A More Cruel Murderess!

varalotti · Aug 25, 2006

I am overwhelmed by the response for the Women-Butchers issue posted last week. I am proud to be associated with a group of highly matured women, a privilege denied to a majority of men.

I am relying on that kind of maturity while posting this thread concerning a heinous crime committed by a woman.

I am sure all of you would agree that the heinousness of a crime should not be judged by its outward effect. Especially women the world over would agree with me that at times a husband who slays his wife would be a far better husband than one who kills her daily by his stinging words.

That only shows a person, be it a man or a woman, can commit a horrendous crime without using any lethal instrument, other than his or her words and mind. We are going to judge such an incident during this weekend.

This happened in fifties but is relevant even today.

Sheela got married to a famous comedian. The comedian was making more money than many of the heroes of his times.

The wedding as all filmi-weddings go was celebrated in style. Film historians record the fact that the marriage feast which started at <st1:time minute="0" hour="12">noon</st1:time> went on till late evening. The comedian at that time was very faithful to his wife and doted on her.

When she wanted to go for shopping he went along with her. And he bought her 20 sarees in one go. She was rendered speechless by such an act of love.

They were flying in the high skies as only newly-weds can do.

Looked like the honeymoon was never going to end.

As fate would have it the first note of discard struck.

One day the comedian found the wife crying uncontrollably. He held her in his hands and pacified her. He was very anxious. He was afraid that he might have hurt her unconsciously. He was ready to fall at her feet and beg her pardon if only he knew the reason.

After what seemed to be an eternity the lady opened her mouth.

“I never thought that my life with a film actor would be so happy. I had always thought that a filmi person would have several affairs on the side and therefore it was okay to cheat him. But you have been very faithful to me. And your gift of 20 sarees ! I could not expect that benediction even from my father. I am indebted to you all my life.

But now guilt is killing me. I need to tell you the truth.”

The comedian gasped for breath. What was she saying?

“Yes, when I married you I was not a virgin. I have been raped by my family friend. He did it several times. I got so numb that I am not sure whether I gave enough opposition. But then I was very young and did not know what was happening. I can’t live with you with this guilt. I want you to divorce me.”

The comedian was shocked. In the fifties for a girl to say that she was not a virgin at the time of marriage was something outrageous.

The comedian did not think that divorce was the only solution. But he was not allowed to talk. And soon they were divorced. He loved her so much that he gave away all their wedding gifts. They were worth about a couple of lakhs, a huge sum those days. He also let her keep the jewels and sarees he presented her, another great gift.

And to cap it all he went to see her off at the Tuticorin port from where she was about to sail to <st1:country-region><st1lace>England</st1lace></st1:country-region>.

Though he waved her off with a smiling face he was devastated at this loss. Soon he took to drinking, womanizing and all the vile habits of movie stars. He faced many problems in his career and died at the age of 46. He did not have the heart to marry thereafter.

The lady after two years of separation wrote to him that she had fallen in love with an Indian Doctor in <st1:City><st1lace>London</st1lace></st1:City>. And she begged his permission to marry him.
The comedian enquired about her groom through his contacts, found him to be a nice person and said yes to the marriage.

The lady married him, had a happy, fulfilling life. She had 7 children through her second husband.

Now in my view this lady’s crime is even more heinous than that of the girl who conspired to murder her husband while on honeymoon. And far more so than the lady who developed illicit liaisons with her husband's brother’s son and then killed her own husband.

Whatever she told the comedian amidst tears is the worst example of hypocrisy. For if she had really had the guilt then she should not have married anyone at all. And she did not wait for the comedian to have his word – whether he was accepting her or not. And it was she who killed a good man, an innocent man who had nothing but love for her.

If I were to judge all the three ladies I might be tempted to pardon the honeymoon-murderess and the lawyer’s wife but I will surely condemn this lady to a horrible death.

Well, I can be prejudiced as most men are and that is why I am leaving this matter to the hands of the worlds thousand plus most matured ladies.

Varalotti

Sharada · Aug 25, 2006

difficult situation

Set in the fifties - the time, society's expectations and relationships were totally different. And what we at IL are likely to do is judge the events according to our present day standards and norms. Sheela's crime in confessing to her husband is not heinous. She didn't want to conceal anything from her husband who was devoted to her. Also she must have known that if she had stayed on after the confession there would have been a barrier between them. From her side the barrier might have been of guilt, feeling impure or unworthy of him; from his side he might have been in a quandary and issues concerning her loyalty/fidelity might have arisen.

