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A hairy solution!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Jul 18, 2010.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    I was waiting at a hair salon the other day when conversation broke around me. Two gentlemen began what was, at first, a friendly discussion on current political news. The conversation then gradually progressed to a heated debate on the pros and cons of Capital punishment. Oops, I thought. Here I go again caught in the middle of yet another conversation that was completely beyond the scope of my ‘world’.

    Sandwiched between the two men, I did what I had practiced to do in such situations. I put on a face that dripped with intelligence and belied my ignorance on such issues. It is actually not that hard. You can try this too. Bring your eyebrows together very gently to create a slight furrow just above your nose. This tells an onlooker that you are deep in thoughts. Now tuck both lips inside your mouth to indicate that you are deliberately restraining yourself from jumping into the conversation and nod your head this way and that way every few minutes in agreement or disagreement. Hah, here is an absolute must that is sure to help you fit in. Be sure that you massage the back of your neck and rotate your shoulders often in a show to relieve some of the non-existent stress. People can’t help but admire such intelligent looks, such restraint and passive participation. If nothing, it sure beats sitting clueless among strangers with eyes rolled upwards in a prayer to be let out of a scary scene from a historical wartime drama.

    As I was playing back the scene in my mind on the way back home, I suddenly realized that I had missed a golden opportunity to contribute positively to a discussion. For, I happen to have a solution to the controversial social debate on death penalty. I happen to know a ruthless form of punishment that could easily replace death penalty and have heartless criminals wet their beds in fear. I, an average suburban housewife, happen to know an alternative method of justice to the death penalty that will have murderers begging for the electric chair and the victims’ families applauding the simplicity of the solution. I am talking about some serious pain here. I am talking about a torture that is more heinous than any criminal act that warrants such a justice.

    If you haven’t tuned in yet, I am talking about an inhuman act called waxing. I will bet you my right ear that any woman or girl who has ever waxed a leg at least once in her life will agree with me that there is no torture/punishment worse than that. (He he he, I am counting on the fact that my right ear is of no use to anyone…just in case the bet goes awry and I need to pay up).

    You got a murderer or a traitor? Bring him on and sit him up on a chair. Stir up the hot wax and pour it on his legs, arms and back. Ignore the blood-curdling screams and spread the wax. Press a strip of muslin cloth on the wax and rip it off his skin. If this doesn’t qualify to top capital punishment, I don’t know what does. With every yank, watch the evil drain out of a man as the pain ripples through him. With every yank, discourage another one that is planning to step on the wrong side of the law. Why spend thousands of taxpayers’ money on implementing capital punishment when you can mete out something equally terrible for just over $10.00? If the Supreme Court embraces my suggestion and replaces death penalty with waxing, the Federal treasury is sure to heave a sigh of relief.

    If you ever find a man looking down at you in condescension, get him a waxing appointment at a local salon, will you? After a couple of hard yanks, ask him to tell you that you are weak and powerless. Please!
     
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  2. ALPA

    ALPA Platinum IL'ite

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    :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaughDear Meena,
    loved the way you potrayed your post and i enjoyed reading it thinkingwhat would have been the out come of those two men and LO BEHOLD you spoke about waxing, and i totally agree with you, men are powerless infront of waxing as they are scared:crazy:crazy, i am still laughing out aloud
    love
    alpa:cheers
     
  3. Dhaanika

    Dhaanika Gold IL'ite

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    Ha ha! That was funny! :biglaugh
     
  4. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hi meena

    i was away on vacation, so i couldnt respond to your other posts. but yes i read them all, when i saw the nomination posts. ( yes i do that, when i am away from IL for long).:))

    as for your bet i think the more painful, will be delivering a child by normal process(no C section) "Dont u agree with me" ??? albeit at the end, there is no satisfaction like it.

    very good post. love a lot.
     
  5. jaishvats

    jaishvats Bronze IL'ite

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    hi

    there was a little suspense in your post...i kept wondering what that horrible punishment would be.... :)

    Have you seen the movie What Women Want? ... In that Helen Hunt, head of an advertisng agency asks all of her staff to try out the product they are going to advertise and it happens to be cold wax...There is one seen where Mel Gibson howls in pain after trying it out on himself.... :)

    btw your idea on how to look intelligent during heated conversation was superb....:)
     
  6. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena
    :eek:mg: what a death penalty:biglaugh:biglaughpoor guys will surely ask for the electric chair instead of waxing...hehehe

    Your second para about your intelligent look:thumbsup:biglaugh see me not able to write a proper fb too just sitting and laughing at your wild imagination...
    Subperb post....hahaha
     
  7. Raba

    Raba Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Meena

    :biglaugh:biglaughI just loved the way to look intelligent.:rotfl

    So you have found out a way to cut costs :rotfl

    Good one dear
     
  8. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you ALPA! I am glad that you enjoyed the post. Waxing can make mince-meat out of macho men. I guarantee it. :)
     
  9. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Welcome and thank you Dhaanika! :)
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena,

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    what a solution, waxing eh ! well let me try it first, i see harsha waxing but she never makes a face.:biglaugh

    i have another solution, have a mother in law and DIL arguing in front of the prisioner, and he will beg for the electric chair.

    And best, inject him with Aids infected blood, what say ?

    Any more ideas , u brilliant I lites ?

    REgards

    kamal
     

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