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A Thread About A Thread That Will Not Be Posted

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    This is a thread about a thread that will not be posted.. At least it will not be written and posted for the time being. Too bad.A lot of ideas on it had flooded my mind.

    It all began as my wife started making arrangements for leaving the town due to some work that required her absence from Delhi for at least 20 days. There was no question of me or my daughter leaving with her as the girl had her classe. So I was to remain struck in Delhi.

    Lot of ideas for a thread on what I would do while she was out started knocking my head.(Now, now , don't start licking your chops for some hot, titillating stuff. I only meant what I would do in the kitchen when she would leave on her trip .

    i think such ideas knocked the heads of my wife and some interfering close relatives as well. Does my daughter have to suffer my cooking the pesky kin must have wondered. So I started getting phone calls from near and dear ones hiding under a sheepskin of sympathy their wolfish gloating over my supposed plight.

    "What are you going to do about food?" asked one such worthy.

    "Eat it" I snapped.

    "But how are you going to get the food.?Order from a takeaway or something?" persisted the irksome female kin.

    "I have made arrangements with Indian Air Force to airdrop food parcels convincing them that there is a flood on" i quipped.and banged down the receiver.. Never have I had such a great urge to strangle Alexander Graham Bell for inventing the telephone.

    Another pesky relative (On second thoughts I find the adjective 'pesky' superfluous when it comes to my relatives. It is like saying 'corrupt' politicians. That is understood isn't it?.) met me personally went about the matter in what she thought was a diplomatic manner. "I know a Tamilian lady," she began.

    "I know quite a lot of them and some of them are quite pretty. But there is no question of allowing any of them into my house when the DW is away. It would give rise to wrong ideas and gossip" I said.

    "No no the lady is 60 -plus and is a very good cook, " she said.

    "And I know a man who is an excellent cook," I said "Me.". She retreated shaking her head mournfully probably thinking about the cruel fate that was likely to condemn my daughter into eating my food. .

    Now both me and my daughter are pretty good cooks. But while I am more into the breakfast lunch and dinner routine she is more into baking cakes, pastries and tarts. But cooking the daily meals so far has not been her cup of tea.

    But still the DW and daughter were worried. While they both recognized my culinary abilities, they also knew that I, an unpredictable person even otherwise am at my unpredictable best in the kitchen. At times my family and relative suspect that in the kitchen I morph into a mad scientist who uses homo sapiens as guinea pigs for his cruel culinary experiments. For me innovation is the name of the game but for my kith and kin that word is synonymous with. unethical human trials.

    So as the date of departure approached, my wife tried to bind me to certain promises. She first of all,, told me to pledge not to add Rooh Afzah or Khus syrup to the rasam. I, instead swore that I would not make rasam at all. There was reason for my wife's concern. I once made a Rooh Afzah syrup based gravy for potato curry.

    Every second and minute, she urged me to play it safe in the kitchen and told me that the keyword was culinary conservatism. 'Make known dishes in known manner. You will not be cooking for a cookery show'. I meekly nodded my head in obedience. But still she kept giving me worried looks. She knew that a sinister kitchen-experimenting Mr.Hyde lurked inside this meek Dr.Jekyll and anytime he could burst forth.

    But sorry for the anti-climax folks. All her hammering the virtues of kitchen conservatism went waste. She had to cancel her trip for some reason or other.

    So dear fellow ILites, the thread about what I did while she was out will not be written( In case my earlier warning asking you not to lick your chops has not penetrated your head here is it again 'doing' here only means what I would do IN THE .KITCHEN).

    So wish me luck the next time she leaves the town.
     
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  2. APassionateOne

    APassionateOne New IL'ite

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    Ha..ha..ha..Balaji, your comical writings made my day a lil' brighter I should say. Congrats to your wife and daughter I(especially to your daughter, now that she is saved from all the daddy's delicacies).

    But ..don't loose heart. Remind anyone who has any inkling of doubt about your cooking, that all the best cooks/chefs from very old days to the modern age are all MEN.
     
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah five star hotel kitchens are almost male bastions and very few women chefs have breached it. All world famous chefs are men..But if I tell that to those who have reservations about my cooking they'd say that all domestic kitchens are female bastions!
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,

    Yaar i have two maids who look after the kitchen department.So harsha is not worruied on the food part.and she is not afraid on the other part as well :biglaugh

    Now ehn u come to jaipur, we will both paint the town red, and /or u can cook for me.and i can send the maids onleave:rotfl

    Hilarious man, i am sure u look likle a murderer with a knife in the hand eh ! HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     
  5. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    WOW ! talk about being innovative? rooh afza based gravy?

    of course,by now I already know that you are a GREAT cook.but I am a little curious to know If you also do the cleaning up of the kitchen after such exotic recipes?
     
  6. sujathaumakanth

    sujathaumakanth Bronze IL'ite

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    An enjoyable post as usual, Balajee :))

    A pity we could not read the post that never got written - would have enjoyed the words that would have narrated humorously your reign of the kitchen........yeah some day :)

    In the meantime, enjoy your wife's presence and cooking !!!

    Have a nice day,
    Sujatha
     
  7. ushkrish

    ushkrish New IL'ite

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    hi balajee
    ha ha ha wonderful. that rooh afza based gravy - can you let us know how you made it so that we can also try our ha nds on it. by the way i have a recipe based on aavakkai oorugai mixed with tomato jam with pavakkai ketchup. i will let you know this when next time your dw is out of town.:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  8. Soldier

    Soldier Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Balaji,

    Your caption reminded me of the thread `The Post that wasn't' by one of our wonderful writers here - Tubelight @ Lakshmi. It is a must read Sir!

    Your post as usual was funfilled. So sad becos the trip was cancelled we lost an opportunity to read of your `would have been posts'!!!!!!!! Anyways, now we are here enjoying this thread too.

    Rooh Afza based gravy! cannot just imagine it. Don't tell me ur daughter enjoys this gravy! We must taste your cooking only then can we accept your innovative lovely cooking!!!

    Wish you good luck next time so that you don't again have to write about what could not be written!!!!

    Lovely! I always enjoy reading your posts.
     
  9. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Balajee,
    Mmm...we missed the post that had to be posted...you also missed an opportunity to use your innovative ideas..
    Enjoyed the way you explained the telephone conversations/concerns of the relatives.

    sriniketan
     
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, two maids and she is not afraid of the other part!! Then you must really be a closet monogamist! All the naughty stuff you write is then just must be only words and there are no deeds on that front.
     

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