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All is well ! DH back !!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by flowerlady, May 2, 2010.

  1. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Many a times we get to hear about postmarital affairs where the unrepentent DH came back to his wife because-
    1 The other woman left for greener pastures .
    2 The affair was discovered.
    3 Both the guillty parties got over each other.
    4 Both were married , had kids .They were using each other for timepass and had no intentions of divorcing the innocent spouses .
    Generally the poor DW feels guilty that maybe she made him stray (?) She goes over and over each episode where she had made him unhappy and sent him into the arms of the other woman !
    Has she aged in the last 5 /10 years ? Of course she has . All the creams and lotions cannot turn a mom of a teenager into a nubile nymphet.Did she displease the ILs ? Put too much salt in the curry ?:bonk
    This type of introspection goes on and on making the guilty DH into an innocent underage soul who had to do what did !
    Men (who else ?) have written books on the topic which give insights as to where the poor lady fell short and hence pushed him into EMA.
    In the entire situation the wife feels insecure , what if he does it again ?? (Of course he would , a leopard cannot change its spots !)

    My take is why not put the blame on the guilty shoulders of the DH ? Is he a mindless person who cannot see that he is wrecking his family life ? He is just a selfish guy out to have a good time with any willing female ,looks, age ,education no bar.Why not accept the fact that the man is a weak degenerate who has no self control ?

    If he is so besotted then why not divorce and marry the woman ?
    Why come back and expect to be treated like a king by the grateful wife ?And also complain that things are not the same !
    Maybe its because DH is happy with a foolish , loyal wife who will anyhow take him back after his wanderings .Why not have his cake and eat it too !
    Is it because he knows that everything will be swept under the carpet and all will be well ?
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2010
  2. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Flowerlady , So it is you the bravo who tied the bell.I am sure is something which boils within everyone but could not put it in a proper way.

    To me life seem to be all bed of roses as of now but I always know that anytime down the line this can happen.

    This is something the wife was made to believe by the selfish , immoral husband and in-laws.Even if the wife has done something wrong , where did his morale go?Why should he choose another woman?When the men say they are the stronger sex why can't they stay alone STRONG.And on top of all this there is one sect who says MEN ARE WIRED THIS WAY.HUH..:rant


    Well said.And I would like to add one more thing.Pregnancy.It is a natural process and it brings out some(Major!) changes in women's body.Again here the men say that my wife does not look great any more.

    I had the same questions.Let us see what our other ILs have to say.My answer would be probably our society is made in a way that it is easier for men in the society to get married than the women.And women prev were not independent and had to always be at their mercy saying "Natha ..En mel pizhai irunthaal mannithu vidungal.Ini ungalukku piditha maathiri tharai vizhuthe pani purigiren":rant:biglaugh(meaning - lord,I will change myself and do whatever you want)...

    You have said it,FL!
     
  3. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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    I think people are not replying because they are not sure what to say :). I am not replying because I will really make this as a general discussion, and move far from EMA. To me this stems right from the fact that only a woman is called a prostitute, and no name is given to the man who makes her that. I would delve only into such aspects, and not be able to speak from a wife's PoV. I will report this thread, and seek mod action on it.

    Arch
     
  4. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Archana , I wrote the thread because cheating DHs give so much pain to their families and the world generally makes the wife believe thats it her fault ! Personally I feel that its the DHs weak, flirty nature which makes him go for EMAs and not the wife. The man is responsible for his affairs !!!
    Let people not write , if it makes them think its fine by me !
     
  5. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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    Flowerlady,

    Whats your take on the "women/wife" involved in a EMA?

    Arch
     
  6. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Archana,
    Thanks to you and your concern this thread is getting oxygen everyday ! If you read the other posts here you will find many which could have been in other forums too .

    Why not start a thread on other woman/ women in EMAs if you are interested ?
    I have no axe to grind with other women in EMAs , they are as promiscuous as the DH involved and equally to blame.
    A wife is not held responsible for the activities of all astray womenfolk but only her wandering DH !
     
  7. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Not wrong at all, as long as it is relevant to the topic of the thread, here EMA. Else, start a new thread for the same.

    Btw, there are already some hey howdy discussion threads in IL. A simple search will give you the list.

    -Lakshmi

     
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  8. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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    And no, I am not interested to knowing about the women in a EMA, because it has been a long time that we stopped talking on the women involved in a relationship. My question to you, was in no demeaning manner to side line the woman, or to talk against her. I only wanted to know how she is being looked at.


    Cheers
    Arch
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2010
  9. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry no man made her sell her body for money. It's your body and only you control it, yeah? Ofcourse there are cases of women/girls being tortured into this business, but that's not the entire bunch.
     
  10. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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    Nandhu,

    It is my body, and I can control it. But, thats just me. Not the case with most prostitutes. A man makes a prostitute. She is no longer called that, when a man stops visiting her.

    Even if a woman becomes a prostitute by choice, there is no term to name the straying man. At situations, when he has a wife and still goes to a prostitute, what is he called? Is there a term for him, in any language?

    Also, most importantly - even a prostitute, most times in places like India does not have control over her body. She is not protected, or governed. So, if a man takes her to a room, and burns her with cigarette butts or whips her - there is simply no control she can exercise.

    Arch
     

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