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Adieu My Bald Pate

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Apr 9, 2020.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    There may be so many casualties to COVID19 like crashing economies, loss of jobs, deaths, overflowing hospitals and inadequate protective and testing equipment. Fortunately, none of them have touched me. But I have suffered a major personal loss---my bald pate.


    It is something I have nurtured carefully fir years no decades. A lot of people have actually fooled into believing I have lost all my hair, -- at least on my head. Now that deception, alas, is over. Mercifully hardly anyone other than my wife daughter and the dogs has seen it thanks to the COVID19 lockdown I don’t think the dogs care much about it but my wife and daughter are sadly shaking their heads .to see hair sprouting on my head.

    “Dad your hair is sprouting like Harry Potter’s, “ said the daughter. M” Remember what happened when Uncle Vernon got the boy’s hair cut? It grew within days”.

    “ I know, I know,” I said part irritated and part flattered by the comparison with the boy wizard. “A plague on the saloons All are closed due to the goddamn virus”

    Yes, Once in a fortnight I got my head shaved off and my “French” beard trimmed (Frankly I don’t understand the “French” bit the beard is very Indian. I didn’t import it from France. Mercifully I am not in the crosshairs of TV anchors breathing nationalist fire otherwise they might have used my beard to question my loyalty to India.)

    The first time I saw myself in the mirror with the bald pate and beard I thought I looked like a jinn from some Arabian Nights animation series. But the DW convinced me that I looked quite distinguished.


    Maybe she was right. Because earlier when I lived in a VIP area cops on duty and security guys outside homes that I passed during my morning walk used to salute me. I am not bluffing mind you.

    Now when I look in the mirror I find that the Jinn has vanished to be replaced by a guy who looks like a cross between a beggar and a left-wing intellectual. I don’t mind being mistaken for an intellectual but what if someone drops a coin in my hand?

    “Aw, that won’t happen DW assured me. Remember we are in lockdown and you haven’t been on the street for weeks. As soon as the lockdown ends and the saloon in the colony opens you can get your old look back”

    “You don’t have to wait that long” the daughter assured me” “ I will use the hair trimmer and the old YOU will reemerge “.

    “But where will you find that trimmer? I had hidden it somewhere to ensure that you don’t indulge in your bizarre experiments with hairstyles and I have forgotten where it is” said the DW


    The daughter had almost given some conservative kin a massive heart attack with her head partly shaved and the remaining hair painted a bright blue.


    The daughter gave her mom a dirty look and my hopes sank. So I am now resigned to my new look that cruel fate and COVID19m have imposed on me.

    Dear Corona-ji (Do notice the respect I am giving you), haven’t you overstayed your welcome? Never mind that nobody had welcomed you but don’t you think it is time you departed ? Never mind the sickliest, death toll and the crashing economy. But please let me say au revoir to my bald pate instead of adieu.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2020
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    My son has the same look as what you described but uses his blades to clean shave his hair and trim his long beard. When he was in undergrad, he had treaded hair and his passport photograph is with that photo. Every time I accompanied him to India, at the port of entry, the immigration officers used to have long hard look at him. But now with his bald head, he will have no difficulty in entering any country.

    By the way, why the next generation looks the same with trim hair in the head but with a long beard? When I watch cricket, I barely understand who is bowling or who is batting.

    Sprouting is okay but it is important you stay home during this difficult time. Don't succumb to the pressure from your daughter to trim your hair as most women have a tendency to decorate men's heads with their creative artwork in mind. You would suddenly look like a character in a Sci-Fi movie with green hair that comes sideways with no hair on top of your head. Stay safe and keep your head safe too. :laughing:
     
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  3. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

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    :) Humorous post Balajee.

    Hehehe - Not only is Mother Nature trying to restore her natural state of the Earth, it appears she is restoring the natural state of human head also.
    The atmosphere is cleaner without all the chemicals from the spritz and blitz of hair care and beauty care products used in the salons and saloons.

    Sorry @Balajee. You gonna hate me :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2020
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  4. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Balajee,

    That is a humourous take on the problem that most men (dare I say?) seem to face these days! Just this past week, the guys in our family were encouraging and cheering one another to grow those beards and us girls, stepped out of video call to give them time to talk out their 'hairy' situations. But I tell you what, in my mind a pony tail and a beard is not a bad look at all! Ah! I get it. Ponytail phase is too far away? Then please allow your daughter to experiment. You will enjoy reliving the days from her childhood when she lovingly might have put rubber bands in your hair, playing dress up or salon or whatever she might have called it back then!
     
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  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    vISWA ORTUmAY NATELY i AM NOT ALLOWED TO USE MYRAZOR BY MY6 FAMILY. cOME TO THINK OF IT IT IS NOT SAFE IN THESE DAYS OF PANDEMIC. WHO KNOWS HOW THE INFECTION WILL HIT YOU AND THROUGH WHAT ROUTE. LOT OF THINGS ABOUT CORNA HAVE PROVED TO BE FALSE AFTER INITIAL CLAIMS. LIKE THEY SAID IT DOES NOT SPREAD THROUGH ANIMAL'S AND NOW IT HAS BEEN FOUND TO INFECT THEM TOO.The LATEST IS THE VIRUS WAS FIRST SPREAD BY BATS IN wUHAN. tHEY ARE SO FASR SAYING IT SPREADS ONLY THROUGH LUNGS BUT MAY CHANGE TACK SOON AND FIND OTHER WAYS THROUGH WHICH IT SPREADS.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Quite hilarious with family wholeheartedly participating in celebration. Besides genetic reasons, the baldness could be due to using synthetic fertilisers. Must try organic.

    2. But then in conclusion you said au revoir though you titled the post as adieu my bald pate

    3. A marketing man in a shop bestowed with gift of the gab selling hair oil promising instant growth.
    A total baldy I man fallen for it purchased. With beaming face, asked to show few varieties of combs. Optimistic.
    Good bye for the time being not adieu.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2020
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Removed as it is not necessary.
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Remove what, hair?
     
  9. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Balajee,
    A shaven head stands for dominance,control and authority.I beleive it having seen Yul Brynner many times in the beautiful movie The Magnificent Seven ,about 60 years back.His style,elegance and action will overpower any one.French beard is a style statement as we see in the case of Brad Pitt-he looks so handsome. Andre Agassi hypnotised Steffi Graf with his shaven head cum beard and married her. The only freedom men enjoy is to change their hairstlyle and the beard.I had the privilege of Lincoln beard style though there was no remote connection to his intellect and stature.As long as the sprouting hair does not interfere with intellectual activity enjoy the new Avtar.
    Regards.sln
     
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I removed something that is not yet validated as yet by the medical field as everyone is experiencing it for the first time. I don't like to publish it here unless some official version comes out.
     

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