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after fight

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by minip, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. minip

    minip New IL'ite

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    hi ladies,
    whenever me and my husband have a fight after that he will go to office without eating anything
    after each fight even if it is his mistake i have to tell him repeatedly to eat something. then only he will eat .other wise he will eat outside this is some ego but continuing for long time .this is his house also, can't he just eat without me telling many times
    please give your experience and suggestions on this

    mini
     
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  2. Amicable

    Amicable Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Mini,

    Don't worry, its normal. Its not ego, they just want to get more attention. Don't take it to hard, some women do the same thing. You do your duty, finally when he will calm down, he will start eating at home. By that time, let him enjoy outside food for few days. But you make sure always keep Peopto-Bismol for diarrhea or stomach ache. (Just kidding). Hope he will miss home made food soon. Good luck.
     
  3. Murugesan

    Murugesan New IL'ite

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    Hi Mini

    The same thing will happen in my house very often whenever i wan to have good food
    or bored with same old taste i just do the same thing and i will not forget to get parcell for her there ends our problem. It is a part of our life nothing serious!!!!!!!!
     
  4. madhurigupta

    madhurigupta New IL'ite

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    From my experience i can only say, don't pick fights in the morning, if for any reason u do don't let him go out of the house until the issue is resolved.
    when in peace then make it a rule that no body will take out their anger
    on food, & no fights can be stretched beyond 15 mins.
    Try! works for me.
     
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear mini,
    some couple have this habit of showing their difference of opinion not heeding the time, as that is the time the spouse may be available or so, it is better to write on a paper and leave it on his table he made read it and then slowly think about the conclusion and both sit down at leisure to settle this issue by weekend until it is too urgent, always remember your home is also the base for your children and any of these differences could be making a disaster of a child psychology in handling life, so pl sit down plan how to put it through, if you can do it in their absence very good.

    children coming from homes where parents are not happy always arguing and so on do not have a pleasant outlook of life, so train your mind from now to solve issues in a amicable manner, i know it is always you are at fault but take a stand, yes i am at fault and lets not let this brew over the day... you know when the fight is brewing try to cool it off for both of you as well as the child, when you are silent you will find your husband regretting and the end result is more effective than the fight...hope this helps..sunkan
     
  6. saheli08

    saheli08 New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I personally feel it is very childish on your husband's part.and on this matter it would be a lot easier for you to take it easy. You are right its his house too. Do your duty ,tell him to eat and tell him why take anger over food. And leave it at that. Don't worry too much about it after all he is an adult and should take responsibility of his health too. and he is not starving, he will eat out.
    I think by giving too much importance sometimes we enable the other person to act the way they do. and please don;t stay hungry yourself, I've had friends who stay hungry because their husband didn't eat anything!! At least one of you should be sensible over this.
    Good Luck!
     
  7. nini82

    nini82 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi!
    When my husband starts fighting usually I quiet and vice versa.
    Gussa is not good for health.
    The best solution to stop fight Just enjoy a glass of cold water.Be calm and quiet.Put yr point when he/she is not angry.
     
  8. mallugal

    mallugal Senior IL'ite

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    Hi mini,

    I think the best solution is silence.Whenever we have a problem i try to leave tht room.. will spend some time alone, so tht i will be calm and wont say anything. By this time my DH wud feel so guilty...I think ur hubby wants u to ask him to eat again and again, just to get more attention. Leave him as it is he'll come around.
     
  9. minip

    minip New IL'ite

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    hi,

    thank you for all friends for giving advices

    when some disagreement comes between my parents i have never seen my father eating outside. so i am wondering is it his unique ego or it happens in other homes.

    when we were in india he used to do that a lot .but as we are in US now he will go out for few days as we don't get indian food much here and eating out is expensive so slowly he will start eating when i put food on the table.

    i don't want my daughter to learn these things .she should have a good family environment growing up. so i am careful each day to avoid a fight and ignore things which i disagree .he always makes me feel like i am wrong and he knows what is right

    mini
     
  10. ANK

    ANK Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Mini,

    This is quite common, but the difference I see is that they will eat out for a meal or a day or 2, not more than that. As u have mentioned abt. ur daughter, and this affecting the environment at home etc. What I would suggest is, having a talk with hubby. Find out whether he does this only becoz of that particular fight, or does he have more issues, that u both need to thrash out. Is the anger that he is showing only coz of a silly fight? I would def. advice u to sit and have a chat, heart to heart. Communication, when put away just keeps on adding to problems, so its better to thrash it out and get done, and start on a clear slate! All the best!
     

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