Advices from mom.....

Our mothers are our earliest teachers. And often -- at least regarding some things --
they are our best teachers. Here, the women of iVillage share the words of wisdom their
mothers handed down to them. And not surprisingly, a good number of them report that
they're passing the same lessons down to their own children.
Thank your mother for the wisdom she's imparted to you over the years!
About Life
1. "'You aren't getting anything done just sitting there.' This is what I am now telling
my teens! It applies to everything. You want something? You've got to get up and go get it
-- a job, success, a glass of soda, whatever -- take charge and just do it!"
2. "'Appreciate all the blessings that you receive in life, and don't bemoan the things you
can't have. Focus instead on things you have influence in.' Despite all the challenges and
sorrows that have come my way I don't despair. I celebrate all that life has to offer and
continue to grow and learn."
3. "My mother always told me that the one thing I should do was get an education. She said:
'Almost anyone can take just about everything away from you -- but your education, once you
have it, no one can take it away from you.'"
About Men
4. "'If a guy really wants to talk to you, he'll call.' This advice stopped me from spending
a lifetime waiting for the guy to call back."
5. "'You can't change someone who doesn't want to change.' When I started dating, I kept that
in mind with every new boyfriend. If he wasn't the guy I wanted, I got out of the relationship
instead of trying to change him. Because of this, my husband is all the things I wanted in a
man. My mom's advice helped me find the man of my dreams!"
6. "'Never count on a man being around forever.' This is kind of one-sided, but I learned from
my mom that I should always be able to take care of myself. Although I love having a man, I
can do just fine without him. I am my own person and independent."
7. "'If you settle for less that's all you're going to get.' I will always remember my mother's
words, and will not settle for a man who does not deserve my love."
8. "'Don't marry the man you can live with - marry the man you can't live without.' "
About Marriage
9. "'Don't sweat the small stuff in your marriage. Respect one another and express your respect
daily. Pick your battles by level of importance to you.' All of this advice stopped me from
setting up a pattern that sounds -- and feels -- suspiciously like nagging.
10. "'When you marry, you marry the whole family.' The two times I married I did not heed her
advice, and I am so regretful. I truly believe that having a healthy extended family makes a
huge difference in a person's life! I talk to my children about this often and hope they learn
from my mistake.
11. "'Never shine your boyfriend or husband's shoes.' As a teen, I thought it was one of those
meaningless old sayings, but in 27 years of marriage, I have discovered that her real message
did get through to me. It is about being a real person in your own right, being a partner but
not a servant. It has enabled me to keep a sense of myself and a certain amount of dignity in
difficult times and I am sure it has helped make my marriage successful."
About the Kitchen
12. "'Always organize yourself before any big occasion.' Make a written menu, shopping lists
and a time schedule for getting things done and tick off each thing as you do it. Plan serving
dishes and utensils, refrigerator space and how you will manage the oven and stove. That way
all the food is prepared on time, nothing is ruined from keeping it warm too long, and you
won't feel rushed."
13. "'If you ever want to know what's going on in your daughter's life, make stuffed grape
leaves.' They take a long time to roll and it gives you all the time you could ever need to
chatter about anything! This is also why we weren't allowed to learn how to roll them until
we were 11 or 12. That's the age when we stopped talking as much to our mother. My daughter
and I just rolled grape leaves together a few weeks ago; we had a great talk!"
About Looking Our Best
14. "'Wash your face every morning and every night.' I have never deviated from that bit of
advice, ever! She also was always after us not to frown -- and, boy, I'm glad she did because
I see so many women with frown lines between their eyes and on their foreheads!"
15. "'Makeup should enhance what you already have; learning to play up your best features is
always more appealing than trying to plaster on a look that's just not you.' Less really is
more! Also, my mom always said that your hair should frame your face, not shield it!
(Remember the late 60's and early 70's!)."
16. "'Stay out of the sun.' I am 56 but look 42-ish -- not a wrinkle present on my face!"
About Being a Mother
17. "'I am the best advocate for my children.' She taught me to not to be afraid to speak up
for what they need."
18. "'If you let baby cry for a couple of minutes while you take care of your first child, the
baby won't remember waiting.' My mother told me this the day I brought my newborn daughter
home and introduced her to my older daughter. If I always responded to the baby first, she
explained, the oldest would resent it."
19. "'Make hay while the sun shines.' What she meant by that was, 'get things done while the
baby sleeps or is otherwise content.' Words of wisdom such as these can be very helpful when
you are a new parent and everything is turning your world upside down. To this day, during my
daughter's naptime, I have my seven-year-old son take 'quiet time,' too, so I can 'make hay
while the sun shines.'"
20. "'Always provide unconditional love for your children, no matter what the situation. Even
if they seem to have turned against you and say mean things, remember that a mother's love is
eternal, and one day they will come back to you with the same love you have given them
throughout their lives, and that love will be given to their children as well.'"