Adamant daughter

ASG:

WOW!!! WHAT A POST!!! It brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy at least someone sees the world in a different way. You gave a slap on faces that think money, status, false thinking is all what life is about.

People have a long way to go before they can actually see what you are trying to send across. A very long hard way indeed to learn the fact!!! The whole mindset of our people sucks!!

Nalina: Please give your daughter some time to think how she wants to lead her life because at the end of the day she is the one to live with that person. Do not get all panicky, think in a cool, calm way and sort out all the facts. Where love is involved, you have to deal with patience.
The giant industrialist, big business tycoon in AP.....Ramoji Rao (Enadu fame), started very modestly selling sweets door to door and I need not tell you where he is now.

If you see, many such big shots now, started with humble means but the only thing they had is the dedication and commitment to achieve their goals in life. So, think with a open mind....amma and see you will get the solution. Talk to your daughter and find out her goals and aspirations. Never force on her your opinions and thoughts. Hope you find peace with your inner turmoil.

Good luck!!! :thumbsup
Sridivya

 

Sad, but true! It will take ages for us (read ppl here in India) to change that... no comments about the girl who married the pan parag guy...she did it for love... My post was about what most Indian parents would have thought on this situation..

You can call it street smartness, or motivation or whatever! If a person has it, he will do it! We all have examples of simple guys turning into billionaires with hardwork... with or without education. BUT how many of them turn out this way?
Thats why Indians invest in education. Now, if education makes them a better human or not, is something I dont know, but education provides a mean to fill up your tummy - something that only a person living in a THIRD WORLD country can understand!! Education provides a decent standard of living - even if its just a room to share with a family of 10.

That rarely happens...

True! Anything can happen. We can never know the future.

In any marriage, if things are going wrong, its not just the girl who suffers. The parents feel the trauma as well.

Exactly! Thats how it is. Sad, but true.

Well, not all Indian guys who are well educated and are from well off families beat up wives, or dont help in house work etc. Same goes for the gals as well. I have American male colleagues who've never changed their babies diapers, or cooked a simple meal as Pasta... and women who survive only on take aways and ready to eat meals!!

Well, we are still in the middle - neither here nor there - cant think of ourselves as kings!! Please come for an extended visit here to feel how it feels to be middle class.

 

Nalina Ma'am,

Please dont get so offended. Just as you who has mixed emotions, members who post here come with the same too. When a post in done on Public forums, you get varied responses. Sometimes it may favour you and sometimes it doesnt. But, with all due respects, do not take anything
so " personal " .. Please. Everyone here is a stranger to you and you dont have to get so offended by what each on writes.

We have had many threads here in the past where the OP was braistormed. Though here everyone who writes are members first, people write with their thinking and very attiutde. But, no one considers you or any one as a personal member and write. Maybe that is why some times emotions lacks. Please do not look for it. Sometimes you may find it sometimes you may not.

Also, when you started off writing here, there were many responses who said " Please give your daughter some time. " . But even after that, you came around saying that you had made arrangements for some meeting with a boy .. So, you again started getting more responses which asked you to wake up. Please dont take it otherwise. Just take it as some online forum and also see the other side of the coin.

Ma'am, you said, unless you are in that situation one doesnt feel the pain. Yes. You are right about that. But, then how can you expect people to go through what you go through and only then reply ? There are many posts where women talk about physical abuse, lotts of members respond to them. They dont think only peopl who are beaten up will understand what to do .. They just want support. Sometimes the responses are a rude awakening for the women who go through physical abuse. It may not sound kind at all. But, Ma'am, think about it this way, by simply saying
" Oh I feel so horrible for you, you must take care of yourself " , the OP is not going to get any solution to her problem. She is just being consoled. Pity is the last thing she needs when her life is in danger. She needs
" practical advice " ! I know you will agree to what I said.

Somtimes, the responses to anyone may sound unkind.. I agree that , it would be the last thing anyone would want. But, instead of getting emotional about it.. just stay away for sometime and think about it too. It may suddenly seem " alright " !

I am not your daughter's age. I am 10 years older to her. I am neither your age to understand what it feels to a mommy. But, I have a mommy too. Just like any of us who have respnded here to you. I have been where your daughter has been. I did like a guy in school. Yes, it was infatuation that time. But destiny worked for us and we were together for many many years. When we decided marriage, we were just in college and hadnt setled in life yet. But we believed each other and decided to talk about our relationship only when we are independant financially. Not just the guy, even me !

Respite being financially independant and well settled, our parents still had issues with our relationship. It was at the age of 27. All I aksed my parents were this - When they could trust every decision I made in my life till then, and were proud of their upbringing, why are they not trusting my decision now ? Now, my parents love my hubby so much that they concentrate on doing everything he likes. He didnt have to impress them. He just had to be himself. I know my parents and I know my hubby too. I knew they will click together.

That is all we ask of you. Dont confuse relationships. Dont talk about parents' duties as favours. Consider your daughter as an individual and let her grow up. Dont induce any of your thoughts or revoke her thoughts too. End of the day she is your daughter, NO ONE TO US. She will see her future clearly and will take the right decision.

Trust your upbringing. Dont get emotional over anything. It will not take you anywhere. You and your husband dont have to let go off sleep and worry too much. Leave it to time. By letting go off sleep and worrying, you both are just harming each other. It is ok to get emotional.. but to get emotional so much that it takes control over our lives, is not good.

Since you feel you are getting hurt by responses here, I shall close this thread and leave it to you to handle your problems. So, that no one of any age comes around suggesting or writing to you.

Members,

Since the OP is not willing to participate anymore in the thread, and the thread is more becoming a young vs older ( it is funny though, because all the elders had been young once and the youngsters are going to older someday ) which is a debate and not adding value to OP's issue, we have decided to close the thread .. Let us hold on to our thinking and refrain from posting when an OP finds they are not getting any benefit out of our replies. Whatever maybe the thoughts.

This is just a signing off post.. Thanks !!