Allowed EGO for an individual!

srinivasan_vanaja · Jan 17, 2008

Hello Ilites,

A basic ego is attached to each and every individual which we find very difficult to shed away against our own house inmates, friends, relatives and colleagues.

For an example, this morning I had been to a book shop to purchase few pooja books in Hindi language. Basically the shop contains books written mostly in Tamil and few in Hindi, Sanskrit and English.

I was going through the contents of the books. A person who visited the shop was enquiring for a Hindi Dictionary and few other books in Hindi. The helper was unable to clear her doubts since he does not know the language.

Though I knew the whereabouts of the books, I remained silent since the other person saw me going through the books in Hindi language. I wanted to help the person and direct her to the right shop. But my little ego made me wait for the person to approach me. Her face clearly showed that she was expecting me to help her out. But there again her ego did not let her to approach me. Moreover she was talking loudly, so that, I could hear her needs. At last she made a comment that without knowing the language and the availability why do they sell books.

I pitied the helper and threw my ego, volunteered and cleared her doubts. In this case, my EGO is allowable. A simple psychological definition of this allowable ego is something like the "self-organizing principle".

This ego as self-organizing principle is neither positive nor negative; its function is mechanistic, and in that, it has no self nature.

But there is another definition of ego, and the ego in that definition has self nature. The human face of that ego is pride; is arrogant self-importance; self-infatuation; is the need to see oneself as being separate at all times, in all places, through all circumstances—and that ego is the unrelenting enemy of all that is truly wholesome in the human experience.

Can we share our allowable ego and the connected incidents which is selfless, so that, we can get a clarity to get rid of the bad ego to some extent?

kanaka · Jan 18, 2008

Dear Vanaja,
This is a very regular feature. We are scared of the reaction from the other person. Suppose the person is rude. Also there is a possibility that the person may be proactive, the way you did later, though with a bit hesistation.
I think more than ego it is the society's insensitiveness. The term insensitive has no bearing in relation to your incident. Don't mistake me.
Iam always outspoken. I believe being frank Iand true to my conscience and I don't betray the person with sweet words. Then on many occasions I have experienced people keeping quiet. They are ready to admit privately or wait for somebody to agree.
We lack the strength to say things which we consider is true.
What you have faced is only an another dimension of some of our ways. kanaka

srinivasan_vanaja · Jan 18, 2008

hi kanaka,

though the other person was talking loudly, she wasn't rude in her voice. may be speaking loud is her nature. even when she was commenting on the helper, she wasn't rude.

now in this incident, i am not describing the nature of that person, but my little ego which did not allow me to approach her at the beginning. i wanted that person to approach me first.

this ego of mine is not harmful. since we do not know each other and since she did not approach me, it is not going to affect both of us.

the person was watching me going through the books in Hindi, i felt she could have asked me at first. she seems to be bold in nature too.

so i felt, this little ego of mine is allowable in this subject.

likewise, we would have come across many such incidents in our lives with our inmates of house, friends, relatives and colleagues.