Acceptable duration of a fight?

True. Totally agree.

It also depends on how we carry the argument, the words we speak in anger, everything determines the ease and duration of the make up.

One way to make it easy to make up before dinner is to not let words fly out in anger or even if one loses temper and blurts hurt words, the other should have the sanity to weigh the words.. after all it could be words to just vent out with no literal meaning to it..

Pathetically when a wife or husband adds more severity to the current context by digging up past (dead) issues, the baggage gets too much to make up before dinner. I have seen couples who even after resolving a problem, will hang on to the hurt feelings however.. so any new hurt feelings from the current problem will be an addon to the previous grudge!

In my experience, we make up real quick. Not necessarily after dinner. But atleast by the next day.

One simple trick I follow is to keep mum when I am angry. I divert my anger to some constructive work.. I start cleaning up/ do laundry etc. Half the time my DH will not even know I am upset!! :bonk because as it is I do a lot of cleaning around the house.

When my DH or I attempt to reconcile the first time, the other doesn't miss the bus.
And there is no acceptable duration for a fight.. the sooner they reconcile the better. The longer it takes, things may blow out of proportion.

 

:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl Very funny!

 

Hi to all
It actually depends on the situation. There have been times when we haven't spoken to each other for 3 months and there have also been times when we have patched up after dinner.
But the common thing in both the cases is that I am the only one who has to take up the initiative to patch up after a fight.
Even as I write this ,We are still fighting and haven't spoken to each other for past 20days.
I think in our case the reason might be the age diff which is 8 yrs , so we fail to reach a common ground in every decision.

 

duration of a fight? who wud hve actually thought that this cud also be a point of discussion sumtime...

wen growing up, my mom always said "if ur angry while standing, sit down...if angry while sitting then lie down.
just like emtpy brain is considered as the devil's workshop...anger is consider the devil's pride."
there is a thin line between discussion and argument, but wat ever it may be should be sorted out at the earliest, asdelaying will only add more fuel to the fire. Both the parties involve with dwell over it again and again and will draw their own conclusion and assumptions

as it is said....sooner the better

 

Duration of fight is directly proportional to the distance you have with a person who's fuelling the fight.

generally a husb & wife are very close and hence any fight fuelled by them gets over by dinnertime or max bedtime.

However if the fight is being fuelled by inlaws of either side or other member (cousin /friend/ neighbour) and depending on the distance in hearts between the warring parties .. .the war may go on for ever .

 

No. Several DH/DW fights go on for longer periods.
I'm saying this based on observing multiple families.

You are lucky if your fights get over quickly

 

Yep I was indeed lucky cos we never had disagreements or fights for basic husband wife issue.... and for trivial issues they ended up in a happier night. Our pain point is only MIL. Our relationship was left camatose with her last assault... and he admitted that he's forced not to become normal any sooner.