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A Family Of Friends!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rajeni, Feb 28, 2017.

  1. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    It was almost a month before my marriage date. My parents were busy in sending the invitation, checking and cross-checking the list of guests whom should receive the invite and also there is the mode of inviting. Though most of the invites are sent out in post, there is this close circle of relatives and friends who should be invited in person. On that particular day, my dad was preparing for one such travel. He had to travel south, all the way to Kanyakumari and then on his way back had to stop at Madurai.

    “Is Maami still in Madurai?” My dad asked suddenly while packing.

    “Not sure, long back when we were in touch, I heard her sons have moved out of Madurai. I even remember hearing that the second one has settled in Chennai” My Mom replied.

    “Because of your ego, you lost contact” my dad commented.

    My mom glared at him and went into the Kitchen. “What does he know? He doesn’t even know what happened. All he knows is to blame me! Who stopped him from being in touch? How much I respected Maami and how much I loved her sons, they were like my own brothers” my Mom lamented in a less audible tone.

    I vaguely remembered ‘Ammachchi’ (maternal granny), who my Mom addressed as Maami and the uncles visiting our home and we visiting theirs years ago. I even remembered that Uncles used to call me ‘Kutty’. We were in touch till I was in 10th class.

    Thirty-five years ago, when my parents were newly married, they were our neighbours. Due to my Dad’s state government job, post marriage my Mom went to live in the city he worked. The elderly couple next door had four sons. Since they did not have a daughter, my Mom was more like a daughter to them and their sons treated her like an elder sister. Especially the elderly man ( I call him ‘Thatha’) was very fond of this daughter. There was another young couple (a few years elder to my parents) nearby, they had two little kids then and that woman Amutha was also treated as the elder sister by the Boys. The two sisters and four brothers had gala time together and with time the three families grew closer and their relationship strengthened. Even after my parents moved to a different place, the friendship continued to grow. When I was born (late child) , I called them Ammachchi, Thatha and Mamas. Amutha and her husband became Periamma and Periappa to me.

    “Are you planning to invite them?” I asked.

    “Of course, yes! We will send the invitation to the home address in Madurai. Hopefully, Maami should still be there” my Mom said eagerly.

    “Why don’t you go in person Dad? Anyway you are going to Madurai”

    “Do you remember where their house is?” My Mom chirped in eagerly.

    “Why wouldn’t I?” My Dad said and continued, “That sounds better. I can even enquire in the neighbourhood if I don’t find them there”

    So, it was decided that my Dad would visit them and invite them in person. That night I asked my Mom what happened between us to lose touch. My Mom had lent money to one of the sons and when I attained Puberty my Mom informed them and eagerly waited for them. She counted on these brothers so much due to the problems her own brothers created, but they did not turn up. She was frustrated and called Ammachchi. She misunderstood that my Mom called for the money and mentioned something on those lines. That was enough to upset and hurt my Mother and she did not contact them after that. We moved to a different city after two years given my Dad’s job. I remembered how affectionate the Uncles were and thought it would be nice to meet them all again. Though things may not be same as before, still we can be in touch, I thought.

    A couple of days later, in the late evening, my Dad called my Mom from Madurai. ‘I just spoke to Suresh (the youngest Uncle). He is in Chennai only. I gave your number, he might call you’ his voice boomed. My Mom’s phone rang immediately after my Dad’s call. It was Suresh Mama. My mother sobbed, laughed and scolded him. They spoke on and on. After his call, Kandha Mama(the second Uncle) called. Again the same episode with him as well. After him the elder one, Govind mama called. All of them spoke to me as well.

