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A Tricky Situation About Wedding

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by thegirlygirl, May 2, 2021.

  1. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    What @Needtobestrong said.
    Have a register marraige in a convinient/safe place and then have a grand wedding wherever when this all is finished.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
    thegirlygirl likes this.
  2. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    The boy's mother will agree for the wedding to happen in common country
    She is actually very desperate for the wedding to take place anyhow.
    She is the one who initiated this whole wedding thing amidst the pandemic,the guy and the girl were ok just chatting and connecting over the phone while having committed to each other and waiting for the situation to get better
    But I guess she thought her son is 'wasting away' so came up with a destination wedding idea and even started throwing in demands like sangeet etc
    Girl's family was also surprised and wondering how they will move about in corona to arrange all these extra events....
     
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  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    This whole thing sounds fishy. The mother of the "BOY" knows some thing (like the "boy" is WAY past his use-by date) that might put a kibosh on the whole show, if delayed.
    The girl's parents should postpone the wedding, and demand money payment from the "boy"'s family, like 10 lakhs per day, to speed up the wedding to the date they want.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    First option....postpone the wedding for a few months....not worth the risk to anyone.

    Second option....choose the option of least travel for least people...that seems to be the would be bride going to the country with PR to be with the groom. Have a registered wedding with video sharing to both families.

    If the wedding is postponed,use the time to get to know each other better and iron out the issues regarding the wedding and the finances involved for the two families.

    If the couple want a simple wedding ,then the second option is good. Less drama and money involved.

    If they want a typical wedding,then wait some months and have it all instead of a ' compromised one'.
     
  5. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Read all the answers,

    One common view that has been shared is either the girl goes to the common country and marries otherwise postpone altogether, but none favour the boy's family travelling to the girl's country. It seems it's her problem that her family decided years back that they would move out of india and settle elsewhere so it's now upto them how they make themselves available in india for the wedding and going by the tone, for any future events/situations that arise regarding this couple.

    Now coming to the present situation, the boy's family continuously follow up with the girls asking them about their travel plans to india, now after the flights have cancelled even ask until when they have postponed since wedding is in last week of june.
    Not even once did they advise the girl's family to stay put. Not even the guy!!
    Counts in her extended family are on the rise and not just that deaths too

    One more point, they( boy's family) have decided that they will take the decision regarding the wedding in end of may. The wedding is in june end
    Is it fair to the selfish girl's family that they are to wait for just one month from the wedding until the decision is taken. The selfish girl and her selfish family need to travel to india and also make arrangements for the whole wedding.
    It could be easy for the poor boy's family to wait since they only have to sit in their homes with AC on and at most board a train to the girl's city.

    So all these suggestions given by you all for alterations to the original plan cannot be taken till 31st may.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    The first suggestion is given looking at the global pandemic.
    Both families moving around to any corner of the world is stupid and totally suicidal at this time .

    The girl's family do not have to do anything they don't want to . There is no need to bend over backwards.
    Talk to the guys family and put their points across instead of agreeing .

    If the marrige has to be in India( post pandemic)...then ask them to organise as they are local and ask them to split the cost.
    If the marriage has to happen in Africa then the girl's family in Africa should organise and split the cost.

    If the girl's side does not want a wedding during pandemic,why can't they put their foot down and say they won't do it and postpone till after pandemic.

    The girl's side cannot keep accepting whatever suggestion comes from the guys mother and then complain .

    Just put the foot down .

    I am sure most people here think the people concerned are all being ignorant to even think about a normal wedding in such troubled times. Wedding is not a necessity in 2021....life should be more important .
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Well then do it in the common country. Whoever can attend the wedding there, let them.
    What is the problem then?
     
  8. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Very simply and very well put.
    Thank you for the suggestion.
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  9. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    There is no way to safely conduct this wedding in June if the venue is India. The bride’s family needs to be assertive where they need to be. I would diplomatically suggest we push it forward because the venue, food, musicians and all other allied services need to be postponed, coordinated and booked for a later date. Waiting till end of the month means foregoing some desirable dates later because all families in this situation will be doing that and blocking the venue and service providers.
     
  10. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi OP, I read in one of your posts that the girl and guy have met just 2 times. I honestly feel that is very little time to know someone. Everyone tends to put their best foot forwards in the first 4-5 meetings. It is only after you meet them for more time that the person gets comfortable and the real person comes out. Everything about the marriage talks since then seems to be other people pushing forward the marriage to happen. It just seems too rush rush. You (or the girl) is also discovering more about the guy through these marriage talks I bet. My advice would be to take some more time to get to know the guy to see if he is really right.
     

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