An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo". "A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates", he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?" "Well", said the accountant, "one, I like to watch my money grow; two, once in a while I like to play with my money; three, I like how money feels in my hand; and four - instead of you going out shopping on the weekend, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."