Hi All: I was reading the various posts by members on problems with in-laws etc. So just thought of contributing my few cents.. my post is long, it might take you time, but do read it and think about it..... Well yes i completely agree that, life for a girl after marriage is certainly not a bed of roses. The problem with in laws exists in many countries all over, no matter how developed the country is. Hopefully that should end with our generation and the future DIL's would see a differernt definition for in laws. It was difficult few years ago, and specially for girls who were house wives had to bear a lot from in laws. But what i see now is, majority girls are highly getting themselves educated. Most being Engineers, lawyers, doctors, MBA's..etc etc.... So then, why is it that we cant solve these issues in the light of justice. No matter how educated you are or how far ahead you reach in your career than your hubby, you will still look small to your in laws. When such is the scenario, i feel we should stand for ourselves. Our parents, inspite having spent loads of money to educate us, surrender themeselves in front of our in laws, considering they have given their daughter to them. So, we dont have our parents, nor in laws, and if some are lucky then they will have a supporting husband. Todays girls are equal to a husband in all respects and might be even more. So why still bear the nagging from in laws. Speak for yourself and let them know, that you too contribute in the running of the house, you do all things equivalent to your husband, tell them clearly and make them understand that, todays world is different. In earlier days, women used to bend, and surrender to their husbands, coz women were completly dependant on the man and he was the food provider. But today its not like that. You and your parents and relatives should get the same respect what they expect. The only airs, in laws have is, their son brings money etc etc. But in most families today this is not the situation. So i feel, we should speak up, make them understand our value and our position in the society. We are not mere wives or mothers or DIL's, we have our won identity. If they still dont undersatnd then, make them respect you thro your behaviour. Act like how you would act in your office for your position. If you are a manager dont many people salute you... So get the same strictness with them too, until they start respecting you and value your worth and later you can treat them as a family. If we educated people dont change our own family members then who will. The most of the problem arises, when right from the start, the DIL starts compromising, listens to all insults and never reacts but burns within, bears all mis talkings about her and her family.... tell me why should any human being bear INJUSTICE. If you cant stand for your injustice then who will... Why get scared of in laws... How much you need a family and husband, same way they too need a wife and a DIL to show case their image in society.. So if they hurt you, then you are responsible coz you are allowing them to hurt you.. After all what more will happen, you will have to be away from your husband for few days, but why worry you will be earning and can support your self, you need not even go back to your parents. And when they realize they will come begging at you. No matter how bad they talk about you ( saying that you are strong headed, very bold, very aggressive etc.. let them say, what will you loose. ) And as it is, when they never speak good about you, then let them say what ever when u are fighting for your rights... Who cares.. They might tell hundreds of people, you tell the same people too.. Coz what ever they tell will always be wrong about a DIL and innocent people they agree to them, so you take a bold step and tell those people what the facts are... A mistake is a mistake,, no matter who does it, YOU or your IN LAWS. If we commit any mistake then we should be the 1st to realize it and appolozise and if some one else has commited any mistake then you deserve their appologies. Else the more you surrender and compromise and keep things within you, then you will be the one who will contribute in never ending In laws problem. Tell me, if all women of 21st century stand for JUSTICE wont this in laws problem begin to come to an end. How many an eg have we seen, of bold girls standing up for their and their parents rights.. In one Ad by Ponds, the women refuses to marry the boy coz of dowry.. what a bold move, why cant we all take such steps in our own lives and help the in laws underatnd us and in turn solve the problem... lets not be educated fools but be and act like educated... Change should begin from within and no where else. You are the one who is required to act and no one else. Why be scared in todays advanced world.. When god does not differentiate between any single life on earth then who are others to differentiate or hurt you. Why stop ourslves and conceal our thoughts with the fear of the society. When what has the society to do with our feelings or hurts.. How ever good or bad u are, people speak in their own perspective about you, so why care for any one. If you know, you are right, if your conscience is clean... then take a bold step and see GOD himself will come for your assistance and rescue. As the famous saying goes " GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES ". Lets all, we learned people of todays century, work towards a better and peaceful life for ourselves. Regards.