A very Grave Matter

A Very Grave Matter



When Hindus die, they are burnt, gone in the wind literally. For Muslims and Christians and may be a few other communities, they bury their dead, in graves.


Now with the shortages of Graves, this is turning out to be a “Grave “ Matter. There is simply no land available . So where do the dead go ? When u don’t have a grave to rest, can u R I P, that is rest in peace ?


This is London

Cemeteries are so full that people are being buried in former cemetery car parks. The findings have led to calls for ministers to introduce laws allowing graves to be reused.
Dr Julie Rugg, of the Cemetery Research Group at the University of York, said: “Families want to be buried together, but there’s no guarantee that burial will remain local, or even available at all in some areas.”

India is no better , rather worse.


A few days back ic times reported that Asia’s biggest Christian Burial Ground in Central Mumbai’s Sewri raised rates of permenant graves to Rs. 50,000/-, a staggering 150% jump.


The Sewri ground Is just left with just 5 acres of open space out of 40 acres. They are planning for temporary graves and not permanent ones. Muslims too are facing the same problems. Marine lines Sonapur kabristan spread over 7.50 acres isn’t allocating family graves, as it used to earlier.


Look at this report, so sad really

MUMBAI: The remains of Hindi cinema's finest stalwarts including Madhubala, Mohammed Rafi, Naushad and Sahir Ludhianvi have been disposed of and their tombs demolished to make space for new bodies. Authorities manning the Juhu Muslim cemetery where they are interred say they were forced to take this step, and that it is in consonance with Islamic law.

Rafi, Madhubala don't rest in peace here - Times Of India


A “ Grave” problem indeed. Around 5 years back I had met Michel Pinto, the famous undertaker, who had done the bodies of Rajiv Gandhi, and Mother Teressa himself with his team. It is his family business to bury the dead.


He was telling me some things interesting. The grave is given for 18 months. After that they have to go, take out the remains, that is the bones, and put them in a box, and many dispose them off in a river etc, or some put them in a box and put it in the niche of a church, which charges some money for it.

So when they go to take out the bones, twice he found, that the body had turned upside down, mean the body was put face up, and now they found the body face down, meaning the guy was alive when buried, and woke up later, but he was deep down and no one would hear him. Twice it happened with his clients.


So it seems some have but bells near the grave, with the rope in the corpse’s hand, so that in case he comes alive he can pull the rope, and people will come running to save him.


Another time, he narrated a strange case. A client told him to pick up a relatives body from a hospital morgue, he was sick for long and died in the hospital. As they brought him first to his office, to bath and dress up the body, the guy got alive, and asked filmi style, Where am I , for heavan’s sake !!!


And he told me they have to bathe and dress up the body too. They charge like 400 or so, they put on the best suit of the deceased, shave him also, and make him look like he is going to a party. Ladies are puton makeup. Their favourite lipstick etc. sports shoes wont do, pure leather shoes, and good quality ones. And these days they are douing hindu bodies too, and they know what sindhis want, what marwaris want and so on. I found his charges very reasonable.

For mother teressa, who expired in Calcutta, the call came to him for the vatician. I said u have ladies too in thisbusiness, he said no just males, so we told the nuns of Mother teressa, to be present when they bathed the body etc.


And they have to inject the body with chemicals, to keep it fresh for weeks so that dignitaries can come and pay their respects. And the liquid that they inject is a secret formula that they have invented and don’t tell anyone, the first part to spoil is the brain, then the stomach etc, so they inject it in that manner. That costs good money he said. And these days u don’t need ice, they have air conditioned cubicles, which they hire out to u, glass ones, where the visitors can see the body, and it does not spoil fast, plus they bathe and make it decent looking and presentable.


Now it seems many Christians are now loving the hindu style of cremation, where u are burned, and where u wont come back again. And who knows with property prices going haywire, many want a permanent solution eh ! perhaps this sone would be apt in this case “ Jo chala gaya usse bhool ja ~~



Well one could soon have bunkers, and milti storied graves. And Pinto has some of the best advertising that I have seen sicne childhood, some of their ads are like

Sign outside their office in Mahim, Mumbai, DEAD CENTRE OF TOWN

Another one is WE ARE THE LAST PERSONS TO LET U DOWN


I POSTED THE BLOG THEN IN 08 THIS BLOG IS A MIXTURE OF THAT , AND NOW WHAT CAME IN THE PAPERS A FEW DAYS BACK.


Cheer up friends , even death is interesting.


KAMAL MAHTANI




Height Of Fashion:
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1 Year Old Baby Telling Mom:
''Mom HUGGIES Zara Neeche Bandhna..
Low waist wala Look aana chahiye.."


What is a Pizza
Awesome answer:
A Pizza�� is just a Paratha that went abroad for higher education !




Generation Gap -->
My Dad used to walk 20 minutes to save 20 Rs ..
I spend 20 Rs to save 20 minutes !!

 

Dear Viji sis,

Thank u, danny pinto the undertaker , is a damn humorous chap, and no one will know that he deals in this business.