In today's context virginity is not a big issue. But those days it was a big issue over a small tissue. Perhaps Sheela had been coerced by the family friend to hide the matter, and she also must have known that no one would marry her if she was open about it. But her conscience didn't let her rest in peace.
After she left him, the comedian should have let her go - both literally and figuratively. Like she found someone else, he also should have rebuilt his life. Languishing and crying about a lost love is futile in any day and age. I feel sorry for him because he was the architect of his own destruction. Sheela's stance can be validated - she didn't want to cheat her husband. When she got married to an actor she must've assumed that he'll be a womaniser; and that would have assuaged her guilt. But his love for her must have made her feel more guilty.
I don't know about the women in the other narratives so I can't compare and pass judgement about whose crime is more heinous. It's about complex feelings, expectations and relationships. Varalotti, I don't blame Sheela. She moved on, but he got stuck and ruined his life. No matter what, there are only three relevant words - life goes on.
Sharada

varalotti · Aug 25, 2006

Welcome High Priestess!

Sharada,
I think I did not explain properly why I charged Sheela. If Sheela had told the comedian that she did not love him and therefore could not stay with him then it is a different story.
If she had told him that she loves somebody else and therefore wants a divorce then that's again a different story. The women who killed in the earlier episode could have done that.
She clearly says that she could not live with him because of her guilt. But then how could she live with another man?
Did she hide the facts from him? She could have hidden her earlier sexual experiences but she could not have hidden her marriage to the comedian.
If she could get along with that man, she could have gotten along with the comedian as well. And I read the biography of the comedian. Sheela did not ask for his pardon or did not even ask him to accept her. She just said that she was going to quit.
I see something very flippant here. And it is this flippancy that lends cruelty to her act.
Normally I dont come with my arguments this early. But I want the otherside to be known to the ILites before they write their own judgments.
Thanks for opening the account, Sharada.
Varalotti

Chitvish · Aug 25, 2006

I knew Sheela, very well !

My dear Sridhar,
Please allow me to disclose the identity of the actor. He was Chandrababu, right?
Let me give you the details which is first hand information. This happened in our own dear Madurai. Sheela was a good acquaintance of me, I now feel bad to call her my friend after you have attached the " murderess" tag to her! May be you know, their house is exactly in the middle of your & my houses in Madurai!!
Sheela's father was a Sourashtra gentleman in Madurai and he had married a foreigner. I do not remember her nationality. He was a very rich businessman. Sheela was the eldest of 4 or 5 children. Though she had all typical Indian features, she had taken after her mother for complexion. That gave her such a superiority complex in our small town. She just used to " pooh pooh" all of us with her arrogance about her complexion. She was one of the " vilest" girls in our area and was nearly hated by everyone of us, friends.
That her marriage was fixed with a relative living abroad was known to us, her friends. At that time Chandrababu came to Madurai for a film shooting and stayed in TVS guesthouse almost nextdoor to their house and mine as well.
Some "rendez-vous" must have stealthily taken place, we all guessed! Within a week, their wedding was announced, which was a shock to us because, she had announced to us, her plans to marry somebody in London! We thought, she was bowled over by the filmi glamour! How Chandrababu wooed her, was the talk of the town, then. We disscussed the juicy gossip, among all of us - Sheela's friends.
But when their marriage did'nt last (which we expected, knowing her first love and weakness), we could clearly make out, it was a ploy to extricate money from Chandrababu. Knowing her basic nature, this was no shock to us.
Poor Chandrababu had to pay a heavy price, for no fault of his (except falling in love with this girl) and fell a prey to a scheming girl. Thereafter she was boycotted and hated by all of us, her friends.
It is possible, she brought about the "virginity issue" just to add a cinematic touch to her wanting to get herself freed from him. That she got married soon, is ample proof of this.
Sridhar, your words " a cruel murderess" fir her to a T. She really planned to extract money from him and he sadly fell a prey to her physical charm.
Such girls deserve to be condemned by very strong words.
Well, as one posting culture and prayer threads , I cannot repeat your wish, but wish her " may God beless her"!
Love & regards,
Chithra.

Vidya24 · Aug 25, 2006

discussing,not judging

Hello Sridhar,

Based on the information given in your first post and the reply to Sharada,
one thought comes to mind- an upadesham from a learned father/Guru/friend figure.

'you make your own happiness, no one can make you unhappy unless u choose. And you can make no one unhappy unless they choose'.

