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Alcoholism and smoking ruining life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Devayani, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. drmchsraj

    drmchsraj New IL'ite

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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Good thought!! let us know how it worked....good luck:cheers
     
  3. Devayani

    Devayani New IL'ite

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  4. Devayani

    Devayani New IL'ite

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    Thanks Srividya for the wishes. I'd called up MIL y'day and conspired abt the same. :spinTho' I'm not quite sure abt the outcome, hope everything turns out well.
    Thanks for the support from all..
     
  5. brunocharles

    brunocharles New IL'ite

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    yes it is. your smell and the yellow teeth. your heart and liver were filled with smoke. If you are tired very quickly and you can not think properly before killing cigarette smoking kills you.
     
  6. canreachus

    canreachus Senior IL'ite

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    hi,

    firstly i would like tell you that no one can quit smoking unless he feels it from inside, my husband was a chain-smoker when we met 10-15 yrs back, gradually reduced it (3-4 per day) after hot arguments, but last years surprisingly came and told me that he quit it!!! (still he smokes once in a blue moon, when he become tence) we have had no discussion over his smoking in those days still it could quit because ''he'' felt it, decided it....so ur dh should realise by his own

    -try to concentrate on one problem at a time, drinking on priority basis then gradually on smoking
    -invite people on regular basis exactly at his drinking time, or do pooja but tell him in advance about it,
    -encourage him to start the activity-gym/badminton/swimming, and ensure that it goes in the eve, exactly at that time
    -ask him to reduce it by 1/2 or one peg on daliy basis
    -convience him to see doctor on regular basis

    i think, if you could do this once or twice, it would reduce his pegs

    I would suggest you to go to your IL as they are supportive,
    In future don't let your brain to take control of your emotions, try to make the statements which are benificial,
    take care and best luck
     
  7. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    OP,

    Sorry I can't relate to your situation much as my hubby doesn't smoke and he drinks may be a few drinks (hard liquor not counting wine/champagne occasionally) a year counting the new year.

    But if this were to happen to me and I am convinced that he drinks 4 to 5 pegs of hard liquor everyday and does not quit and all my persuasive efforts have gone kaput, I will probably tell him point blank that he is not going to be around for the kid's college graduations or weddings etc. and I am preparing for that future. I will start shaping my career and start to take over finances, full direction of kids' studies and strategies etc. and behave as if he is a guest as he is not making efforts to be around for us. I will make him see that I am preparing for the eventuality. I think when a man realizes what happens to his family when he is not there, he will most likely come around to really working hard on being there for the kids, wife and grand kids ...
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2010
  8. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Devayani,

    Your hubby's intake of five pegs of alcohol per day, is clearly beyond moderate levels of alcohol intake.

    Last week, I attended one of the meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in the city, where I am living. ( I am myself , not an alcoholic, I went there as an observer).

    There I see, hard core alcoholics of yesteryears, having given up alcohol. Their concept is like this :

    Alcholic believes another alcoholic. He does not listen to you and me. In Alcoholics Anonymous, they do not allow non alcoholics to speak. One can hear the experiences of how alcohol ravaged the lives of individuals form their own version, and also how they came out of it. They give mutual strength to each other in the process of controlling the temptation.

    Please learn where is Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting in your city and take your hubby there. They even allow the individual inside to sit and listen, if he is drunk. They may not allow you inside. But, you can make him attend the meeting, and see the change in him. He may not change in one meeting. Make him attend once every week. This meeting take place once every week.

    For every alcoholic there will be some desire inside to give up alcohol. First they start it as luxury. Then they take it as a necessity. I think,your man has reached this stage.

    Does he have at least some desire to stop it ? If so, please take him to Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
     
  9. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi sudha,

    You might already be knowing , what your hubby does it 'social drinking'. I think, according to what you have written, you must have no problems with his social drinking, right ?
     
  10. iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    What he does is not social drinking. Social drinking as a phrase has come to become a rationalization under which men and women justify all drinking except drinking alone. This is problematic. He does it only on special occasions and sometimes on business. Not a fan of hard liquor. Socially we sip a little bit of wine or champagne on occasion.
     

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