Ackward SMS from FIL

Dear Swathi,

Its your FIL's life and his extra marital affair and let him alone deal with it. If the sms was sent to you only once and that too by mistake forget it and move on. If he repeats it then you think about taking action.

You yourself said that it might be a mistake (and the probability of it being a mistake is really high), so leave the FIL and his girl friend alone, why do you want to get into their affair.

Hope this helps.

regards

 

Jerks won't stop with a SMS. That is all I wanted to say.

If he has not done anything till now that proves him a jerk, you could safely take it, it is all in a mistake. Also the content of the SMS seems, that is directed to someone else as he doesn't know you are having headache (and looks like you indeed did not have any headache). So lets leave it at that.

Also I feel the contents of the SMS, even though weird, are quite harmless to be taken as coming from a jerk.

 

Why do you want to go and tell your husband, if you are sure that it is all a mistake and not intentional? I can understand that if your FIL is really up to something nasty, but he is not and seems a fine elderly gentleman. Secondly, even if your FIL is into an affair, that is his personal thing and why should you bother to tell it to your husband. After all, your husband may not take it kindly and may take it that you are trying to demean his family. Don't you have enough of your own family problems, so as to get into a new one? :crazy

You need not keep any preconceived notions about your in-laws (at least that is what I am able to judge with the information you provided us). Just be the way you were when you were with them before and be on your watch. Give them a chance before you brand them as good or bad!

I am not sure why are you so concerned with this incident as to take up a small private investigation of yourself (though I am not against it). I think you are being over cautious about things before they are due.

 

Welcome to that phase of life through which I already sailed :thumbsup . All I can say is that I tried to be quite open and frank when I was newly married. That in fact created more problems for me as it is very easy to get wrongly interpreted than rightly understood (at least during early days of marriage). In the beginning I felt quite sad at the returns I was getting for being "frank" and "honest". As time proceeded I realized that what I was doing has nothing to do with being honest but everything to do with applying the right judgment.

For instance, I got a good lot of complaints from my family regarding my in-laws and I could as well take each one of them to my wife. But what is the point in doing so? Rather I advised my parents to directly give them in kind rather than coming to me and complaining. My primary concern is my relationship with my wife, I can't afford to spoil it by taking up issues between my parents and in-laws. It is another thing that these days there are no such issues (may be because I never participated in them or encouraged them).

So Swathi, it is not about you being honest. It is about you using your judgment that will help you lead a happy life with your spouse by not letting minor issues interfere with you.

 

swatiZ,

If I'm permitted to add a few lines on your query, I would like to give a benefit of doubt to your FIL and hope that the nasty SMS was not meant for you.You should bring this to your attention of your DH. However, you should proceed with caution. It all depends on the trust level between you and your DH. If the trust levels are low forget it and do not complicate your life further. You may still have the proof in the form of SMS. But its very important that you put it across smartly.

I would say something like this to your DH. First get his undivided attention and tell him that you respect your in-laws very much and treat them like your parents. Show him the SMS and read it out . Mention that that this is what you got and again you need to give the benefit of doubt to your FIL. Mention that it may not be directed to you and you are worried if FIL is going astray and you are just being concerned about your MIL. This will definitely win the confidence of your DH assuming that he is a reasonable person to deal with. So it all depends on how much you and your DH trust each other and how well you present the issue with him.

Hope this helps.

Good luck!

 

Swathi, didnt you say this incident happend some time ago. be prepared to answer if your DH asks why you didnt tell him all this time and why now. so all this time it wasnt being untruthful and your MIL didnt deserve to know until now?