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A perspective on roles of Indian Women

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Lady1, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Lady1

    Lady1 Silver IL'ite

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    Here is my perspective fellow ILites!
    Indian Women's Roles? Okay, we haven't figured them out yet because,
    We do too much a,d everything without letting anything go to replace new responsibilities:
    I am an Indian woman to my core. Let's just look at my life and see what I mean:
    I was born in a happy middle-class Indian family as the tenth child and at that --a daughter. Great upbringing and an early marriage to a professional at age 19. immediate move to the western hemisphere with my husband. In the 40 years that passed after that had and raised two children, a boy & a girl and saw them get married, had orthodox, demanding and culturally endowed mother-in-law live with me in the U.S., saw through the divorce and remarriage of our son and the births of four grandchildren from my daughter and a grandson from my son. All through this I studied and became a professional myself and as I near retiremnt today hold a prestigious job with a salary above the hundred thousand dollar mark.
    What are some of the roles I filled doing all of this and how was the experience? I am able to sit back. look back and try and define some of them here:
    A young girl child who is expected to learn some fine arts like music, drawing & painting, tailoring etc in addition to demanding school work since an education to be able to earn a decent salary your own or to supplement the family's has become even more important in the past few decades. Throughout this phase she also gets trained in helping out with household chores-I had my own duties of maintaining the dining room and the Worsjip area. In the teen years and young adult phase the whole focus is on growing to match the expectations of whomever will be your life-partner and his family [Of Course, in the current background of choosing life-partner from your own gender, getting artificial insemination as per genetic traits desired etc., this account is going to sound archaic but in that it is my perspective developed from my experience, so it is]. Another important role you play at this time is one of valiant restraint at the approaches by eligible bachelors that abound around you in college. Family values, elders' expectations and your own if you had the guidance in your formative years to do it, warn you when the limikits come up in any relations beyond good-friendship. Your desires to be beautiful and have a bounty growing along with you make you put your sight on career goals to achieve and at the same time manage parents' desire to see you settled.
    Again, there are of course households where the decision to let the girl first do this is made but in mine, if a good prospective came in sight we knew we would get married when our parents were still healthy and able.

    Moving to a foreign country & culture doubles the intensity of your 'nurturing' and 'safe-guarding the family values' roles. You learn to accept others more. You learn more flexibility in your approaches-
    The 'home-manager,' and simultaneous 'academic student in a structured study program'-- emerges: it is at once like [at the home-front] the monkey-mother gathering food while her baby clings to her belly, and [in the career-front] a cocoon waiting to burst open so that the encaged butterfly may take its first flight putting on the fabulous display of its multi-colored wings ...
    The kids growing up, dating, marrying see the Indian Woman alternatingly, a worried and concerned mother hen, elated and proud lioness, and a great team-mate for her beloved husband. She is also probably taking care of in laws who may have come to visit on a long-time basis, repeating the loving 'daughter' role once again in life.
    When something goes awry and there is a break up of one off-springs marriage her heart breaks and she stops living fully. She is in an introspective role, questioning all the decisions that had been taked with or without her involvement and toils to no end to make things right once again like a little, tireless warrior. Often she finds herself quite alone in this but succeeds for that's how she is. She helps her child reset his thinking and approaches to functional, and find a suitable mate, once again-she is now playing the role of a leader, a mentor and a true guide. Well this is a new role for Indian women an done her western sisters are unfortunately a just a bit more experienced in. Once again this perspective will sound archaic to someone in whose family a lot of break ups may have taken place and managed well but just one in mine aged me by decades for sure. The very 'Indian' woman learns to be very attentive and intuitive to the broken child's needs and feelings. Is she becoming a nurse, a doctor?
    She certainly becomes somewhat resigned and learns what may be involved in the role of an ascetic. Comes the time to retire and enjoy the lovely grands--is she able to?
    If she has done her worker-role well, they don't want to let her go. She doesn't and finds ways to adjust her schedules to work well for the home-life as well as in her career. I may be able to add the role of an Indian Woman in retirement but that sound like such an oximoron. At least I have set up my IL Blog on libraries (my profession); a square-foot garden, my drawing and painting studio & sewing corner and, the reading/writing shelf, and do all of these things I really like, a little whenever I can make time for them without waiting for a time when my life as the mother, grand-mother, wife and co-provider may slow down some...
    I am sure Indian Women could learn to delegate more, give up some responsibilities when others come up, and perhaps, put themselves ahead of anyone else-but then I ask WHY?! :)
     
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