Affair

is it because deep down you don't really think he is going to leave you? you are just sad he likes somebody else. But you think that he is never going to take that huge step of leaving you... could this be the reason for no anger?

 

On a lighter note, I can actually imagine Karan Johar turning all this scenarios into 3 hour long movies :rotfl

 

I agree to what others have pointed out. I am still very confused on how true it is.

If I were in your situation, I would have given a nice slap if my DH says that way. Later I might also be very sad and full of confusions. But I don't think you have reacted at all when he told this to you.

 

You are unbelievable!

I agree with ASG when she says, that you need to ask him to make a decision between you and her right now - you should not give him the luxury of keeping you as a risk mitigation option. I am not sure why you think of him as a nice person. Frank he may be, but he is heartless.

I am not sure what you are seeking from the folks over here. May be a listening ear and some empathy? Right now I can only see that you are bewildered and confused. Give yourself sometime and collect your wits. Time is very powerful, you will not be the same always.

 

Akshara,

In your original post in this forum - in last para you asked "What do I do now?"

The forum has answered you. Now time for you to think, and take action.

 

i think most of the forum members here are writing about how she should have felt, rules, regulations, laws and other preconcieved notions - If they had been married for 10 yrs, they should be loving each other very much. They should not love any other. If one of them loves another person, then the wife/husband should feel cheated and feel angry. He or she should not forgive the other person and wlak out of marriage and divorce the other person.

It is left to the individual to decide what she feels, how she feels and reacts to the situation. there is no hard and fast rule about how she feels or reacts. If she is in distress and seeks advice or help only then we can interject. She has mentioned that she feels sad for her husband and is happy to be with him and continues to love him and has asked what should she do now. She is free to do what ever she likes until it is distressing to her.

 

No, that is your notion. People here only gave their opinion as she herself asked what she should have done. Read her OP again.

Agreed. It is for her to decide what suits her best. Let us leave it to her wisdom.

 

I can understand how OP is feeling... I had begun to start a long post here but unfortunately the browser closed unexpectedly...

The general gist of it was that when you are with someone over many years, they become not just your partner but take the role of a mother, father, brother, sister or even your best friend, as I'm sure many ILites will agree with me..

Letting go will be painful.. letting go of the many happy memories you had along the way and letting go of this one person who means the world to you. This one person who has shared your joys, your sorrows, this person of whom you had dreams of growing old with gracefully....

So I can understand that you don't feel angry... because he is your husband of 10 years and that's what you have learnt along your journey 'to forgive'...


So I can understand that you want him to be happy because you 'love him'... 'and letting go is just another way of saying that you love him'....

So whatever you decide, I wish you luck with everything.... may God be with you........

 

Very friendly feelings for hubby dear ! He doesnt know how lucky he is to have a sympathetic wife like you . Maybe this lukewarm, tepid love sent him looking for some action. You are still feeling sorry for the poor dear whose mistress is having fun with two men and cannot decide.
Looks like they are on a trial basis and quite possible that he would be sent back to you if the siren does not want him anymore.
Be ready to wipe his tears !