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Ackward SMS from FIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by swathiZ, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. swathiZ

    swathiZ New IL'ite

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    Hello, Am here with an unusual issues. Am married for some time now and immediately after wedding DH left abroad before I could join him I stayed with ILws for few months. I had gone to my native during this time when my FIL called me for some info and told me sms that. I sent him a SMS and in just seconds I got a msg back which read something like this in our Mothertongue 'Sweety, Apply balm for headache dear Darling' I was dumb stuck and didnt know how to react. I am neither Aish nor my FIL is Big B to speak closely nor did I tell him that i had Headache.

    After this when I went to my Inlaws house things were normal. later I learnt that he is in an affair with some lady. My DH does not know abt FIL.

    I have some more to update on this before which I would like to know how I should have reacted to this and what reaction could I expect when I inform this to my DH. (PS : I still have this msg in my mobile)
     
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  2. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    If this is only one time, then i would say dont mention it to your FIL. But inform your husband in a lighter tone, "your father sent this SMS to me instead of your mom". This will show you how he will react to this. It is always best to gauge his reaction before you proceed in this matter.

    If this repeats, tell your husband, "this doesnt seem a mistake. This isnt right behavior and i am very hurt" Let him deal with this. If you deal directly with your FIL, god knows how it can be manipulated. In the end, you might end up being at fault. So let dad and son deal with this.

    -Lakshmi
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Dont take it lightly, such peole will not back off on their own. If possible move out of joint family since your FIL is such a JERK

     
  4. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Swathi,

    After you tell this to your husband, stay with your parents till it is time to join your hubby. I agree with Tridev that such people dont back off on their own. So dont give him a chance to be alone with you or behave in an obscene manner.

    I think this is a temporary arrangement. She is there till she joins her hubby who is cuurently abroad.

    -Lakshmi
     
  5. IndainDad

    IndainDad New IL'ite

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    All,

    Can we please refrain from terming the elderly man a 'jerk' before OP clarifies if the SMS was intended for her in the first place? People of our parents' generation have a tough time with gadgets that we take for granted and it is possible he might have intended the SMS for OP's MIL (or for the lady with whom OP claims her FIL has an affair with). Moreover, she claims that he didn't know she had a headache. May be her MIL or the other lady had a headache.

    OP, are you suggesting that Big B and Aish are the only FIL-DIL combo in the world who are affectionate (in a nice way of course) with each other? Too bad NDTV doesn't talk of millions of other FILs who treat their DILs like their own daughters!!
     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Very true. They make a lot of mistakes because they are not as comfortable with gadgets.

    In this case, perhaps swathi can clarify if this is a one-off or is there a pattern?
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  7. swathiZ

    swathiZ New IL'ite

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    Thanks orion and tridev. There is a time lapse between the incident to now. I have joined my DH already and we live abroad long term. Its clear to me that the message was not intended to me.

    Though that msg landed my mobile when I was at my parents place, I didnt open my mouth with any one at all. This is issue at my marital family and dont want my parental family to look down on them.

    MIL does not own a mobile at all and its only MIL and FIL living in India rest all in the family are abroad.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  8. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    The sms was intended for her, she did write that her father in law asked her to first send sms and then he immediately replied to her.

    I was confused when she said he has an affair with someone else...I too thought or read as it was sent wrongly, but then if he calls OP asks her to send SMS and replies with that content immediately, the doubt is very less

     
  9. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    So it is a false alarm which Norman raises on "Fireman sam". If indeed it was false good for you... I wrote based on some interpretation which sounded to be real..

     
  10. IndainDad

    IndainDad New IL'ite

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    Tridev, looks like OP is certain the SMS was not intended for her. So the elderly man who brought up the guy who OP thought was good enough for her to marry is not a 'jerk' after all:thumbsup
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010

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