Advise to deal with an old man of indecipherable intentions

Hello ladies,

I'm new to this forum, and I registered because I need some help. I would appreciate some Indian women's point of view and insight into this. I understand that there are many different cultures in India, so if you are familiar with North Indian culture it would be highly appreciated.

This is a bit long though.

First, let me say that I can be a very ambivalent person, so instead of reacting to things as soon as they happen, I start thinking about the whys of it, so my position with respect to the issue is not always clear to others. And adding to it cultural differences, I'm kind of lost here.

And well, I have been going to this store, and the guys working there are kind of teasing me. I didn't mind having the younger one (in his early 20s) being flirty and all. But the thing is, this Punjabi boy and the others seem to be relatives and, under my kinda biased impression of their conservative culture, I think that unlike a Westerner, they might take any passive reaction as a "sluttish" invitation they could take advantage of. I'm not 100% sure; I don't know them that well.

What I do know is that I didn't have any problems with them nor did I hear anything weird from them until one day the guy my age (who I have always had a crush on and is in his mid twenties) got all mad and jealous when another customer was trying to flirt with me. I wasn't even talking to the guy; I was smiling to myself because of the funny things he was saying. But the guy my age was mad at me the next days I would go to the store. (Perhaps, out of jealousy he has even badmouthed me?) Before that, he used to be and even now seems to be a sweet, shy guy. However, not long after the incident, I have had the younger one (who I had not seen before and came to replace the other in his shift, which is when I have time to go...usually) always trying to flirt with me, but by his subtle attitudes, I could notice he doesn't take me seriously. But I didn't mind it as even though he has taken many liberties with me, I think he is just an immature boy who is harmless. And his advances have never really gone beyond verbalization, albeit one day he playfully touched my hands with his fingers while giving me a receipt. Sometimes I have even smiled/laughed at his attempts to act all macho with me.

The problem comes when the older man (who may be their father or uncle) enters into the picture. I have no idea what's up with him. I fail to read his body language and his attitudes confuse me. He has sometimes approached us me and either of the young guys and talked to them about how serious I am and how I rarely smile. After this, the younger guy acted a bit more serious and the guy my age looked more relaxed.

But, as I keep smiling (seldom, when I am in a good mood) at the younger guy's attempts to flirt with me, I have seen some changes in the older man's attitudes. I think he is like trying to see what chances HE himself has with me (??) so he seems to be "testing the waters" or something like that (??). (Or, maybe he is just trying to be friendly?? I don't know.) Now he doesn't simply limit himself to observe how I interact with the guys and make comments like the ones mentioned above. Now he comes and asks me repetitive questions (why I'm so serious and quiet; why I do not smile; why I just go there, buy and leave) and the other day, when he was alone in the store, he extended his hand to me while saying hi (the younger guy had extended his palm to me before three times, two of which I ignored and one at which I got mad and happened in front of the older man)!!

The main problem is that, despite the jealousy impasse, I kinda like the guy my age. In all honesty, he has never been disrespectful to me and whenever he looks at me, there's a spark in his eyes. But, before the older man started commenting about how serious I am and and how I don't smile, he tried to hide those things in front of him. And I know that in Indian culture, the parents' approval is extremely important for making decisions. So, how could I ever have anything to do with him when the father/uncle is acting ambivalent towards me?? What could I say so he can stop asking me so intrusive questions that have nothing to do with a customer? I want everything to be as it used to, when I had no problems with any of them.

NOTE: This might be irrelevant, but in case it could serve as a cultural reference, I'm a Hispanic girl who could easily pass for an Indian woman. And some people hold stereotypes that Hispanic women have children at young ages and stuff (even though none of them apply to me.) One day the younger guy even asked me if I had children. Maybe this perception is what is leading them to act like that??

 

It's not an 'ethnic' store though. I go to buy some stuff because it's cheaper than in other places, and as a college student I try to minimize expenses to save some money. And I don't go too often. Once or twice a week.

Do you really think they are that dangerous though?? Don't you think there could be a way for the older man to stop asking me questions that have nothing to do with a customer?? Maybe telling him something? Acting in certain way? Or, do you really think there's no other solution than to avoid the place?

 

What do you mean?