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A Tricky Situation About Wedding

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by thegirlygirl, May 2, 2021.

  1. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    this sounds like very fishy situation. not sure about the money part. but i agree , marriage in rush does not sound very apt.

    slow down. unless the girl has any hidden secrets to marry fast, slow down.
     
  2. WannabValerie

    WannabValerie Silver IL'ite

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    Why is everyone in hurry?.. is it because the pair will hit 35 next year?
    They all need to breathe and give some time for covid to finish its course. This is not the time for elaborate marraige plans.. if its a court marraige, then probably it will be ok..
    Else what is the hurry to marry when there is a war-like situation!
     
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  3. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your input.

    Update

    The boy's mother is sending messeges to the girl's mother regarding wedding. Even today when the girl's mother wrote that covid is at its peak, the guy's mother reassured her saying everything will be ok by may end! Don't know what world the boy's mother is living in......

    The boy's side has nothing to prepare for in regards to the wedding, like I wrote in the first post the girl's family is flying to India and arranging each and everything.
    Now the boy's mother and the rest of the family keep asking about how the preparations are going on, travel plans etc.... like they are taking follow up on how they are going to be welcomed and entertained.

    Feeling miserable, really don't know what to do

    The guy's mother is so hyper, she is the one who is in this mad rush to get her son married......

    Should the girl's family ask the boy's to meet for a formal virtual meeting to alter wedding plans? What reasons should they quote for wanting to make alterations to the wedding plans? The current travel restrictions from both the countries? Or the fact that it is risky for them to travel to India in covid?
    It's almost like they are expected to cross all barriers and somehow reach India to marry their daughter and not allowed to site the reasons of covid risk to them, just because it was decided during the meeting that the wedding will take place in India.

    Or should they just wait for may end as the boy's mother suggests and then decide? It is highly unlikely that anybody will be able to safely travel to India in the next three months

    The boy's family is soft spoken but very intimidating..........
    Please help......
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Just have the boy's family read all the odd numbered pages in this thread:
    Current Situation Of Covid-19 In India
     
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  5. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    what is there to help.

    this is not a Coffee date. this is a legal commitment for a life time. if the couple really likes each other, waiting for a year also is not a big deal.

    are you the girl?. or is this a Troll thread with going on and on with replies.

    other than relationship issues , only high level discussion i see is travel, expense. boy mum is crazy getting him married.

    does the girl love the boy. or the boy loves the girl what did the couple decide.

    curious question - you have been engaged in so much about the girl , will you be so engaged if the marriage goes and mum in law turns out to be a crazy controlling person. and girl is now stuck with issues and depression.
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The more the delay in conveying to them, the more the questions.
    In traditional arranged marriages the elders in the girl’s family visit with the boys family and have wedding related discussions. It’s very common to have a lot of back and forth discussions. That’s probably the reason for the messages.

    If the mom isn’t able to convey it, maybe the dad can call the boys dad and suggest pushing the wedding forward to December or whatever month is convenient for the family. There will be push backs but making a case of how hard it is to arrange the wedding and backing away from the June date is the only way this will stop.
     
  7. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    The question is not about the marriage/alliance since the guy and the girl have already decided that they like each other and want to marry each other as written in the original post

    The question is about how to get the two wedded to each other in this pandemic situation involving multiple countries, multiple covid tests required, quarantine rules, and now travel ban.

    Hence the girl said yes to the boy on meeting him after a few times in person and was using this time that they are now in different countries to get to know him better 'as things fall in place' I.e covid situation to get better before they actually wed. But one poster here pointed out that the girl was actually wanting to see other men meanwhile on the pretext of 'things falling in place'. Don't know where she got this idea from.

    Now coming to the original situation, the mother of the boy was not going to wait for covid or anybody's life for her son to get married hence she called and told the girl's mother that she needs some assurance right away or she needs to look for other girls.
    The girl and the guy had already given each other their word. Now what other assurance did she need....

    I guess the best thing would have been to do that.
    Not that she was told not to look, her son told the girl during their next conversation that he will not let his mother look for another girl.

    Life would have been simple if he had moved on, atleast the girl's family would not have this intimidating task of wedding planning in the middle of the peak of this pandemic.....
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2021
  8. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Duplicate
     
  9. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    agreed. but you also need to understand, a bunch of random strangers in internet cannot decide a person's life in a pandemic.
     
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you’ve misconstrued multiple times, my intent wasn’t to say “you intend to look at other men on the side”. When you said I have met this guy only twice and said yes on the second meeting, ie it was a traditional arranged marriage scenario:
    I said maybe you need to rethink this proposal because seems like the above is what you are looking for.
    The intent was not to say you are looking for someone on the side.
    You seemed to suggest you were pushed to agree to this marriage by the boy’s mother because otherwise she would look for another girl and I was only intending to point that out.
    The point was not to berate you but rather tell you to not get pressured into a yes because of external factors like his family wanting the marriage now.
     

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