Advice needed for future DIL's!!!

so...my marriage talk has started between 2 families. my future MIL has a sharp tongue and a humor sense that puts down others. Personally I have seen that as well, not to me, but she talking behind people back. That is her nature. One good thing, I am relived about is...my family is a renowned and respected family...and we are both educationally and financially way way way ahead of them. Hopefully she does not put down people in my family. I personally think she does that so she can feel powerful...whatever...i don't want to play that game

I am entering this marriage knowing about her and all the issues my co-sister has faced. My action plan is to set clear boundaries and be respectful and courteous but at the same time keep a distance from the beginning. I have communicated this to my fiance and he is all ok.

What do you think of this and can you also please share how to deal with MIL's like this?

Thanks in advance

 

Update:

My future in laws visited my native and got shell struck by my family. Apparently they were all praises about us to their relatives.

My family, both my mom and dad are very simple people. Though my dad is an IITian back in those days with double M.Tech, he never shows off his education or his wealth (like he owns a minium of 35 crores in assests) and my mom owns one pair of gold earring and a chain and a pair of bangles. No matter where she goes this is all she wears..she never wears pattu sarees. I am the opposite , I like to dress up.

It's funny...so obviosly my inlaws did not know much about my family and my fiancee also does not know the details. My sister was telling me, their eyes went wide open when they entered the house and before leaving she told my mom, you are very simple and starightforward people....and the conversation went well between them.

My fiance's anni later told me that she was bragging about my family..how nice they were..how simple they were...etc etc.

I think this is a good thing. Let's see

 

@ justanothermom

Wow! Strong statement! You know nothing how I am personally. This is an online forum and I can post the facts without fearing for sarcastic judgemental statements...

If I wasn't modest I would have bragged about my fathers wealth right from day 1 of my relationship with my fiancée and his SIL ..... Not wait for 2 years and for them to find out when they visit my native. And none of my friends know anything about how well off my parents are...

And note.. It is my fathers wealth. Not mine. And hence I work and pay for my own higher education and all expenses related to me. And I don't own any gold jewellery other than the earring gifted by my fiancée which I wear all the time.

I just thought it was really funny how my mil reacted to my parents house and cars! She was in for a surprise.

Modestly has nothing to do with posting facts anonymously in an online forum... Seriously what am I even going to gain? Online respect??.. Lol!

 

Thanks YM,

Valuable inputs. I did speak to him before. He understands and is with me 100%.

Right now my mil is all excited about my family, only because they are rich. Had she seen them in a tiny apartment no matter how sweet they are..she would have stepped all over them. I feel like i know her. She is all about power. I should deal with her carefully by not snatching away the power but give her the illusion of power.

my cosister went through bad depression at my inlaws place. mil was disrespectful towards her parents and that ended up in a huge fight.

a funny story, the first time my mom and mil spoke over the phone, my mil had no idea about my familys background. My fiancee himself knows my dad as a retired engineer. Thats about it. So, mil threatens my mom that she knows police. My mom did not say anything....in a few months during my marriage, my mil will see politicians, a famous movie star family, judges and commissioners..all high power people.

She got a preview when she visited my family in native. Before she used to tell nasty stuff about my parents like they are trying to get me married off...what kinds of family i come from that i want to marry younger guy..blah blah. Now she sees money, she is all praises about them.....people are weird, just weird.