Ah, Those Seven Steps!!!!

HariLakhera · Dec 14, 2025

AH, THOSE SEVEN STEPS!

(Seven Steps, or Saptha Padhi, around a flame (honoring the fire god, Agni) spell out the promises the couple makes to each other:

1. Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.

2. Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental, and spiritual powers.

3. Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.

4. Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust.

5. Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous, and heroic children.

6. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.

7. Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners through this wedlock.

Do we really follow those steps?

Cheeniya · Dec 14, 2025

If so. how many of them?
I follow the first, after crossing 80!

Thyagarajan · Dec 14, 2025

Neither bride nor the groom hv time to get to understand the meanings when their mind is obsessed with many other sweet things to follow besides politics of extended family members and impending skirmishes.
These promises uttered in a language of which invariably both groom and bride are ignorant while they circumambulate around the flame and smoke as soon as it is uttered by purohit. Even if some hindu married men follow few of these promises it is by chance and not because it was uttered at the marriage.
But I do follow the the first one! ( like @Cheeniya Sir)

HariLakhera · Dec 15, 2025

Cheeniya said: ↑

If so. how many of them?
I follow the first, after crossing 80!
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Yes, so do I at 85 and the 7th, but not sure about the rest.

HariLakhera · Dec 15, 2025

Thyagarajan said: ↑

Neither bride nor the groom hv time to get to understand the meanings when their mind is obsessed with many other sweet things to follow besides politics of extended family members and impending skirmishes.
These promises uttered in a language of which invariably both groom and bride are ignorant while they circumambulate around the flame and smoke as soon as it is uttered by purohit. Even if some hindu married men follow few of these promises it is by chance and not because it was uttered at the marriage.
But I do follow the the first one! ( like @Cheeniya Sir)
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Fully agree. Ultimately, all these rituals are sacrificed at the altar of Compromise and Adjustment for one reason or another.

Thyagarajan · Dec 15, 2025

HariLakhera said: ↑

Fully agree. Ultimately, all these rituals are sacrificed at the altar of Compromise and Adjustment for one reason or another.
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Many marriages hindu or non hindu are more of convenience less of conventions and mechanical rituals. The most interesting part of marriage for the invitees is only food served on pointed banana leaves or the buffet around evening reception.

Once in the dusk, I accompanied a friend of mine from his home for a marriage reception of his distant cousin. He shoved in his broad chest pocket two colourful envelopes in a hurry and I assumed that the envelopes contain crisp currency note or notes and one for bride and the other for broom. He kick started his bike to life and reached venue by 8pm.
There was a long queue of invitees waiting with presents and gift packets large & small and some with envelopes gripped in their palm.
My friend decided that we go to buffet finish dinner and then join the queue heading to the couple on the dais where photo session with invitees on.
I saw my friend's face in a grimace in buffe hall as he could not enjoy the selected food items and I too could not relish the bland less delicious food.
Then my friend & me joined the queue that was not long and reached the couple. My friend picked up one of the envelopes and thrusted it into the hands of his cousin. After photo session, we were out of the reception area .
I was wondering, why he didn't hand the couple the other envelope.

Upon asking about it, my friend said - " the envelope in his pocket contains Rs1000 and the other contained only Rs200. Since buffet food was hopeless, I presented the envelop of Rs200."

I imagined saptharishis from heavens must have had a hearty laugh at this thoughtful action by my friend.

HariLakhera · Dec 16, 2025

Thyagarajan said: ↑

Many marriages hindu or non hindu are more of convenience less of conventions and mechanical rituals. The most interesting part of marriage for the invitees is only food served on pointed banana leaves or the buffet around evening reception.

Once in the dusk, I accompanied a friend of mine from his home for a marriage reception of his distant cousin. He shoved in his broad chest pocket two colourful envelopes in a hurry and I assumed that the envelopes contain crisp currency note or notes and one for bride and the other for broom. He kick started his bike to life and reached venue by 8pm.
There was a long queue of invitees waiting with presents and gift packets large & small and some with envelopes gripped in their palm.
My friend decided that we go to buffet finish dinner and then join the queue heading to the couple on the dais where photo session with invitees on.
I saw my friend's face in a grimace in buffe hall as he could not enjoy the selected food items and I too could not relish the bland less delicious food.
Then my friend & me joined the queue that was not long and reached the couple. My friend picked up one of the envelopes and thrusted it into the hands of his cousin. After photo session, we were out of the reception area .
I was wondering, why he didn't hand the couple the other envelope.

Upon asking about it, my friend said - " the envelope in his pocket contains Rs1000 and the other contained only Rs200. Since buffet food was hopeless, I presented the envelop of Rs200."

I imagined saptharishis from heavens must have had a hearty laugh at this thoughtful action by my friend.
Click to expand...

Liked your sense of humor, and for real at that. I had only one occasion of attending a Tamil marriage in Chennai, then Madras, and that was over 60 years ago. It lasted three days, and we had food every day. The best part is my friend who took me there (might) have handed over the envelope, maybe empty, who knows? He wanted me to introduce Tamil Marriage rituals.

Thyagarajan · Dec 16, 2025

HariLakhera said: ↑

handed over the envelope, maybe empty,
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During occasion of my late dad's sadhabhishekam, I happen to inspect an empty unsealed colourful window-envelope - a one rupee coin stuck by tape inside. Nothing else. I read the superscription on the envelope- "With best compliments from NEAR & DEAR". I think he did like the feast.

Rihana · Dec 16, 2025

The seven steps aren’t about perfect scores. Use them like guidelines, not rules. A life that follows them, even imperfectly, is far richer than one that ignores them. Like a diet, a little flexibility along the way doesn’t ruin the benefits.

HariLakhera · Dec 17, 2025

Thyagarajan said: ↑

During occasion of my late dad's sadhabhishekam, I happen to inspect an empty unsealed colourful window-envelope - a one rupee coin stuck by tape inside. Nothing else. I read the superscription on the envelope- "With best compliments from NEAR & DEAR". I think he did like the feast.
Click to expand...

Ha ha, I still have these envelopes, one rupee coin, trying to squeeze out. I think gift envelopes are still in vogue. In the north, some marriages last 5 days- ladies' sangeet, menhadi, haldi, 7steps with lunch/dinner, and finally reception at the bridegroom's place, all managed by Event Managers.