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A Nagging Comment

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by mstrue, May 17, 2010.

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  1. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    This is about a comment by a married man - I heard about it from a friend of my friend. She apparently heard it straight from the horse's mouth - the man himself.

    Seems like his wife accused him of talking to women and he told her, "Even married ladies fall for my looks and talents (he is a talented guy it seems)" Later he told the same to the friend of friend.

    She (friend of friend) was irked by that comment because she used to talk to him well as they were known for many years. She took it personal and was venting her frustration to my friend. So to speak, that generalised comment nags me too. Do some men misinterpret a friendly hello/talk as 'falling' for them?

    How to know if we(ladies esp. married ladies) are being misinterpretted? I know the talks should not cross limits and all commonsense stuff.. but a friendly smile, hais, byes.. will those convey a different meaning to someone, regardless of the harmless intention of some unassuming ladies? Men & Women please shed some light.

    That comment 'even married ladies fall' annoys me.. nags me.. I feel insulted because I am a married woman.. I say hi-bye to people I know, regardless of their gender, looks, talents.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2010
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  2. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    Hello MST,

    The guy's maturity level is that low.

    Be it married or unmarried, man or woman, no one can mis-interpret such friendly gestures.

    I have seen this from the either sex.

    Men boasting like the friend you mentioned & as well women too.

    Brush it aside & if you are really concerned - just express your displeasure to the person concerned directly, so that he doesn't repeat such comments.

    There ends the matter.
     
  3. OOPALL

    OOPALL Silver IL'ite

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    Hi MST,
    For someone like this guy, he would seek attention from any stranger and interpret it as they are interested in him. He must have a big ego thinking he is a ladies man.

    JMO

    OOPALL!
     
  4. kainaath

    kainaath Senior IL'ite

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    hi mst...
    it depends on the mentally of a person..
    forsay... there are many relations where the married woman tend to JOKE with men, say it being inlaws, husband's frnds etc, this is in healthy spirit to one,but to others it may be flirting, cajolling etc.

    it may be that this man took the healthy joking nature of this woman as a flirting oppurtunity, so must have commented.
     
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    I have not even seen that person, Natpudan. This was all hear say and dialogs between that girl and him & his wife. But the very attitude bugged me.

    It shows that there is a possibility of friendly gestures being mistaken.. what can one do about it? How to even know that the opponent guages us so low?
     
  6. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    I guess that guy is just immature. As you had said, yes "some" men are bad apples and its upto women to be cautious. Same goes to some women as well. Just got to laugh it off and move on to worthy stuff in my opinion :)
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  7. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    I did know it was your friends experience.

    If it happens to me, this is how I would deal with.

    Can't waste time or worry for such silly expressions.

    People do comment like this - you can never stop that. You are not in control of that, but your reaction is with in your control.

    Am I advising / blabbering beyond a point? :)
     
  8. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks Nandhu.
    You are right.. we got to move on.
    About women to be cautious, that is exactly what I want to learn here from this discussion. How not to be tagged like 'the one that had fallen'? To me, even to be falsely accused of such a thing is very insulting.. little sensitive in that area when it comes to my name, character..
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  9. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks Oopall & Kainaath.
    You guys are right too. It is all about the ego and personality..
    :)
     
  10. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Oh. I see what you are saying. :bonk
    :rotflThis is how I would have and in fact have responded to many posts here in IL and many times followed it in life. But, this one.. I do not know.. I cannot take it light, even though I know that is the right way. shakehead

    As I told Nandhu, even to be falsely accused of such a thing is very insulting.. I would keep myself away from such person so I do not create oppurtunities to make him think low of me. But that disturbs my innate friendly self. I wish we all (men, women) could converse healthily without an inhibition to the gender. But some men (and women -per few of you.. I have not come across such a falsely accusing woman yet.. but I trust you guys so taking your word for it :)) like him disturb the equilibirium. :spin

    No.. Not really.. not atleast in the 'General Discussions' forum. :rotfl(By the way, I did not mean anything about your contributions to the Poems forum. Really. :biglaugh)
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
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