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A Tricky Situation About Wedding

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by thegirlygirl, May 2, 2021.

  1. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    My post was not directed at you @Laks09

    Well its fine, people are free to say as they feel
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2021
    Laks09 likes this.
  2. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    People are like that only. This is the reason we often say "what would people say?" in many Indian languages, as well as Arabic and Swahili, the major African languages too.

    Covid Variants in India has been afflicting younger people these days. Wedding Mela crowding in such a country would be risky, to put it mildly. And the groom and bride in their mid 30's come to one another with no test drives, absolutely no warranties in time or mileage, no covid-protection undercoats, or price discounts.

    It is best to postpone the purchase till after the covid cloud passes, world is a safer place, and airline travels resume. Just like the SARS-1 episode, this too will pass, perhaps it would take a little longer, because so many had got infected, as well as hosted the virus for evolving into new, and more virulent variants.
     
  4. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    This is a red flag .
    When a post is put out on internet we all have different interpretation . Our solutions are based on our understanding.
    It is not like we can give a magic solution to talk to boy's mom to postpone the wedding. If a girl's parent cannot even have a say on this maybe it is time for them to revisit this whole situation. No offense but this is 2021 and during pandemic they cannot say no to this whole wedding in India that means there is something wrong in the power equation. Having a upper hand in marriage decisions is one thing but putting a bunch of people's life is all together different thing. I will call off the wedding if boy's mom won't agree for this. In future if they have kids and if there is similar situation how many times they are going to through this. Maybe setting the boundaries now is better. If anything you are setting wrong expectation. Please speak up now
     
    KashmirFlower and chanchitra like this.
  5. GregoriaBoul

    GregoriaBoul Silver IL'ite

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    A lot of contrasting views. However a family that intimidates you, is a very big red flag.
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    If you think the boy will not entertain mom’s idea and support the girl then the chances are very slim . If anything the guy should have opened his mouth by now . Girl is mixing two independent problems of living alone in new place and finding a partner . If anything girl should return back to new place and resume her job . At least she has a chance to understand the boy better being close to him . Again imo more than the boy’s mom I blame the girl for oking this without thinking about practical difficulties of her family .
     
    thegirlygirl likes this.
  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Who knows who is going to be alive in this pandemic.
    Heard that india is going for a full lock down
    The girl or her parents have to inform the boys side ,they are not going to do the wedding in June.
    Let both of them go back to their jobs and get to know each other better.
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  8. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear members,
    Thank you all for taking out the time to read, analyze and share your viewpoint regarding my post.

    I have got clarity on the situation and am now able to see it with a fair perspective.

    I shall share with you the outcome of the decision, if and when those talks happen

    As for taking time to know the guy better, I think the time for that has gone since the two have already committed to each other.
    The girl does not see any red flag in the guy nor the alliance, except some tiny winy surprising facts that pop up every now and then when the two talk or when she talks with the whole family but I bet that happens with every relation. It can never be perfect for anyone. Even with the guy's family she has a comfortable rapport as of now.

    The whole problem was regarding the wedding itself.
    But I guess seeing the current scenario it would be best for the two to have a civil wedding in their common country involving least travel.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2021
    Laks09 likes this.
  9. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    :roflmao::roflmao::
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  10. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    What do you mean?
    The two are not complete strangers. They have met in person a few times and also talked on the phone over video chat for extended period of time.

    Marriages were arranged like this in the past. Even today when the girl and the guy are in two different continents, the two meet for coffee a few times and then talk the rest on phone or through other mediums.

    This whole 'wait till you get to know each other well' is a very americanized concept and even if it comes with its pros it does not suit all.

    So long as the basic criteria are met, I dont think there is any problem in entering a marital relationship.
    Unless there is some visible red flag like immigration fraud marriage, financial abuse etc.

    Discovering the other person does not like meatballs and spaghetti after marriage is not going to be a deal breaker.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2021

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