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A wired behaviour of mine... Need suggestions to change it

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Happy11, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    You are doing this because you are able to get away with it. What if the very first time you did it, your husband slapped you back or packed his bag and walked out to stay at a hotel till you apologized. Those who love us are always walking that fine line between understanding and tolerance and discipline and assertiveness. Your husband is being tolerant and understanding. Since this behavior springs from childhood, your parents and brother probably pampered you and let it go. Unfortunately now you are an adult and displaying the same with an outsider (even if husband), he is a new entry into your life and not childhood family.

    Identify what about him provokes you and stay away from it. Dont get into conversations you know will eventually end up making you angry. Dont create and avoid situations that you know can take you down this road. Since it is a persistent habit, by now you must know your triggers. No one else will do this for you, you need to identify your triggers, avoid as many as you can and minimize the rest so that you will not get aggravated and be able to keep your calm.

    Aamrapali
     
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  2. steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    I am glad you are aware of what you are doing. That's half the solution.

    One simple solution: Pinch yourself instead of your hubby or pinch yourself once for every pinch your hubby gets or ask him to pinch you once for every one of your pinches.

    This will go away pretty soon, IMO.
     
  3. sumanrathi

    sumanrathi IL Hall of Fame

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    Not good my friend you should control your anger this is more sensitive issue, I hope you don't have kid till now, after one child birth this type of attitude will give very big impact on you. Pl. PL. Pl. do some meditation or see your face when you are anger through mirror. you will realize.

    because of anger and shouting you never be happy and you can't achieve anything in your life.

    be polite, soft and flexible and reach your needs this is the easiest and simple way.

    Good luck
     
  4. Lisbeth

    Lisbeth New IL'ite

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    If you think you can't control your anger then it's time to consult a Psychiatrist.

    If it was my husband doing the pinching then he will only hear from my lawyer so count yourself lucky that you have got away with it so far.
     
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  5. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    As expected, forum has been nice to you so far with polite comments. Its not weird, its abusive behavior. You may need to attend anger management before things get worse.
     
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  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, what you are doing is physical abuse. It is unpardonable. You might laugh at the term but it is that. No one hurts people they love and respect. If you hurt him, it only shows lack of love. That you cry when you hurt him is laughable. noone os forcing you to hurt him! People are entitled to their opinions. While noone has the right to enforce their opinions on you, it is totally wrong to ask your husband something and then start abusing him when he offers his opinion.

    What you must do is go to anger management asses or counselling NOW. You MUST realise the seriousness of your abusive behaviour and seek appropriate help immediately. There are resources available online for anger management. It take discipline to stick to them. It will take time and will be difficult. i hope you have the self will to follow through.
     
  7. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Good Luck....... :)
     
  8. Lisbeth

    Lisbeth New IL'ite

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    Naksh, my mother used to pinch me when I was a child as a punishment. I can vouch for it being really painful :(
     
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  9. peeks

    peeks Gold IL'ite

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    Maybe there is a deep rooted cause, you might be better off speaking to a psycotherapist, if there is one convenient to your location.
     
  10. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    :( ..........
     
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