    The very next day Suresh mama visited us. The moment my Mom opened the door, he touched her feet. My mom pulled him up and embracing him said, ‘You didn’t change at all’. ‘Of course, why would I? You are the elder sister always’ he replied. He apologized to my Mother for not being with her for all those years. Later, while talking we learnt that, during the time when my Mom called Ammachchi, the situation was very bad at their home. Suresh Mama was bankrupt with lot of loans and there were a lot of other issues going on. He also mentioned how they searched for us after things got better. They found contacts in our home town to enquire about us, visited the place we last lived to get our present address, searched for me in Social Media all without success. We learnt that Amutha periamma was also living in Chennai, that too just around 3 KM away from our home. The next few days my Mom was busy talking to her brothers and sister frequently. Latha chithi (Aunt) also joined the group, she lived near Ammachi’s house before my Mom moved in there. Having heard the others talk about our family for all these years, she got along so well. She became the youngest among the sisters.

    Having met before my marriage, everyone said, we were united again ‘at the right time’. Ten days before my wedding, Mamas had hosted a ‘Naal Virundhu’ function ( a function that the Maternal Uncles do for the girl before wedding) at our place. All Mamas with their wifes, Amutha Periamma, her daughter Priya Akka with her husband and kids, Latha chithi, her son Raja Anna and his wife Padma gathered at our place and it was a grand function. Mamas gifted me with Saree and jewels just like the maternal uncles do traditionally. It was such a wonderful get-together. Happiness overflowed at every corner of my house.

    Did I even think that things might not be same as before? Of course not! It was much greater. I am still ‘Kutty’ for them and I can count on Mamas more than I could count on any relative of mine. Esp. with Suresh Mama, I talk and share things, which I hesitate to even discuss with my own friends. When I was down, Mamas even planned and executed a weekend trip for me. The friendship continues in the next generation too between me, Priya akka, Raja anna and Padma.

    Thus, the 35 year old friendship is continuing healthily growing much stronger with each passing day and the most beautiful part is that this family accepts each other as they are. We know each others’ flaws, but that never mattered! I need not act in front of them, coz somehow I am sure they love me. I have never feared at any situation what Mama might think, coz somehow I know Mamas will understand. In short, I trust them and know that they trust me! All I pray is for this wonderful relationship to continue forever!
     
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  2. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    Relationships are meant to break and rebuild with greater strength, truth is that but time and efforts are required for that to happen. Nice one Rajeni.

    I did guess the reason for the disappearance of them for your function and that was it when reading through. Great to know that reconstruction of relationship has strengthened it further.
     
  3. stayblessed

    stayblessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Loved the snippet Rajeni. Happy that you all are back with a greater bond than before.
     
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  4. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Loved it Rajeni. Glad your mom got reunited with her brothers and you with mamas. Let this friendship continue.
     
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  5. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks dear GG!! Very true that it takes time and effort to rebuild the broken relationships, but once done, its truly worth every second and effort invested.
     
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  6. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks dear SB! Yup, we are all back like the happy family, once we were!
     
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  7. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you dear BB! Maternal uncles of always special and when they are also someone whom you can count on, nothing more to ask for.
     
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  8. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    Rajeni meeting our neighbours after a long gap gives abundant happiness.Last week i received a marriage invitation from one of my friend who was my neighbour Twenty five years ago .we all were in the Government quarters where all the top most officers from various department were living .my friend's son getting married next week and they have sent the invitation .i was surprised to see the invitation and was thinking how she got my Native town address and contacted her to the mobile number given in the card.Her dh replied that he was having my elder son's marriage invitation and found the address.my son's marriage was held in 2001 and they were keeping the invitation card for the past 16 yrs.Till 2008 i had contacts with them and visited them often and after coming to my native place i had no contacts.They are in chennai and i am going to chennai to attend the marriage.i have many friends like this and i always respect friendship .
     
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  9. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks Amma for your feedback and for sharing about your neighbourhood friend too. Nice to know that your friend took the effort to reestablish the contact in the event of her son's marriage.
    Of course, neighbours become the greatest friends atleast till the prev generation (now, many city-dwellers like me dont even know who the neighbour is) and thanks to my father's State Govt. job we have a handful of such family friends, but this group stands out as we are no longer family friends but family itself.
     
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  10. maggi32

    maggi32 IL Hall of Fame

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    Laggin behind with lotta things.......puttin my pink towel for late FB.

    Rajeni loved every bit of ur narration....will get back with couple of memories lateru.
     
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