A friendly suggestion for those having marital problems!!!

If anyone was rude to me, it is easy for me. Coz I will make sure they get an earful. Unfortunately, they know that about me, so no one dared that. Instead they were polite and soft, but persistent, that one was harder to handle

 

Spidey

Again our thread is not about couples who are happily married and deciding or taking time on having kids...its aobut those couples who are going through some tough times or initial hiccups or marital discord!! Such couple should take a stand and step back on even talking about planning for kids and if someone suggests having kids would resolve issues...couple should understand that ITS NOT THE RIGHT SOLUTION! thats the discussion here

If someone is happily married, gel well, family is all happy, and if someone is curious and asking about kids..again yeah answering them softly and firmly would sure do the trick!!!

 

For couples that have problems in marriage, there should be someone in their family, relatives, friends circle to tell them NOT to have baby until the issues are resolved. Unfortunately, if they keep hearing 'a kid will resolve your issues' from people around them, they see it as a ray of hope and go for a kid.

 

People giving advices have the most convincing reasons. if my uncle to get away with that he could use his age, generation gap as an excuse but my own best friend of my age, she used to tell me right after engagement itself to get prepared for baby like taking prenatal vitamins. one of her reason was/is - husband's love towards wife will increase when he sees her bearing his child. :spin
well i know it is not true in her case itself where she is still with her parents and the husband hardly visits her or their child.

When in a bad situation in a relationship, it takes a lot of strength to dismiss all such advices and think clearly. hope the concept of marital couselling will be widely accepted.

 

"love" is a nebulous concept, so i dont know if it increases or decreases.

But I've seen cases where a DH's care and sensitivity to the DW has increased during and after the child. So, maybe your friend has some point, though that does not ofcourse mean rush into a baby.

 

True (not me. but the truly true) - I can vouch. :bowdown
And agree to your second sentence as well.

 

So the conclusion -

1) The best judge on whether someone should have a baby or not is the couple themselves
2) Never succumb to "pressure", however subtle or overt it may be and from whomever it may be
3) Do not assume that a baby could always put things in perspective
4) A baby could bring in new perspectives, but just that the might be completely different for the mom and dad

Now what of cases where as husband and wife, the couple is constantly at loggerheads, but are very good as dad and mom? Is that even possible?

 

Definitely possible, I mean there are so many cases right? Where even after becoming dad and mom, the couple have many issues, but he is a good Dad to the kid and she is a good Mom to the kid. But between them they have issues.

Totally possible.

 

Bumping up Mridusudha's thread so newer people can read.