1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

A Must Read For Bankers

Discussion in 'Interesting Shares' started by jayasala42, Jul 24, 2020.

  1. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,054
    Likes Received:
    9,988
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Very often there is discussion as to whether Bank executives are lions or goats.
    How to kill a LION (Banking Style)
    (A must read for all bankers)

    1. *ICICI bank method*:
    Hire a lion, give him full rest, pay him more than his expectations, never ask for anything in the first 2 months. After 2 months tell him that you have to achieve your yearly target in 9 months, lion dies of fear that if he does not achieve this he will lose the jungle.

    2. *HDFC Bank method*:
    Hire a lion, give him a hell lot of work, pay him fat salary more than the industry. Restructure his job as per your fancies every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day, next day give him a target of killing 20 elephants a day while knowing that there are only 10 elephants available. Lion dies of exhaustion and overkill.

    3. *AXIS bank method*:
    Hire a lion and give him a post of a cat, then force the lion to mew like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat.Lion will eventually die of hope and starvation.

    4. *HSBC Bank method*:
    Hire a lion and set a cut off time, give the lion spoon instead of knife and ask him to GB extract 60kg meat out of 40kg goat or else the lion will be forced to become a dog. Lion dies out of frustration and strain

    5. *Standard Chartered Bank method*:
    Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least 3 times a week. Send the lion in the jungle to inspect how he can cancel the licence of fox, wolf or jackal who have violated the 3000 page circular. Lion dies of stagnation and boredom.

    6. *Kotak Mahindra Bank Method*:
    Hire a lion and give him 60kg of meat to eat everyday when he can eat only 30kg. Lion dies of overeating.

    7. *CITI BANK Method*:
    Recruit a lion, ask him to kill an elephant without any cut or blood from the body. Lion is forced to learn from ducks, rabbits and pigeons on how to kill dinosaurs. Lion is provided with 2 wolves to help in killing but with a condition that the wolves will not move or attack. Lion dies of confusion and paradoxes.

    8. *Indusind Bank method*:
    Indusind is out of race a they are still thinking as to what is a lion?

    9. *SBI method*:
    Hire a lion and show him the forest from far. Keep moving the forest full of opportunities so he keeps running. He never gives up coz there are many like him running. Finally he retires half way or dies in stampede.

    10. *Nationalised Bank style* :

    Hire a Lion, give him lowest possible salary and allowances. Start Three -Four campaigns at a single time. Give him unachievable targets. Dont give subordinates. Change softwares suddenly. Take meetings and threaten him of transfer at remote branch. Lion dies cursing his bad luck !

    I think that none of the banks really hired a "Lion". Lions in private banks cannot even roar. Lions in public sector banks continue to roar every day, but there is no one to hear the roar!!
    What about RBI? It hires lions, which used to roar within the premises. These lions would be shifted from one desk to another or from one centre to another so that the "roars" are transferred from one position to another. Ultimately, the "roars" would become noiseless and the lions would retire. After retirement if the lions continue to roar (for pension updation, etc.), such roars are transferred to Delhi DFS where none has any ears!!

    Some banks recruits lions but after a few years they become goats.
    That's why you'll find so many becoming 'bali ka bakra' (sacrificial goats).
    The roar disappears after a few youthful years of service are over.
    Some continue to be lions but noiseless ones and a few continue to roar for some post retirement benefits .

    Jayasala42
     
    gorgeous23 likes this.
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. iyerviji
      Replies:
      0
      Views:
      315
    2. peace3
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      721
    3. sumalynux
      Replies:
      5
      Views:
      1,243
  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    8,237
    Likes Received:
    8,803
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Male
    :hello: Bankers sap the recruit wring up to his or her last drop of energy by giving them gadgets and phones so that they toil for more hours for the same emoluments and perks. These recruits adopt office their office for home while rarely with mind and body they are with family. This applies to IT professional too.
    During those days, one began with less salary, learn the ropes slowly & steadily and reach the pinnacle of their career with huge salary probably when they attain the age of sixty or sixty five. Heart attack one heard of only in oldies around the age of sixty and above. And they fathered many children through their spouse or spouses who had delivered several babies even after successive abortions.

    In modern young ones begin with huge salary in private banks, doubling up their working hours, double income, seldom have quality time with family & their kids ( only if they produce). Their visit to cardiologists begins around forty plus - the new age of retirement among successful IT PROFESSIONALS AND PRIVATE BANKERS AND THEY do not have children support as their son and or daughter in lucrative posts in foreign country.

    Who is responsible in weakening the society that was very robust once. All top management philosophies in rat race.
     
  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,054
    Likes Received:
    9,988
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    This is the reality in almost all the middle class families.Some men feel the pinch early and switch over to a lesser cadre with lesser pay or start their own jobs.It is very scary to see men of 45 undergoing bye pass or angioblast surgeries.
    jayasala42
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.

Share This Page