Are you fine with the status quo ? Are you fine losing your space in your life for 6 months and maybe for ever when they move in permanently with you. If so ...continue the way you have been. If not....tell him how you feel. You have one life too. Your husband is nice to you...that s basic decency. You are nicer to him and his family. You take care of him and his family, go out and earn goodmoney, buy a house for his family, educate his brothers....you deserve more than just' nice' and gifts. If after all this,my husband had called me the second best mom...I would have told him to eff off . No mother deserves to be called second best in her own home. No woman should be made to feel and accept number 2 position in her own home . His mother can be number one in her home . She sacrificed for her kids....everyone does that. You sacrificed for her kids....who does that ? And you are number 2. If he can't be bothered to appreciate,the least he can do is keep his opinions to himself. He should have been told that because he thinks it is a compliment . Why are you so averse to letting him know how you feel? What do you have to lose? He has more to lose if you decide to change your extremely patient ways. He has nothing to lose if he makes small changes that do not make you feel like the third tyre....and everything to gain( your love and affection ). If you don't tell him,he won't know. If you choose to tell him ...do it when his mom is back in her home ...not with you. Do it well before it is time for her to come back. His time on the phone with his mom is his and so is the affection he shows her. But he has no business bumping you off when she visits. She has no business jumping on to your marital bed. Tell him to go out to the living area and enjoy coffee with her. Open the door and tell her he will join her in the living room. Similarly ,bumping you off the front seat of the car everytime she comes is plain disrespectful. Once an adult child is married ,irrespective of gender,the place next to them belongs to the spouse and should not be taken without asking. People should understand that there will be some changes when an adult child gets married and gets a spouse. Same for the marital bed. It belongs to the married couple. Op...men need to be told . If you are fine with the way things are ..then there is no problem. But if this bothers you...then you have to speak up and expect a little bit of disruption in normal life for some time . There are no free lunches. Decide if what you gain is worth what little you lose. Decide who has more to gain and more to lose.