A typical case study!

Cheeniya · Nov 10, 2007

Varloo said: ↑

Dear Cheeniya,
I can never agree about passing the buck. My mother used me as a punching bag of sort in my childhood, I was one who could not talk back to her. I know how painful it is. My husband is a very hot tempered person and he always looks up for someone to be blamed for whatever goes wrong and the obvious target is me and my son. But son being his blood, its me who is the chosen one.
If I take out on my son, what could he do? Whenever I am sure situations now, I just leave the place and think that I am not accepting the words and so they go back to my hubby. That way I keep myself from getting hurt. But I tell you, I will never vent out my anger to another person, I always keep mum when I am angry to avoid an outburst. This way I do not have to regret my words later.
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Dear Varloo
You seem to be a staunch follower of Valluvar's sterling advice,
Yaagaavaaraayinum naa kaakka kaavaakkaal
Sogaappar sollizhukku pattu!
A very sensible thing to do if you ask me!
I dont know the origin of the word 'buck' in the famous phrase 'passing the buck'. Buck in colloquial lingo means money and who would like to pass it?
Sri

Kamalji · Nov 12, 2007

Sri,

Poor bloggers.Yes this is annonomous here on blogs.But u have an advantage.You dont have a photo pasted on yr site, bit i do have it on my other site, so i dont have the libnerty that u have.HAHA.

Good one.I agree with u , that if a day starts lousy it stays that way.In that case, i just leave my office and while away my time in my friend's showroom, keep the mobile off, and / or go to a mall and eye the pretty females around.When i am cooled down, i truedge back home.

That was quiote a ride u took us Ilits aroune, th e scootie, auto,bus and boss.HAHA.Regards.kamal

Cheeniya · Nov 12, 2007

Kamalji said: ↑

Sri,

Poor bloggers.Yes this is annonomous here on blogs.But u have an advantage.You dont have a photo pasted on yr site, bit i do have it on my other site, so i dont have the libnerty that u have.HAHA.

Good one.I agree with u , that if a day starts lousy it stays that way.In that case, i just leave my office and while away my time in my friend's showroom, keep the mobile off, and / or go to a mall and eye the pretty females around.When i am cooled down, i truedge back home.

That was quiote a ride u took us Ilits aroune, th e scootie, auto,bus and boss.HAHA.Regards.kamal
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Dear Kamal
Whenever I get agitated or feel depressed, I follow the much recommended course of watching fish swimming around without a care in the world. Watching pretty females increases my tension or depression because they dont watch me back!
Sri

Viswamitra · Mar 8, 2012

It is interesting that you are diagonally opposite to my personality. I become extremely nice to people when I have a bad day because of the very same reasons you had mentioned. I knew that if I said anything bad to anyone that day, I would be getting back twice as much. But I do have issues when the day was going good. Because I feel that I am on top of the world, I get carried away by that wonderful day.

When you are the punching bag chosen for the day for others to test their strength, we need to receive them graciously. Our Ever Growing Organism (EGO) will be tarnished by this. However, if we respond to helpless people for the suffering that we went through in the hands of the few, we allow the bruised ego to come back with the vengeance. When going is not that good, why not we use it for injuring our ego real bad even if we could not kill it completely?

Viswa

shyamala1234 · Mar 8, 2012

Hi

When we were kids we were asked to write an essay by our teacher....How everything went wrong on a day. We didn't know much about life then...we wrote on the lines of "Getting up late, did not do homework, the teacher punished, in the P.T class someone knocked etc etc. The last sentence was mother prepared a curry that I don't like and forced me to eat it. This is something like that...adult version. But trauma is the same. Everyone has a punch bag...different for different people. But should be careful in selecting the punch bag, we should not get hurt in the process.

Syamala

iyerviji · Mar 10, 2012

My dear Anna

Excellent case study. True if the day starts bad the whole day is bad. My dh is also gets angry and sometimes I am the target. Usually I am very careful and see that he does not get angry. Its my fault also I ask him some silly questions and he shouts. But after sometime he will forget that he had shouted. I dont argue with him when he gets angry because I know it will only increase his anger. When I was in teens I used to get angry sometimes but after marriage I dont get angry much

Cheeniya · Mar 11, 2012

Dear Viswa
I can imagine the great trouble Newton might have taken to come out with his classy law that every action has an equal and opposite reaction and it breaks my heart to prove him wrong. I am all for following your advice but I already have a highly cluttered mind with a lot of unfinished agenda. So I avoid adding to it which is already bursting at the seams. So I spend it where it cannot hurt me further!

As far as my EGO is concerned, I have a working arrangement with it. I'll never do anything to countenance it and it will not bother about my decisions.
Sri

Cheeniya · Mar 11, 2012

Dear shyamala
You are right about the punchbag. If it is going to be filled with nails and knives, we are sure to hurt ourselves. It should be one that gives us the satisfaction of hitting back without bruising our knuckles further! As we progress through life, we face different kinds of problems at every stage which at that point in time could be worrisome and even traumatic. When I think of the problems which I faced when I was twenty, I just smile but at that time, it looked like the end of the world for me! If I talk about the senile version now, even you would laugh at it saying 'Oh, these old guys!'
Sri

Cheeniya · Mar 11, 2012

Dear Viji
I saw a picture of you and your DH at Satchi's place and he appears like a man who would not say boo to a lamb! He looks so soft and calm. I find it hard to believe that he could ever get angry. There is nothing wrong in getting angry or upset occasionally. It is the only way to test if our emotions are alive and kicking. Have you seen the pictures of rows and rows of Jews marching to their concentration camps? You would not find any expression in any of those faces. Get angry once in a way Viji. Give your emotions a chance to come alive!
Sri

iyerviji · Mar 12, 2012

My dear Anna

True my husband is a soft and calm person only but if something goes wrong he gets angry. I dont remember last when I got angry.

Get angry once in a way Viji. Give your emotions a chance to come alive!
Ya I will