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A Wheel's Cry ...

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Metamorphic, Dec 2, 2020.

  1. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Life's irony! It sometimes gives you every beautiful material thing that the heart can wish for but unfortunately when the heart is not in a state to appreciate it.

    This is a soul cry of a woman, walking on the path of marital separation struggling to heal and deal with her wounds and return to her normal self. Longing desperately to see when her heart would start responding to her otherwise blessed season of life filled with love from family & friends and satisfaction from professional & financial success she worked her way up to.

    In response to the guilt caused by people's "pick yourself up", "count your blessings" and "look on the bright side of life" kind of comforting, she mutters to herself:

    --------------------------

    "Potholes, road bumps, mud clumps and loose sand …. In times past, my paths were harder and the journey was tougher ..
    But now the road is smoother, firm and better,

    But I always ponder ……
    Why am I moving slower and constantly needing more power …

    Treading with effort,
    as if I am pulling myself in a dense desert?

    The grass is greener and the air is fresher,
    The sun brighter, the stars prettier,
    Overall, this season of life is far more superior;

    But I wonder,
    Why is my functioning wearier;

    The green grass, fresh air, bright sun and pretty stars no longer beckoning,
    The singing birds not amusing,
    The valleys filled with gullies and cliffs not pleasing;

    Sensitive to a small road bump, shrub and thorn,
    and wondering, am I the one who cut across mountains and hills earlier without being worn?

    Why am I overlooking Life’s pleasures,
    And constantly busy unlocking the weeds and brambles;

    Why am I tired of each new day and shudder what comes my way
    While my true self is not this way,
    Finding it hard to convince myself each day that someday I will be okay;

    Why is the pain still so fresh and I am still here
    as I was back a year,

    “The road is smoother, why this noise?” Exclaims my dear ones with a huge sigh,
    vexed with the grumbling sound I make with every attempt to spry;

    How I wish I explain them that, the road is smoother, firm and better,
    but I am broken and struggling to recover;

    I am a broken wheel, yearning to heal!
    bear with me, while I do this ordeal
    on my terms and in my time.

    I am a broken wheel, yearning to heal."

    --------------------------
     
  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Metamorphic,

    The broken wheel is still seeing the road to recovery with bright Sunshine and the life ahead as green. Once the heart is fixed and emotions slow down, the wheel will fix itself and journey towards the bright future. Wonderful and practical expression of the feelings of someone who traveled together but decided to continue the journey alone.
     
    Metamorphic likes this.
  3. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Thank You Sir!
     
  4. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Metamorphic ,

    It is indeed a very touching post. Truth be told, I was hesitant to repsond right away when you posted for I didnot/do not know if you were penning your thoughts or thoughts of someone you know!

    Either ways, a broken wheel yearning to heal will also heal - just allow those helping hands to hold you! Your username says it all - be it the rock that has undergone transformation by heat, pressure, or a living things goingthrough metamorphosis, there is that bueaty ready to shine through, of ocurse on your terms and in your time.

    Best wishes and many hugs your way!
     
    Metamorphic likes this.
  5. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you Srama!

    It was my own journey around 5 years ago. I've been there.

    All is well now with life.

    A few days ago, I was going through my diary and found this piece of memory. So, posted it thinking it might touch someone who is going through a similar journey, because sometimes validation of our pain and the fact that we are not alone itself is comforting.

    Thank you very much for your kind words.
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Metamorphic,

    This explains your absence for so long. Missed your posts here. Welcome back.

    Am glad you have succeeded in forging ahead, leaving the toughest times behind you. Yes, healing takes time and we can only do it at our own pace. Nobody can share or understand the grief of another enough to be non-judgmental about it.

    Best wishes,
     
    Yumna and Metamorphic like this.
  7. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you very much @satchitananda for your kind words ... how right is your last statement. Agree completely.

    A couple of days ago I happen to visit an old thread started by you and wondered about your frequency here and now, I found this post from you. What a sweet coincidence this is ..!!
     
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  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    There you go! Synchronicity at work! Yes, I too have been off IL for a while now - phases, I guess, we all go through. I do hope we see many of the old members and friends return to the fold soon.
     
    Thyagarajan, Yumna and Metamorphic like this.

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