Adult Movies viewing bad for marriage - Agree or Disagree?

Hey, I think this poll is appropriate.

Boys go to strip clubs, view ****, have "friends with benefits", and their parents think it's ok because they are "men".

Later, these boys do not have the capacity to get close to their wives, which plants trouble in the marriage.

 

Sally dear..u always start the perfect thread ...
Personally I think there is something inherently lacking in a person who needs to watch ****
when they are married and have a flesh and blood spouse next to them.

It creates unhealthy unrealistic expectations as u rightly pointed out.
Building a passionate marriage is a lot of work. It doesn't happen in a day or a week .
The couple needs to invest time and whole lot of it if you want one .Watching **** ..flirting online and offline with other women/men..is a cheap short cut that only derails the marriage in the long run.

 

I was recently mauled by a feline cat, so I will be more guarded with my opinions.

First of all, I think this statement "**** viewing bad for marriage" needs to be qualified.

a. MARRIAGE: Are we talking about lifelong marriages here? There are people who are married for a few years, find someone else and move on. So we cannot definitively conclude if **** is the cause of the split. Also some couples like to watch sexually explicit movies together. They believe it enhances their love life. So is there some beneficial effect of ****? Long term vs short term? Difficult to answer merely on the basis of anonymous internet postings without having details about the marriage.

b. ****:
Definition (from www.thefreedictionary.com): Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

THere are different types of ****. The problem I have is that there are erotic "naughty" movies with a sizeable production budget on the one hand. These movies have a story line because there is a budget for a screenplay writer. They also have music, which requires a music director. Plus you need actors having reasonable talent. Cinematographer, good post production studio etc. All these require a reasonable budget.

On the other hand, there are movies that only want to capture the act of sex without the music, story, acting
etc. Thus the type of actors you get here are those whose opportunities in life are limited by their lack of talents or conditions.

My question is: will you make a moral judgement between a "dirty" **** movie & these aesthetic erotic movies (such as Tales of Kamasutra) on the basis of production budget i.e MONEY?

A lot of women have no problems watching the erotic movies for the below reasons posted by SALLYR:
1. it does not violate physical love since it is not ****.
2. The act depicted in the movie involves natural love-making between equals, not like a low-budget hardcore **** movie where the guy calls the lady b*+*h, $lut etc. Usually the act is preceded by the right conditions, so that it does not look artificial, such as the couple get stuck in a cottage on a rainy night. So the love making scene follows naturally.
3. There are no unrealistic expectations because these are based on real life experiences.
4. The actors are not exploited.

Even if you refuse to watch these movies, contemporary Bollywood movies do feature the mandatory rain song, shots of a woman's hips, lip-to-lip kisses etc.

So I think many women would agree that we are discussing the "Effects of watching low-budget/mid-budget hardcore **** movies on reasonably conservative Indian marriages".

My answer: AGREE.

However, I did not vote for the following reason:

I have a further doubt that borders on a philosophical issue.
Let me make a list of things that has affected either of our expectation of the other:

a. Movies/Books: I love older films/books. I would love my wife to be like Savitri: well-dressed, patient, kind, affectionate (no need to be passionate). Or even Melaine Wilkes from Gone with the Wind.
My wife likes me overall but would like me to: cut down my rather generous spare tyre, be sociable, gregarious.

b. Clothes: I am not allowed to wear dhoties, shave my head. Wife wants me to wear Jeans, have a hairstyle, wear clunky metallic watches like many heroes.

My point is that we now live in a world that is saturated with media and advertising telling us what our values should be, what we should wear, eat, how should we address each other etc. These are the days when people no longer name their children Pachai Karuppan, Pichai Appan, Nagambal, Alamelu etc. We want to call our children Nikil, Neha, Tanya. If your young daughter told you she wants to marry a temple pujari or your young son told you he wants to be a school teacher, would you agree? We "inspire" them to work for McKinsey, become a neuro-surgeon and so on.

So what is unrealistic is subjective, but overall we can say that our perceptions are being moulded by media and advertisement and we are being asked to "change". Change is the only constant, we are told.

Sorry for the deviation and long post, but in regards to **** we are one of the first generation to get exposed to this. Our children will hopefully and probably just turn their noses in disgust, "how can people watch this"?

Best

 

I am curious to know the following :

"Does **** watching influence a person, commit passion crime / sexual violence on women ?"...........or "Regular **** watching lead to the making of a sex offender"

I have no idea about the above subject. I have heard that in the West, they identify a sex offender, according to the street / location, where he resides and gives this information to the Community. As they have studied the phenomenon of sexual violence/ passion crime so much,...........has my above question, been studied any time in the past, by any Agency ?

Can any one throw some light on it, with some authentic information on it ?

 

i would say while **** watching by itself is not bad for marriage if both the persons involved are game. but when it becomes excessive, habitual, compulsive leading to major reason of conflict between the two of them, then it becomes 'bad'.

but why wait for things to actually go 'bad'. cos u never know when an harmless indulgence becomes a habit and when that turns into addiction. there really no strict divide between the three.

 

**** is a bad catalyst.