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A Glass Of Water

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by IniyaaSri, May 31, 2016.

  1. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    Dears, I have just made an attempt to write a short story! I found its really hard for me to write short stories since I got used to long ones though they were just 2 stories :grinning:!!! Anyway, I have just tried. Will be happy to read your thoughts on this. :blush:


    Ramakrishnan was in deep sleep and his wife Sundari woke him up as the time was 5 a.m. RamaKrishnan got up at once and started the day with his usual morning Rituals. Though he was not a Brahmin by birth, he took up the task of doing Pooja for the small temple that he owned in the colony.

    After his bath, he went to temple which was just a 2 minutes walk from his home. He unlocked the main gate and did all his usual routines and Poojas. Lord Ganesha was sitting majestically and RamaKrishanan changed the garland and lit the lamp.

    Since it was an auspicious day, all the colony people were gathered at the temple around 7 in the morning. Ramakrishnan greeted everyone with a smile since everyone knows him well. He gave the holy ash to everyone. After sometime, everyone left the temple. Ramakrishnan locked the Grabhagriha and walked back to his home.

    His bear upper body had holy ashes, kumkum, sandal paste and other similar things which clearly showed everyone that he is a pujari.

    He opened his house gate in another 2 minutes and saw his wife Sundari talking to a thin dark lady who was having her baby in her hip.

    Ramakrishanan just smiled at her and went in. After 5 minutes, Sundari came in and prepared breakfast for her husband.

    Ramakrishnan sat on the sofa as his knees were paining.

    “Sundari…where did you keep the ointment? My knees have started paining” Sundari heard her husband’s voice.

    “You never take care of your health….As if you are 16, remember you are 65” saying this she brought his breakfast.

    “What were you talking to that lady outside? I already told you that I don’t like you talking to those people… Don’t you remember what kind of people we are and what they are….” He fed his stomach with frustration.

    “My dear husband. Please listen. The water pipes in her house got damaged and she asked me for a pot of water yesterday. I gave her 2 pots and got 5 rupees per pot.

    “Wow!! You are a genius in money making” – Ramakrishnan’s face became happy.

    “I know… Am seriously praying that her house pipe shouldn’t get repaired easily. So that I can sell her water every day” saying this she went outside hearing the calling bell.

    “Yeah! We have two portions in the first floor. Your portion is in the second floor. All our houses are fully furnished. You can check. “ – Ramakrishnan heard his wife talking to someone.

    May be someone has come to see our new portion.

    When he was wearing his slippers, he saw a stout dark lady standing in nighty. She was having a two year old kid beside her.

    “Hey devi… How are you?! Come in” – Sundari invited her.

    “Am fine maa..just thought of buying home made broom sticks from you” – Devi said.

    “sure! I will get you. But why are you looking dull?” – Sundari asked curiously

    “As usual maa. My husband boozed and kicked me hard. He took away the money which I kept for my child’s medicine. He will never change. Leave it. Get me good broom sticks maa” – Devi and her baby were looking at that tall mango tree and since it was of mango season, there were many mangoes in it.

    Her baby was asking for mangoes and Devi was pacifying her.

    “What happened Devi?” – Sundari came out with the broom sticks

    “Nothing ma.. she is simply seeing the mangoes. How much for the broom sticks ma?” – Devi took her small old pouch.

    “Totally 80 rupees. Even your neighbour has asked. Give it to her.” Saying this Sundari plucked a mango and gave to her kid.

    “Thank you so much maa..” Devi gave her 80 rupees.

    “Its 90 rupees Devi” – Sundari said seeing the mango.

    “maa?” – Devi was puzzled.

    “yeah! I gave you the mango na…Its 10 rupees” – Sundari replied with a proud smile

    “maaa..but I dnt ask you…” – Devi was feeling bad

    “But you dnt stop me as well when I gave to your kid” – saying this Sundari laughed heavily in order to get that 10 more rupees from her.

    Devi gave her 90 rupees and left without talking anything.

    Ramakrishnan left the house smiling at his wife’s so called “Intelligence” in money making.


    Savithri woke up and started her day with a small rangoli at the entrance. She prepared breakfast and lunch for her mother in law and son.

    “Savithri….could have woke me up na…” – her mother in law asked as she woke up.

    “Its ok ma… “ saying this Savithri gave her tea.

    Her mother in law started weeping seeing her son’s photo which was garlanded.

