All Conversations Are Overheard . How To Live Like This?

@mimita,

Generally, the possessive nature of mothers who have only one child is excessive. They are always competiting with the wife of her only son. She has a fear that someday, she would become irrelevant and that insecurity is probably killing her. She is thinking everyone of your conversation is about her.

I am not sure where your husband is on this subject of your suffocating lack of privacy. Did you discuss this with him? In my view, you should have a frank talk with him to discuss the following:

1) Please ask him to discuss with his mother that you have no desire to separate the son and mother and your only interest is to have some privacy in your own home.
2) Please ask him to suggest that his mother should develop simple hobbies like stiching or knitting something so that her mind will be occupied inside her room.
3) You need to tell him that the lack of privacy is actually overwhelming to you and you can't manage it any more and something has to be done by him.
4) After his discussion with her, you can try to normalize her relationship with her and engage her in some family matters that are not material in nature. She needs an assurance that her security is not under threat. Whatever it takes to give her that assurance is what is needed to be done.
5) If it is okay with you, try to assign some domestic work that would make her feel important in the family.
6) It is important your mental health is back to happy state and normal as soon as possible and even if it requires a break from your routine.

I wish you the very best.

Viswa

 

It looks your spouse is not keen to have privacy and this could be reason for his not taking any action with his mother. If mother in law is sick or mobility issues none can help change her behaviour. If the dwelling is small i.e. just a room and kitchen you can never get away from Mil's view. Think in terms of spacious living. 15 years is too long a time that you endured without trying methods suggested to you by other members in your posts of 2015.
While I empathize with your situation, you must draw courage to speak to MIL directly as to what you want . Lest carrying on with pent up feelings would affect your health. You must try the solutions of my philosopher friend @Viswamitra.

 

What is happening after she spies you? if is it just she is keen to know everything you just have to find peace with it. If she is passing on the family/personal details outside, then let her and the husband know that youre not fine with that and see if they respect you(to begin with)

 

@Tub
After long hiatus, Welcome to your re-entry into IL Orbit. Thanks for your thoughtful response and the likes elsewhere.

 

Thank you for noticing and acknowledging sir. It means much

 

You should confess and openly tell her to mind her business ..have a fight. My mil has done the same with me and couple of times my husband got irritated.