A Visit To My Doctor Again

A visit to my Doctor again!

Last evening, I visited my Doctor for a periodical check up of my system. Being a well known geriatrician there was a crowd waiting for his darshan and the receptionist told me that I had to wait for a while. After going through all the magazines kept for the use of waiting patients, I was finally shown in. We exchanged our greetings and I sat down gingerly in the tricky revolving stool. That seat was designed for the quarter of me and I had to take great care to ensure that I sat on it well balanced lest it should topple me. I have this habit of turning the seat right and left while talking to the Doctor. He normally wouldn’t mind my doing so but this time he was a bit irritated. ‘Will you sit quietly?’ he asked me meaning that I should sit still. I obeyed his command and started telling him about my health issues.

He pushed a typed sheet of paper in front of me and asked me if I had any issue other than those shown in the list. I went through the list carefully and found it to be quite comprehensive. The list had almost all my problems and I could not find any problem in it that I did not have. ‘I have prepared this list to make our job easier’ he explained to me and added that if I did not have any problem other than those listed, I was quite normal. He explained to me that all the problems shown in the list were mandatory for my age. It meant that I had lived my life well, he added smilingly. I went through the list again and told the Doctor that I had almost all the problems. ‘Then you are fit as a fiddle’, he said and congratulated me.

He probed my heart with a sick looking stethoscope asking me to take a deep breath. His face showed a very satisfied look and he told me that the missed beats were well within the normal limit. He seemed to imply that I could well afford to miss a few more beats! He went on to check my BP and pumped enough air into it to choke my arm. He released the air slowly to the great relief of my arm and said that it was perfect for my age. When I asked him about the feeling of heaviness in my legs, he said that it would get resolved if I reduced my weight by at least 20kg.

He asked me if I had any other problem. I told him that I was not able to lift my left hand to the maximum extent. He asked me if I could lift my right hand fully. When I told him yes, he asked me why I wanted to lift both my hands. Only helpless men throw up both their hands, he told me and added that life could be well managed with one fully operational hand. He said that he could give me a name for the problem of my left hand but knowing the name was not going to help me left my left hand. ‘Of course not’, I agreed heartily.

As I was preparing to leave, he asked me why I was growing a beard. ‘You look like the helpless husband of a villainous wife in a TV serial’, he laughed. I told him I grew it for convenience. I agree with you, he said. ‘These days with all the unisex apparels, it would be difficult to make out a man from a woman’ he agreed. So saying, he ran his fingers on his clean shaven face. He appeared quite pensive as he did so!

I asked him when I should see him next. He handed over the list of geriatric ailments to me and told me that I needed to see him only when I get something that was not in the list. I asked him if he might enlarge the list in future. ‘I’ll decide on that after I see you next’, he replied.
!(MPS)

 

Satchi
In the words of Kamalji, that reply was as fast as only you can give! Thank you for all the good words.

This is an example of 'fact and fiction'. My visit to the Doc was true, our conversation has some masala added!
Doctors have a great sense of humour but many of us mist it because they give it to us with a wry face. In other words, instead of giving us a sugar coated pill, they give us some chemical coated sugar!

 

My dear Viji

Very true Viji. The other half will get salved if we don't get scared of him and communicate with him in equal gaiety. I know some doctors who appear formidable. They apply the stethoscope and purse their lips with a grave look making you feel that you have some severe problem. I have seen patients who go to them for a mere flu come back totally depressed. I avoid such Doctors
Sri

 

@signature
Dear signature
That's a very unique ID! I see that you have joined this great community just about three weeks back. I extend a hearty welcome to you. I do hope that you will be regular in your communications.
Coming to the Doctor issue, your grandpa represents the quintessence of geriatric patients. I too feel depressed at times about my pains and problems and when the Doctor asks me about my health, I tell him I have never been better. Then starts our crazy chat. A visit to the Doctor is great fun. I totally enjoy it.
Sri

 

@Viswamitra
My dear Viswa
You are a bad boy. You came all the way to India but never bothered to visit me. But knowing the solemnity of your visit, I forgave you.

What a hilarious expression! That is totally new. Never heard such an expression before. I must share it with my Doctor in my next visit. In fact, the list he gave was quite comprehensive and I had no choice but to laugh it off.

On target again! I too used to claim ownership of some problems like the monthly pain of an annoying nature in the second toe of me left foot. When I told him about it, he pointed to item 36 on his list!
My problem is not with the Doctor anymore but with my physiotherapist. I have problem with moving my left hand freely after an attack of herpes. The physio treats the hand like a sugarcane in the hands of a juicewallah ! He stretched my hand in all directions as if he was trying to wrench it off my shoulder.
I am rather nervous about this eye dilation thing. The nurse will not stop applying the solution until our eyeballs attain the size of a cricket ball! In fact. I go to the specs shop these days and have my eyes checked by the quack there.
My cardiologist will have love and affection oozing out of every pore in his body when you go to him and if a phone call comes when he is checking us, he will perform a 'rudhra thandavam'!

Oh yeah. I am quite familiar with it. I have seen it in many TV serials.
Sri