Age Gap To Call Someone Aunty / Uncle ??

ashneys · Apr 27, 2018

In India, We generally have the habit of calling almost anyone / everyone aunty n uncle. That's what we were taught as kids n that's what is taught to the kids of this generation as well. As that is what is considered respectful.

Recently one friend told me that she was stopped from calling someone aunty as she's 'only' 20 years older than her. My friend is in her early 30s.

Another friend said that her yoga class has ladies in their 60s but they get so angry n offended if she calls them aunty, she's in her mid 20s.

N I have heard this multiple times myself. I have been told several times to address 50/60 years old women / men strictly by their name as they will get offended if we address them as aunty / uncle.

I personally have no problem with that as I understand there's a mixed crowd at any events or anywhere these days. So though am still not super comfy calling a 50/60 yr old by their name, I just end up not addressing them at all but have general conversations right in front of them so I don't have to 'call' them by anything.

My question is this:
If people who are 30 years old can't call 40 / 50 / 60 year old men n women as aunty n uncle.

Then how can teenagers / college goers (n the kids of these people) can call people in their 20s / 30s as aunty n uncle ?

So it's ok for a 15 year old to call a 25/ 30 year old aunty / uncle ? But not for a 30 year old to call a 45 / 50 year old aunty / uncle ?

I find this topic funny, weird n confusing
N wonder how does this concept work

In the west, it just goes with Mr.X / Mrs. Z. But how does it work in India with the New age confusion?

Rosey2018 · Apr 27, 2018

We shouldn't call anyone Aunty. It's seen as quite rude in the west. It's better to call someone 'sister' or 'brother' regardless of how much older they are than you.

Some people use aunty and uncle to take the mick out of others/insult them. Even when the person is 5/10 years older than them. It's better not to call anyone aunty or uncle.

With teenagers it depends... on the relationship...but teens shouldnt call random strangers aunty or uncle. ' Excuse me' and other terms again depending on the relationship should suffice.

jskls · Apr 27, 2018

In West, after getting used to Mrs.X if being called Aunty feels a bit weird. Recently I too was offended with such remarks as for me to be called Aunty I don’t mind if my kids aged children call me Aunty but not any older ones. Indian mentality is if you are married you are an Aunty. Didn’t matter when young not anymore.

Sandycandy · Apr 27, 2018

This is one of my pet peeves ! We supposedly cannot respect a individual if we address them with just their first name , we either have to add a aunty/ uncle/ didi etc . I admit I do it purely out of compulsion.
Few exceptions : Ass-aram “Ba-poo” and Radhe “MAA “ sound interesting. So I will stick to that with zero respect for these individuals .
And I would happily and wholeheartedly call the rangeela , aviator knockoff sporting rickshaw driver “ uncle “ or “ bhaiya” the moment I park my pichwada in their colorful ,loud , Kumar Sanu ( Jhankar beat remix version, 90’s ! ) blaring rickshaws. Enough to stop them from doing nain mattaka through their rear view mirrors.

Needtobestrong · Apr 27, 2018

Sandycandy said: ↑

This is one of my pet peeves ! We supposedly cannot respect a individual if we address them with just their first name , we either have to add a aunty/ uncle/ didi etc . I admit I do it purely out of compulsion.
Few exceptions : Ass-aram “Ba-poo” and Radhe “MAA “ sound interesting. So I will stick to that with zero respect for these individuals .
And I would happily and wholeheartedly call the rangeela , aviator knockoff sporting rickshaw driver “ uncle “ or “ bhaiya” the moment I park my pichwada in their colorful ,loud , Kumar Sanu ( Jhankar beat remix version, 90’s ! ) blaring rickshaws. Enough to stop them from doing nain mattaka through their rear view mirrors.
Click to expand...

BhumiBabe · Apr 27, 2018

The problem continues in the West with Desi populations, of course. My mother has friends who are closer to my age 8-10 years older than me), and I hate calling them aunty just because of that. I go for 'akka' (big sister) in most situations. If a woman is my mother's age or above, I think Aunty is appropriate, UNLESS they are a personal friend. there is always a difference in the way we treat an aunty verses an akka, so it really depends on how close and comfortable I am to the person. Akka is always flattering So might as well default to it.

My mom looks young for her age (though she likes to style herself as a grandma), so when women my age (or younger) speak to her, they use 'akka'.

Rihana · Apr 27, 2018

To call me Aunty your parent must be my DH's or my sibling, cousin, or a very close friend. Or you must be a very close friend of my child and of similar age. If I am coaching you and a team for debate or a math tournament or basketball, or simply dropping you home on a not-regular car pool duty, no Aunty. If being introduced for the first time, and not sure, a simple Mrs.<..> will do. I will even forgive the automatic use of my husband's/ child's last name. I am reasonable.

In the West, we have Ma'am or Miss or Sir which are fairly generic ways of addressing people until able to ask them how they prefer to be addressed or figuring it out ourselves, or the person himself says call me 'John.'

Desi kids in the U.S. have to be more attentive to this. There might be people like me who will frown on the 'Aunty' use and then some who could be offended at a Mrs. <last name> from an Indian kid.

To answer the question, it is not age gap but the nature of the relationship that allows or not for 'Aunty' to be used. Now that can be hard for us Indians who make life long friends even after a single train journey. : )

paru123 · Apr 27, 2018

Just today morning I happened to ask the way to a new place to a stranger who must be above 25 years. The fellow immediately said aunty go this way to reach there. Me being in mid thirties was shocked to hear that word from 25+ guy. Was wondering whether he didn't have commonsense to judge my age or am I looking that old to be called an aunty.

I had already stopped wearing churidhar and shifted to kurti leggings fearing the aunty word.

Wonder if hair should not be tied up or should I reduce weight or put make up so that such 25+ age people don't call me aunty. I have no issues if teenager's call me aunty.

Amica · Apr 28, 2018

I ask people how they wish to be addressed. Most are happy to tell me.

As for me, I'll answer to pretty much anything. If someone calls me Aunty, I assume it's either a gesture of respect or they've forgotten my name. It's cool either way.

anika987 · Apr 28, 2018

Honestly,someone using the word "aunty" is very irritating.I am sure younger women in their early twenties even unmarried getting called aunty by Small kids is annoying.When I was newly married,I was only 22 and I remember the other ladies who had kids aged 7 and older made sure I was addressed aunty and found some pleasure in it.

Right or wrong is a different question.Aunty makes one feel old.

Best to address by their last name.

When it is extremely rude?A 20 year old calling a 30 year old aunty just coz she is married and has kids.

Just voicing my opinions.