It is touching to read about the genuine love that this husband had for his wife. And I feel, she was right in telling him. Her timing was bad, though.Maybe she expected that being a film actor, he would be unfaithful, not hold strong moral values on marriage. But when she found it to be contrary, she did what she felt was the right thing. She confessed and told him the truth. Sometimes, in certain cases, you cannot give the other person a choice or say. You have to make your own value judgments and quit. In this particular relationship, she had to have the last word. Be it right or wrong, innocent or malicious.

As for the actor, I feel sorry for him. I feel he 'acted' right, he was one of God’s good men. But how he chose to process the information his wife gave him, how he chose to streamline his life after her leaving/confession/betrayal was also up to him. Even if she had deliberately cheated him and even if that was a cruel stab to overcome in those days, he could have, he should have still rallied round.

He could have chosen to concentrate on his work, not marry and live on. He could have chosen to work, marry and live on. Or he could have chosen to drink and become a pethadine addict and may get/pass round HIV. The ultimate choice he made is his responsibility. I feel very sorry for him. He did not deserve this. But sometimes the best course of action/revenge is to just stay alive and have a good life.

But if there is one person for whose soul I will pray, it will be this actor. He deserves it, he has earned it. He has good karma.

regards
Vidya

Kamla · Aug 25, 2006

Doomed anyways

Dear Sridhar,

Read your version of Sheela story. But now, we have more insight to who and what Sheela was. She was a heartless schemer. Chandrababu was an easy prey.

Artistes are often very sensitive and emotional. Add some naivette to it and you have our man here. He was exactly what she was looking for and fell right into her net. Given his disposition, he would go about anything with intense ferver and so he gave all of himself to her and later, all of himself to self destruction.

This world is not perfect. It is infested with creatures like cruel, heartless inlaws and cunning and lowly schemers and most of our lives have been touched by one or the other's vicious claws to various extent. What Sheela committed here was a psycho murder. She left him unable to function normally with a part of him dead. But how can I compare her to the other two who carefully planned and put a total stop to their husbands' lives? They did not give them any chance at life, they were blown out of this world, no choices. Sheela is vile and so are many people on this earth who hurt the fellow human beings. She accomplished what she had planned and left.

It was upto him to make what he wants of his remaining life. He chose to destroy it further, sadly. I do feel very sorry for him and pray that he has finally found peace somewhere.

I just know one thing, Sheela is a scumbag, excuse me. It is unfortunate he came in contact with her.

L, Kamla

meenaprakash · Aug 25, 2006

Re - the "so called" heinous crime

Hello Sridhar & ladies,

I have set my mind to think about this scenario.
Sheela is a perfect opportunist.
She found what she probably was looking for.
Someone to dote her beauty and get her all materialistic things she aspired.
Chandra Babu on the other hand is a Romantic at heart with lot of money.
He required someone who would squeal with delight when he bought things with his money. He was doing this for HIS happiness and feel good factor than HERS.
This way both got what they wanted, until like everything happens in the world, all things become stale over a period of time if commitment or love is not there.

I don't consider either of them are wrong.
Such things happen all the time and will continue to happen.

When a beggar begs for alms, the person who gives him money should thank the beggar and not vise versa. The beggar here has given him a chance to give what he has and feel good about it.

Reminds me of Swami Vivekananda and Rockfeller. Same thing constued here.
Rockfeller after hearing Swami's speech and request to help poor people in Bengal, donated some money and while walking away near the door turns back and asks Swami to atleast say 'Thanks'. For this the great Swami says that Rockfeller should say thanks and not him.
Rockfeller went on to become the greates philontrophist in the world only to get that feel good factor that comes when you GIVE.

Regards,

Kamla · Aug 25, 2006

That's another angle!

Wow Meena, must say I was very impressed with your point of view of looking into this case. It makes sense, one went for outward beauty and the other for monetary gain.
Loved the reference you gave about Vivekananda and Rockfeller. Nice

L, Kamla

Vidya24 · Aug 25, 2006

aye,aye Meena & Kamla

Yes, Meena has a different angle and it makes sense too. Good to know the Rockfeller-Vivekananda info.

Vandhana · Aug 25, 2006

Way to go Meena

Loved your reply to this and totally concurr with you. After reading Ms Cs write up, i have to say that we cannot brand Sheela as a murderess , but more likely a opportunist, money monger etc etc..... , What the comedian did with his life after the divorce was affected by Sheela , but she is in no way responsible for the path that he took. There are other options available to someone going through depression. It is easy for us to say , but i would say that the comedain was weak in that he chose to drink his life away rather than go for more worthwhile pursuits to get over this nasty chapter in his life.

Vandhana