A lil different and very shocking life

CrayoNess, I give up. You say "get hired help" and "relatives can then fly in" so easily.

Hired help is not lining up outside. Hiring help is itself an art. Then by the time that help learns how to make sambhar, baby is ready for preschool. Relatives cannot just buy a ticket online and "fly in" - there are little things like visa, medical insurance, packing suitcases... In most households in India, the house is very rarely "locked" for days. That means they have to arrange for someone reliable to come in every other day. They cannot drop everything and fly at a moment's notice like from NYC to SFO.

"Friends" - in foreign land, they are the family you don't have, the shoulder you lean on and the extra pair of hands you call upon when moving But, for help during daytime in weekdays - how much can they help? They also have jobs. And not all friends are so close as to help you with literally everything. Such friendships take time, and not all have stayed long enough in a place to make such friends.

yes, pregnancy and childbirth are natural occurrences, and women are known to pause work in fields, give birth and get back to work. I forget what is my point!

 

Pregnancy and childbirth is the same for every woman irrespective of nationality as you rightly say. However the circumstances of birth and post-partum activities differ. Childbirth in a highly industrialised country with state of the art hospital facilities is usually a cakewalk. However the lack of such facilities usually means a tug of war between life and death when complications occur.

All of India especially rural areas does not have access to qualified doctors. Midwives, experienced womenfolk are the ones who actually deliver babies. These women help all pregnant women with delivery. Someone is boiling water, a few hold the mom-to-be 's legs and hands (there is no anaesthesia, most city hospitals do not provide epidural!), someone is massaging - you do need a little army!

Then the post-partum part. I know its pretty common for people in US and other countries to eat food cooked days and months ago, stored in the freezer. Frozen food is not the norm in India. Everyone eats freshly cooked food. The new mom eats special food that is freshly prepared specially for her. You need someone knowledgeable to do this. Then there is oil massage for the baby, oil massage for the mom. Hired help is difficult to come by in cities or in US for this. Usually they are very ignorant.

Parents or in laws who come in to help take care of grandchildren do not pop store bought food from the freezer into the oven! Every meal is cooked from scratch. Anyone familiar with Indian cooking knows how much of an effort that is. In addition they are cooking special meals for the new mom, singing lullabies to the baby, giving him a bath (not just dunking in a tub!). A loving oil massage takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. And yes we do not apply oil after bath, its done before the bath. So you see, there is plenty of work happening in a new-born's home. The mom and dad cannot handle it on their own.

Alvin Toffler in Future Shock says one of the most important shock absorbers into the future will be the Family. Family support and network is one of the most enduring aspects of collectivist cultures. Its a gift that is cherished by the giver and the recipient. India still has this gift.