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A strange life

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by GirlyGirl, Sep 29, 2015.

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  1. Sep 30, 2015 #11
    Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    As my father had responsibility of my other cousins we never went to good schools. My sisters studied in government schools and l fought with my parents and went to a private school. I used my and my sisters’ piggybank money to pay the donation, my father wasn’t worried about anything. He didn’t even know exactly to which schools we were going

    The above statement is enough to describe her father he was a person who did not care.

    When a spouse behaves like this do we tolerate this ? I had said in my first post a child getting abused is the worst form of abuse, because you are in a state of helplessness.
     
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    #11
  2. Sep 30, 2015 #12
    coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    @minion , even I feel that there is no abuse substance in op post....not doing sufficient or not doing as par ur standard is not abuse....
    Her parents might have failed to understand her emotional need but they didn't abuse her....

    Moreover , no child who was abused, wants to have parents with him / her in vulnerable state....op wants to have her parents with her in pregnancy that shows that she was not in abusive condn
     
    coolgal123, Sep 30, 2015
    coolgal123, Sep 30, 2015
    #12
    2 people like this.
  3. Sep 30, 2015 #13
    Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    LOL you have no clue about the different kind of abuse that exist in this world.

    Haven't you seen in this forum that women return to the abusing husband ? I don't know how you decided to use that logic to justify this ? When you are desperate for help you resort to the last option.


    What are the different types of child abuse
     
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    #13
  4. Sep 30, 2015 #14
    Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Emotional abuse checklist (copied off the Internet) -

    - Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating, judging, criticizing
    - Domination, control, and shame
    - Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings
    - Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect
    - Codependence and enmeshment

    I don't think any of these apply. OP's dad wasn't father of the year. Was he a caring attentive father? No. Is that abuse? No way!

    OP you are pregnant, and possibly feeling vulnerable and emotional. You need your parents to be here. But they've messed up what you wanted so badly. So be mad at them, be sad, but don't lose perspective. Don't look back and pile on every real or imaginary hurt onto your present situation. Maybe you should confide in your husband. Tell him how you feel. If not him how about your sisters? It will be enormously liberating to have someone hear you out.
     
    Gauri03, Sep 30, 2015
    Gauri03, Sep 30, 2015
    #14
    2 people like this.
  5. Sep 30, 2015 #15
    Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Try posting the same when someone post something about their spouse. If you haven't gone through abuse as a child it is impossible to understand OP's feelings.
     
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    #15
  6. Sep 30, 2015 #16
    Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Condescending. Presumptuous. LOL? Is that an educated response? Really? If you have a position, substantiate it. Don't make vague emotional protestations.

    I understand OP's feelings well enough. One of the reasons I posted in this thread was because I could identify at some level. However when someone makes an ad hominem attack, I know it's time to make my exit.

    PS: As to the whole spouse thing, it's a logical fallacy - faulty analogy or false comparison by means of an argument by analogy. I would elaborate but I honestly can't be bothered.
     
    Gauri03, Sep 30, 2015
    Gauri03, Sep 30, 2015
    #16
    4 people like this.
  7. Sep 30, 2015 #17
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Minion,
    There is no abuse here. Not a doting father, yes. Didnt consider his daughter as apple of his eye, yes. Less than what other parents do, in some ways possibly yes.

    But abusive? Certainly not.
     
    Ragini25, Sep 30, 2015
    Ragini25, Sep 30, 2015
    #17
  8. Sep 30, 2015 #18
    armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    As per your immidiate problem of spelling mistakes . Your surname should be as per the your school leaving certificates and your fathers should be as per some other identification.

    what you need to do is get an affidavit done that so and so is your father and that the spellings don't match in your certificates .

    I have done this personally as my surname does not match my fathers and my mom used her maiden surname. It is not a really big deal for visa
     
    armummy, Sep 30, 2015
    armummy, Sep 30, 2015
    #18
    1 person likes this.
  9. Sep 30, 2015 #19
    Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    When people think that its not a big deal and post reply because it did not happen in their life then LOL is the right expression.

    We all know we hold our spouse to a high standard and parents are held to a lower standard.
     
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    #19
  10. Sep 30, 2015 #20
    Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    That's right in nature when something is in abundance it looses its value, India has a population issue, you can not question your parents you can only question your spouse.
     
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    Minion, Sep 30, 2015
    #20
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