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A ride home

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by desidiva, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. desidiva

    desidiva New IL'ite

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    I commute to work everyday in the train and the other day had to take a bus from the train station to home as my car was in for repairs. Usually the bus is crowded to the point where they now form a line at the bus stop to get the first come first serve without the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1:place>Bombay</st1:place></st1:City> train experience. On this particular day, there were only three of us in the bus as the trains from <st1:State><st1:place>New York</st1:place></st1:State> were running late and the trains coming from the opposite direction (my trains) don’t have many passengers. As I was a new face in the bus, one of the two ladies started talking to me about how for a change there is room to sit and what not. As we got more into talking, she started complaining about the fellow bus riders…90% of them being Indian. Her big issue was how desis always behave like desis even in such places like <st1:country-region><st1:place>America</st1:place></st1:country-region> and how they don’t have any manners. She huffed and puffed about the fact that desi guys don’t know what courtesy is when it comes to giving ladies some respect in public places.

    In the morning when she takes the bus to the train station, her bus stop has about 20 people…where guys take up seats…leaving her standing. While in the evening, guys who get off at the first bus stop take up seats…again making her stand in the bus. She was distraught by the insensitivity of the desi guys not giving up their seat to a lady. Mind you, she is in her early 30’s and has no physical handicaps. I personally don’t think that one should expect others to give them something because they are women. I know that in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> women and children are given preference like many other places…even here in the <st1:country-region><st1:place>US</st1:place></st1:country-region>. But does that give you the right as a woman to expect this extra care from men? What happened to women wanting equality like men? Why now demand for more because of gender?

    I didn’t say much to the lady in question as she was a stranger to me and I had no desire to start an argument. I kind of just changed the topic to how the trains are never on time. In all of this, I don’t think it’s ok for a guy to push around a woman to take up seat…I am sure that happens as my dh tells me of such incidents (to both men and women) as he commutes to NY. On the other hand, I have been given the luxury of a seat on a crowded bus or train by fellow passengers numerous times and have taken them up on the offer. I have also been on the giving end where an elderly man/woman comes on board and the whole place is packed. I would see no one (including the guys) getting up so have gotten up and offered my seat to them.

    What would you do or want from others as a woman? Do you think it is fair for a woman to have special care because of her being a woman?



  2. CharuKaur

    CharuKaur Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Vib

    It feels great to find ladies who think on these lines!
    appreciating a gesture of courtesy is plausible but expecting it does not make sense to me too!
    I strongly agree with you and feel sad whenever issues like % reservations for girls in colleges etc come up. One should deserve what (s)he gets irrespective of being a girl/boy!

    Nice topic.
    Have a good day ahead!

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