when to have a baby. You or your husband need to subtly let your ILs know that you will plan for a baby in a couple of years. As far as career goes, from recruiting experience I would say that you need to have spent at least 2 years on good projects within the same organisation. So, take your time as long as your gynec clears it.

    It is important for parents to be in a happy place to receive a baby without wishing if only the baby had come a little later I would have done this or that.

    Good luck!
     
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