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Advice please

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by lovelydoll, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    yeah,
    few days back even had a issue with this, every weekend my father rings him but now a days he is late home at nights becoz of business and office is shifted to new place, my father doesnot know to call so my brothers ring me for that
    so, my hubby was saying I am not imp to them so they ring to u ,they should ring my cell if they want to talk.
    I dont have a cell and not expected one also, and just unplug the phone.
    papam my parents doesnt know all these and they were trying it seems
    my hubby was stupid and was saying to me that though they know that i am in the house , why they are not ringing to cell when that is not working
    again, atlast they managed to call him
    it was a big issue, he was at home searching for a new job then , it seems that i should not let my parents know this, ofcourse his was a contract job , again started blaming u tell everything to our parents, but i said they asked casually , and i handed it u you, it was a mistake it seems
    again big drama
     
  2. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    There is too much drama going on. On calling I can understand if your parents just call and talk to you and dont talk to him, he can feel bad, but here the situation is much different and much worst. He has some personality issues, if you dont mind what is the age groups of both of you

    He is very dominating on you.

     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  3. Vidya21

    Vidya21 Senior IL'ite

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    You said you were working on your exam? Don't think of it as a waste, get the licensing done, that will help you get a job here. That is going to give you far more direction and options than sticking it out like this.
     
  4. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    surprising 13 months difference
     
  5. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    there is no question of not talking to him
    my father calls to talk o him
    first talks to him and then to me
     
  6. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    yeah u are correct
    i dont think so , but often the issue of money is poking and he is not satisfied
    one day , he was saying that if i get a job i will change, so i need not work.
    then asked me whether i go against him and work , becoz if people ask he can respond.
    i said yes, he was upset and said i can't fund anymore
    next day he was telling , u work for me
    i am getting irriatated and more over he says i am not giving him privacy
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  7. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    In all your posts so far I have noticed you and your family are fair and no where unfair. This looks like a big attitude problem with your DH. He is too much controlling and dominating ....

     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  8. lovelydoll

    lovelydoll Senior IL'ite

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    MIL played a lot and is ..........
    while we were returning she said that don't tell everything to ur parents. my hubby is mum pet
    small issues kept cropping, from last aug but this time after india's trip everything is miserable.
    it seems my DH did not like ornaments which we brought for marriage. he was in US then, and main reason for not liking is becoz he thinks they are selected by my father , and wants to sells them all. he was yelling saying how will u wear them when i am not liking and MIL was seeing the drama , she was present for shopping and with every one concern and consent they were taken. My MIL , mum is an idiot old woman who controls all these things, MIL acts according to her and DH accto MIL.
    that lady was saying to my mum how can ur daughter useall those when my daughter is not using but most of the things were given by my mum when I came here, not even my hubby.
    yeah hubby dominating , with ego
    getting mad becoz of these things.
    when we went to India, before landing only hubby started saying cook , some breakfast for me and dont allow MIL to do anything. I was also new to the place, yeah I know how to behave, but he was insane in many things . If MIL used to sweep, he used to shout and tell ask her to do why are u doing
    all the 1 month , I used to cook and look after but still no concern about me.
    MIL is dramatic to do those becoz, there was a maid also. only before son she acts
    even washed clothes, she used to not touch and say go get ur's and fold but she used to fold everyone else
    one day she said to shower and come , i will make dough for chapathi and immediately after coming she said u should do ur's and eat. high drama is hubby is present and absent.
    I feel i am almost drowning now
     
  9. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Lovelydoll, there is nothing more to advice, you can vent out and unburden your feelings , and also how are you going to fight this situation now.?
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    LovelyDoll,
    It seems that your hubby is a moron.

    1. Do you want to continue this marriage? (assuming your DH will not change much)

    2. Are you open to the idea of a divorce? and then moving on to find a better life in whatever way that means to you?

    Answer this, and we can take it from there, since the suggestions that IL-ites can give will be influenced by what YOU want to do here.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010

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