A typical case study!

Cheeniya · Nov 2, 2007

Malathijagan said: ↑

Cheeniya sir,
Back with a bang, this time your poor wife has been the cause of your misfortunes of the days happenings! The problem with men is they start the stone rolling and it so happens that the stone hits the wife first and a chain reaction starts! Ultimately the men blame the wives for their bad day out! And in the end of all, they never accept that they were the one who started the stone rolling and look for other victims to spend all their pent up fury! In my house, the poor driver bears the brunt of my hubby's fury! How I wish men learnt to make peace with the actual boss of the house. In this matter the youth of the present gen. are smart.They know the meaning of total surrender! And PEACE is theirs for a life time!
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Dear Malathi
From time immemorial 'Saranagathi' has always helped the cause of Peace. It works the same way both before the Almighty of the Universe and the almighty of our houses! Blaming someone is a sign of weakness. No one is a failure until he starts blaming somebody else!
I am fully with you on this.
Sri

Tamildownunder · Nov 2, 2007

Dear Cheeniya sir,

Your case study has happened to me several times while I was in Mumbai and BARC. I still remember one particular day which started with the servant maid not turning up and my wife and I had a quarrel over who should do what before leaving for office. I had to wash vessels, get ready the children to school and get ready myself. My wife took the option of cleaning the house and preparing breakfast and lunch. Somehow finally when I got ready, I couldn't take my breakfast,I missed the bus and reached office late. Our Section Head who was strict about punctuality had already put a red mark in my muster. With all these frustrations, I switched on the instrument I was working with and it did not work. I gave vent to my all suppressed anger and banged the instrument saying 'damn'. With my banging, the instrument started working and all my frustrations vanished. I even joked to my colleagues, the instrument is not working on electronics but 'bangonics'.:-D

Regards,

TDU

P.S: My home computer somehow read your post saying that yours was down and it has stopped working sympathetically.:-D This post I am doing from my office computer.

Cheeniya · Nov 2, 2007

Dear TDU
Bangonics is a very innovative word though banging things like scooter, cars, TVs, Radios, Mixies etc into submission is a very old but reliable method. 'Adi udhavara madiri annan thambi udhava mattan' is applicable more to machines than humans!
If I had banged my fellow humans as much as I did to my machines, I would have landed in a padded cell by now!
Sri

umasaras · Nov 2, 2007

Dear cheeniya sir,
One thing in your case study is true. If you start off the day with one bad burst of anger or got up late it carries on and on, though not for a full day as you have suggessted but atleast for an hour or two when everything you do , even if it is in the best interest of others around you.somehow takes a vicious turn and attacks you. For instance, in my attempt to change my son's sour mood while going to school, on a bad day, even if I tell him today it is your favourite breakfast cereal enjoy, he turns back snarls at me and says you just say that so that you can shout at me when i come back from school saying that I don't eat healthy stuff or just says that I know you will give my favourite only when i am late for school so i can't eat it fully. I guess these sort of replies can put you off even more . there are days when you don't want any confrontation and fights and just keep your mouth shut , on those days me keeping quiet would haves turned others otherwise fine day into a tumultuous day and in the end of the day get the blame for their bad day. So I just pray to God even before i go to sleep to give a good start in the morning. Your write up is pretty interesting and made me thinking.
uma

umasaras · Nov 2, 2007

is pretty inDear cheeniya sir,
One thing in your case study is true. If you start off the day with one bad burst of anger or got up late it carries on and on, though not for a full day as you have suggessted but atleast for an hour or two when everything you do , even if it is in the best interest of others around you.somehow takes a vicious turn and attacks you. For instance, in my attempt to change my son's sour mood while going to school, on a bad day, even if I tell him today it is your favourite breakfast cereal enjoy, he turns back snarls at me and says you just say that so that you can shout at me when i come back from school saying that I don't eat healthy stuff or just says that I know you will give my favourite only when i am late for school so i can't eat it fully. I guess these sort of replies can put you off even more . there are days when you don't want any confrontation and fights and just keep your mouth shut , on those days me keeping quiet would haves turned others otherwise fine day into a tumultuous day and in the end of the day get the blame for their bad day. So I just pray to God even before i go to sleep to give a good start in the morning. Your write upteresting and made me thinking.
uma