    It was just 3 weeks since her son passed away.

    Savithri gained all her strength to face the society. That was her first day in coming out of her house after her husband’s death. Though he was not a very loving husband, he never failed from his responsibility of taking care of the family.

    “Maaa…wake him up…He has special class today. And I have kept the school fees money on the table.” saying this Savithri came out of the house without Sindoor. She was having a very small black dot between her eyebrows. She wore a pale blue nylex saree and her thick curyl hair was braided tightly. She took her handbag and came out of the house.

    She saw Ramakrishnan was getting ready and there was a car waiting for him.

    Savithri closed her house gate and turned. Ramakrishnan saw her and at once his face became tensed. He came out as he wore his slippers.

    “Maaa savithri….Am going to a wedding and you are coming out at the same time. Is it nice?!! Tell me. Am going for an auspicious occasion ok?” saying this he continued

    “Sundariiiiii…..bring me some water… Sundari came out with a big glass of water. Ramakrishnan had it and sat for some time in his verandah…”

    He saw Savithri standing without talking anything “See Savithri…here after you should be careful. People will treat you like this…See since am broad minded, am not harsh to you”

    “Broad minded?!! That’s why having water and sitting just to rub away the sin of seeing me?” Savithri’s eyes were ready to embarrass her.

    “Ok Sundari….I will start now. Will be back tomorrow.” – Saying this he got into the car and left without knowing that he won’t be returning back. And that glass of water for which he consumed 5 minutes, is going to kill him in an accident.

    Savithri walked slowly…..

    Ramakrishanan’s words were stabbing her. May be because its her first day, she was upset.. May be she will get used when people do that again and again….and may be she will be careful here after as Ramakrishnan said.

    Her eyes couldn’t hold the tears anymore and everything came out….

    She wept very badly as she walked that she literally became week since she was already crying for the past 3 weeks.

    Her eyes were dull and weak. She was very badly in need of a glass of water and she stood near a small tea shop.

    “Can you please give me a glass of water?” – she asked in a weak voice.

    Seeing her pathetic face, the shop keeper gave her a glass of water.

    Savithri gulped all her sorrow and wiped her tears and walked firmly.

    She reached the factory 5 minutes late and that was her first day.

    The Supervisor shouted at her for coming late the very first day and Savithri was again in tears for being embarrassed in front of that many people.

    She tried to wipe her tears and went to her section without knowing that there was an accident in which she would have died if she was there before 5 minutes.

    She kept crying without knowing that a glass of water has saved her life and a good future is waiting ahead for her.

    END
     
    Amica, sindmani, Deepu04 and 6 others like this.
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  2. leenarajaryan

    leenarajaryan Silver IL'ite

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    Hey Iniya nice short story.
    1 thing I could not understand how the supervisor did not know about the accident in his work place & he scolded Savitri for coming late. What type of accident you mention for Ramakrishnan. Sorry i am confused in this both incidents.
     
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  3. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah will tell you dear!!
    There is nothing to do with accident and Savithri coming late.
    Whether the accident took place or not, she would have got scolded for coming late(the very first day) which has got nothing to do with the accident!! Hope am clear :sconf:
    That is separate and this is separate.
    Also I think :thinking: no supervisor will say "Good that you came late" though there was an accident.
    People would be relieved that no one died. I dont think people will think that deeply when it comes to profession!


    And regarding Ramakrishnan, he left by car...so its understood that he will be dying in a road accident!!!
    Tried my best to explain dear :grinning:
     
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  4. leenarajaryan

    leenarajaryan Silver IL'ite

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    okkk Got it Iniya...... Thanks.......
     
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  5. ammusatheesh

    ammusatheesh Gold IL'ite

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    Nice one Iniyaa....
     
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  6. sreeram

    sreeram IL Hall of Fame

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    Good one Ini dear... even people nowadays have these kind of thinking... hard to digest... very well narrated dear..
     
    sindmani and IniyaaSri like this.
  7. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    :blush::blush::blush::blush::blush::blush:
     
  8. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Ammu dear! :grinning:
     
  9. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah Pri!!! People like this, do exist!! Thanks for the feedback dear!!!:blush:
     
    sreeram likes this.
  10. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    @meerasrini just tried to write a short story!!! :facepalm: Suthama varala!!! Padichi Paaru!! @Preetii neeyum. Rendu perum no bad words:mask:
     
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