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A struggle to be superwoman and a burn out!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shanvy, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Finest Blog Winner - First Weekly Pick of August 2011

    She feels she has lost the energy to move ahead. She suddenly has lost the direction she wants to take, every aspect of a very glorified life looks so hazy and to her best knowledge nothing is wrong yet something is wrong.

    She talks to one of her friends and she tells her may be you are depressed, and she goes around looking for the meaning of the word depression and understands that she is not, though her friend and family refuse to accept it, stating that she is, based on her activities and mood swings.

    Well it took her a month to understand that she was reaching suffering from burn out, and it was difficult to explain to people that she was not depressed but burnt out. Well people did tell her both were the same with two different names.

    It took her some time to understand that nobody expects her to be a perfectionist. It is ok to burn the toast once in a while, to leave the laundry basket full. It is ok to ask her daughter to start the laundry or pick up the groceries once a while. It is ok to take a book and laze out the whole afternoon without planning for the next day. It is ok to pay the bill late once a while

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    Well it looks like the after effects of the super woman syndrome did finally catch up with her . Well being a woman of the modern world I am sure every one of you is aware of this syndrome. To the ignorant it is the constant struggle to be perfect, by setting very high standards for themselves, which are sometimes not possible. It not only starts with high standards, but also with the measuring of their self worth with the terms of success and accompanying fringes. Does it make her happy, definitely not, she again adds on a new goal..And the never ending loop causes more stress and strain in self and her family.
    A woman performs in many roles like worker, wife, mother, friend , homemaker, teacher, and any other role to add to this. The problem arises when she is doing very well in one and not able to cope with the other, and the subsequent struggle to excel in all, or the ways she goes about trying to make it work. The struggle to be the perfect wife, perfect daughter, the perfect sister, perfect mother… definitely takes a toll and many of us go about not understanding the cause until something happens. Somebody put it so well "The hand that rocks the cradle also cradles the phone, sweeps the floor, writes memos, and meets deadlines."
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    Sometimes, she needs to understand there is more to life, then pleasing everybody, to be the good girl that everybody wants her to be, and most important of all, the inability to say no when she should, and the skewed thinking that realizing impossible goals is a proof of achievement in life.
    Sometimes, she needs to understand, that it is ok to not be perfect, it is ok to delegate, ask for help. To take off shouldering the burden.
    In the quest of being the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect…… I nearly sabotaged my SELF because of the burn-out, (Well that definitely explains my interest in wabi- sabi isn’t it.) I took a rain check to understand and realize that if I am not happy and healthy, I cannot be the positive force that is deemed pillar of strength of my family..Well who said a homemaker cannot suffer from a superwoman syndrome.
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    I took the conscious effort to walk away from the struggle..well atleast for the time being.. Sometimes we need to literally fall on our face in order to wake up and falling is not a weakness, it is a prelude to waking up fresh.
    Interestingly a new survey says that women don this cape (superwoman) even as young as 13. The struggle to have a good score, the good looks, better relationships has led to more emotional problems, eating disorders. They want to look like Sania mirza, Paris Hilton, Kareena..and they tend to forget that these celebrities have hoard of help.
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    Are you trying too hard to be superwoman??



    Picture courtesy: google
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  2. sreemanavaneeth

    sreemanavaneeth Gold IL'ite

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    Hai Shanvy,

    Good Evening. Super MOM now a days mothers should be super only. Every minute we are running with tension and we should be well balanced to handle all the situation.To burn out our stress and our tension we being a mom should analyse our positive power which will surely lead us to become more active. I liked the below line highlighted by you in this blog. You are a superwoman only and well picturised this blog with your beautiful writeup.:thumbsup
    I took a rain check to understand and realize that if I am not happy and healthy, I cannot be the positive force that is deemed pillar of strength of my family..Well who said a homemaker cannot suffer from a superwoman syndrome
     
  3. archana2008

    archana2008 Gold IL'ite

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    Shanvy, So nicely written. I tried to be supermom, super women and was exhausted n sick. with toddler and full time job, i let go few things. And just enjoying each day and accepting life as it comes :) I tried too hard to be a superwomen and failed. But i enjoy what i am now than what i was trying to be :) Very good writeup.
     
  4. hridhaya

    hridhaya Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shanvy,
    your blog is too good and the cartoons are so funny. LOL.

    The irony is that I am not a super mom at all. I cannot feel tensed like many other moms when the kid does not eat/sleep or keep well. About family responsibilities, I am trying to give a hand to my husband lately. I need to get better with multitasking.

    When you get some time, please tell us how you acquired the qualities of super mom. Also I wanted to know what your favorite genre and books have been. Could you please share?
     
  5. rmpriya

    rmpriya IL Hall of Fame

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    Well said :
    "I took a rain check to understand and realize that if I am not happy and healthy, I cannot be the positive force that is deemed pillar of strength of my family"
     
  6. shakambari

    shakambari Platinum IL'ite

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    Very well written,Shanti...
    I agree with every single word of what you say...
    I know....at one stage-I have yelled at my family ...I am human ,you know...I am not Windows....Just one at a time ....at that time ,the word multitasking falied to flash across my mind!
     
  7. nihasvin

    nihasvin Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Shanvy,Nice one Which depicts my life :rotfl Well,i tried to be a superwoman for a week or 10 days and after that bonk! :bang the routine breaks(valid reasons though and it happens always after a week or 10) and everything will be loose out of hell :drowning..Then superwoman will become a crazywoman Witsend vicious cycle continues...
     
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Shanthi

    Absoultely wonderful! what else can I say when you have put every word in here...and also the fears and worries and the constant nagging thoughts and trials we women put ourselves in......... well written or should I say well explained :)

    though i am late here...congratulations on the finest blog winner...specially for this blog
     
  9. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    hey shanvy,

    nice one there, well very true women strive a lot to prove their perfection in every field and never consider about themselves, well its ok to to say no wen u cant do something and its ok to be lazy at times :) after all we are human beings
     
  10. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Nicely summed it up, Shanthi. Loved the pics you added to make it even more captivating read.

    I was trying to be a super woman and in that process lost sight of my goals in life. Got frustrated that i my life time abmition is slipping away. I stopped and reassessed my goals.. Now i am doing what i wanted to do since quite sometime.. Higher studies.. Yipee!!
     

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