A Major Vent

A decent father would not doubt his daughter or cook up excuses for the situation. He would also make sure that the child is never left unsupervised around the boy.

 

see now you are mixing a lot of items. and also indirectly avoiding responsibility . And I also get it is post pregnancy.

dh is getting in the SPOT. I give a 1% benefit due to his surgery. what happened cannot be changed. dh was not well. some delays. his slow , not protective attitude

want to resolve in future. Your DD will not go to any relative place without YOU. PERIOD. not blaming any further. just acting protective. no further discussions. more discussions more stress to all.

also every IL has their own life experience shared and Wisdom shared. so it is just open forum for you. In my house , DH would have made my MIL life a rukus she knows he is protective and get angry as hell when such happens. then his bro or sis would face. their kid may not.

 

so true madam. my dd and ds. at that age , were so naive . even if they are not fed or treated bad. they will not open mouth to me . it was hard.

 

You need to be strong enough be firm.
Tell your H that you wont send your daughter to anyone's house alone. Sad that he is not proactive even for this important issue.
It wont take much time for your H to under stand what bad or good touch is or talk to his daughter. I am glad that your 6y old daughter trust you and understand misbehavior. Your job is to understand, evaluate, validate if it correct and give strenghth to move forward.

It is your H's fear to take responsibility as he want to be in a safe place in terms of relationship with his side of the family. That boy did it (whatever) and he should be warned and educated, but its is his parents job. But showing hatred towards his mother or MIL or that side of family wont do any good. I guess you already talked to your daughter about in what way it is misbehaving why she complains of ' bad smell' etc to understand what happened. But bringing it again and again is like torturing her. Its not her fault that it happened.

It wil be better to maintain distance from that family and now onwards dont send your daughter alone.

Keep educating your daughter about good and bad touch and what to do( I remind my kids about it often).There are many many videos or cartoons on it. If she can relate send that video to your H to give the gist. Going after to your H or blaming him.. Wont bring any sense. He has to realize it himself. Take charge and be in control.

 

As your husband has not taken any action yet, why dont you just speak to the boy and warn him about the consequences of his actions. This will prevent such incidents happening with other girls in future through him. It will also help you to be normal as a conversation with the boy will help you to get this thing out from your mind. Possible that your sil/mil must have scolded or talked to him about it, but you too need to get the point driven into his head. Dont depend on other family members as they might be afraid of the relationships turning sour.