Cheeniya · Nov 3, 2007

umasaras said: ↑

Dear cheeniya sir,
One thing in your case study is true. If you start off the day with one bad burst of anger or got up late it carries on and on, though not for a full day as you have suggessted but atleast for an hour or two when everything you do , even if it is in the best interest of others around you.somehow takes a vicious turn and attacks you. For instance, in my attempt to change my son's sour mood while going to school, on a bad day, even if I tell him today it is your favourite breakfast cereal enjoy, he turns back snarls at me and says you just say that so that you can shout at me when i come back from school saying that I don't eat healthy stuff or just says that I know you will give my favourite only when i am late for school so i can't eat it fully. I guess these sort of replies can put you off even more . there are days when you don't want any confrontation and fights and just keep your mouth shut , on those days me keeping quiet would haves turned others otherwise fine day into a tumultuous day and in the end of the day get the blame for their bad day. So I just pray to God even before i go to sleep to give a good start in the morning. Your write up is pretty interesting and made me thinking.
uma
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Dear Uma
That's an interesting point you have made there! You are right that on a day which starts on a sour note, everything we do may go awry. You draw flak no matter if you talk back or keep mum. There are occasions when keeping mum may infuriate people more than when you talk back!
As you say, the best thing is to pray for a good start and leave it to God!
Sri

malspie · Nov 3, 2007

Hi Cheeniya,

You have hit a "Six" with this topic. Being surrounded by many "Case Studies" my life was once entering in to the Zone of Boredom. The reasons were countless for that frown and noise and it would make my life miserable always. I am not praising myself, I keep cheering myself up at all times and never throw tantrums for awkward situations. In fact, I have a habit of withdrawing myself and weave a cocoon. I totally agree with your post, its a real 'CASE STUDY".

Cheeniya · Nov 3, 2007

malspie said: ↑

Hi Cheeniya,

You have hit a "Six" with this topic. Being surrounded by many "Case Studies" my life was once entering in to the Zone of Boredom. The reasons were countless for that frown and noise and it would make my life miserable always. I am not praising myself, I keep cheering myself up at all times and never throw tantrums for awkward situations. In fact, I have a habit of withdrawing myself and weave a cocoon. I totally agree with your post, its a real 'CASE STUDY".
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Dear Mals
Thank you for agreeing with my view and in the parameter of Benjamin Disraeli that an agreeable person is one that agreed with him, I find you a very agreeable person! But I am surprised about your donning the role of a cocoon. I always thought after reading your various posts that adverse circumstances brought out the best in you. I can hardly visualise you as a 'withdrawing' type.
Sri

malspie · Nov 3, 2007

Hi Cheeniya,

The "Cocoon" I draw for myself is to find a way out to the situation. I am trying to march out and that too successfully. Its not the sad withdrawal.. And I agree only to the points I want to agree. If not, I reflect my views... You are right, with your views on my. Again i am agreeing!!!!

Varloo · Nov 7, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,
I can never agree about passing the buck. My mother used me as a punching bag of sort in my childhood, I was one who could not talk back to her. I know how painful it is. My husband is a very hot tempered person and he always looks up for someone to be blamed for whatever goes wrong and the obvious target is me and my son. But son being his blood, its me who is the chosen one.
If I take out on my son, what could he do? Whenever I am sure situations now, I just leave the place and think that I am not accepting the words and so they go back to my hubby. That way I keep myself from getting hurt. But I tell you, I will never vent out my anger to another person, I always keep mum when I am angry to avoid an outburst. This way I do not have to regret my words later.