A lil different and very shocking life

This is something I do not understand. Pregnancy and delivery are part of normal life and mostly very exciting experiences. And isn't the husband the person you turn to in these kind of situations? There are two capable adults (the new mother and father) in the family, why would they need help from outside (asking their parents)?

 

crayoness, in India men didnt use to be expert in taking care of new born babies...it is considered that old ladies of the family are experienced in handling new borns as they have handled many before....so they are supposed to help the new born and new mother....also special food used to get cooked by old ladies for new mother which was supposed to be having medicinal properties and help new mother recover....moreover a generation ago (my parents genneration) kitchen and babies work was not considered as man's duty...it used to be the woman's dept...


so it was the tradition that mother in law or parents or some other old lady used to take care of new mother and new baby....it is considered their duty....like taking care of our old parents completely is children duty in india...


now these traditions are changing...husbands taking part in taking care of wife and baby ....many people living abroad handles child birth alone...but still most of the time some or the other person is there to help the new parents...this is quite common and nothing unusual in it in india...
but as this tradition is still prevalent in india...so most of the parents specially at the time of first born are really worried to handle baby alone as they think themselves as inexperienced...it is in our mind that only experienced people can handle the baby....in india normally you dont get classes for handling baby where husband wife both goes to learn...

 

You do not have child care classes in the delivery hospital or part of the prenatal training?

In old days men often had to act as midwives as the distances long and not always possible to get help. Neighbors helped by bringing ready cooked food.

New parents are of cource inexperienced but how much valid experience would an old lady have after 20+ years since last time saw a baby.

 

now big cities of india having prenatal classes...i dont know if they have child care classes or not as i havnt attended any....you will hardly see any couple handling childbirth alone in india... child caring classes must not be a hit in india as it is not required due to family support system...






in india this department is always handled by woman....still women dont prefer to goto male gynaecologist...even husband are hushed away from the room where new mother takes rest ....traditionally husband cant sleep in same room with the new mother for 40 days...but yes this is changing now...


.


in india a generation ago ...families were joint and big...there is culture of offering help on arrival of a baby...once you have your children you are qualified to offer help...so normally it doesnt happen that a lady doesnt get to handle a new born after her own kids...babies used to take birth at some or other relative place ....in ur culture people leave parents n baby alone to bond..but in our culture your every relative wants to spend some time with the new born ...


although now it is true to some extent that exp of old lady becomes obselete...hence lots of friction occurs when old mil wants to have her own old way with the baby ...which is not appropriate as per new guideline given by the paed.

 

It is a very fascinating topic (different traditions around child birth, rarely documented in any history books). But somehow this that a woman needs to be taken care of during pregnancy and labor (and you need an army of MILs, parents etc ) sounds strange. Pregnancy is not a disease and you can live normally, recovering from delivery takes a few days and baby care is not a rocket science (and the basic stuff like bf is supported in the hospital).

 

Its actually not that surprising that traditional Indian ways sound strange to a Scandinavian. In fact, I'd be surprised if it was not sounding strange to you.

 

I assume that pregnancy/delivery is the same physical process in Scandinavia, India, South America and Greenland. Or is it so that indian pregnancies are somehow special and that is why the whole army of relatives are required?