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A Disturbing Incident. And The Bigger Picture

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ns, Aug 24, 2013.

  1. ns

    ns Silver IL'ite

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    Sometime in July last year, I was taking a morning walk on my usual path. It was a residential area and pretty devoid of motor traffic. Later I would know that it was not a good area for lone girls to roam around in. Anyway, an Alto comes from behind and a man interrupts me and asks for directions to a hospital. Like an idiot, I even stopped to listen to him. an innocent question turned into lewd gestures and sentences and it was too late when I realized he was just a pervert.

    I plugged by earphones back in and walked away while the guy shouted one last vulgar remark and drove away(thankfully).

    I felt shaken and disturbed. What just happened? Did that really happen?

    I thought about it for some timebut decided not to share it with anyone.

    It just felt weird talking about it with others, especially male friends. I knew they would ask me questions. They would want to know what exactly the pervert said and what gestures he made. And I was too ashamed to tell them.

    But ashamed of what? I had not done anything wrong? Then why did I have to feel ashamed?

    That’s how molested, physically abused or raped girls probably feel. In much much higher degree. If I would feel embarrassed by some sentences uttered to me from a distance, how would a rape victim feel if a strange man attacked and used her?

    Even with that little incident, I was filled with hatred, feeling of revenge and vengeance. I wanted to kill that guy or beat him or humiliate him or whatever.

    I knew that wasn’t possible. Thousands of men throw lecherous remarks at harmless girls everyday and the girls areunable to do anything except steel themselves and move on. We women take care of it ourselves; no one comes to our rescue.

    Why is the society made so unjustly? Why do men just get away with it?

    Socialists have tried to bring change. They have pounded concepts of equality and feminism into our rigid traditional society. Open gang rapes happen every other day in our country followed by rebelmovements on FB, news channels and other media. Still, rapes happen. More rapes happen.

    Is all the shouting perceived as yet another feminist rant and then mocked at?

    What do you think?
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2013
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  2. BharadwajThiru

    BharadwajThiru Silver IL'ite

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    It is really unfortunate that you had to undergo this experience. It is so wrong! I wish I had answers for your questions ("Why is the society made so unjustly? Why do men just get away with it?"), but don't and hence will treat it as rhetoric.
    The kind of people who do these are really insecure within and perhaps feel stronger when they think they have gained an upper hand. The world is made up of all kinds of people and I only hope that for every one like this there are a lot more who compensate for this kind of behavior.
     
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  3. ns

    ns Silver IL'ite

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    Sigh. So true.
     
  4. rsk11584

    rsk11584 Silver IL'ite

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    yeah really sad incident, one such incident happened with me also, when we friends were living in kalyani nagar - koregaon park area Pune city in 2009. One day while walking on the road (am a guy) an old man just stopped his scooty in front of me and tried to drop me to where i was going, i just ignored him and went away. But with my friend on another day, since my friend was little bholu, he told that man no uncle, and then the old man tried to be hanky panky on road, seems a gay crack he was. My friend narrated this to our room mates. Once we decided we would hunt this old man and hack him and close the case, but then we did not take it seriously and forgot about it.
     
  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    ns, what you faced could have been a pervert, it could have been a racist .... I know it is very disturbing when it happens. Often our questions have no answers. All we can do is to protect ourselves as best as we can and avoid places we know are unsafe. As for the rest, trust in God.
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear NS,

    Consider that forgettable event and don't let such unpleasant experiences to drive your mind. Think about how you protected yourself and walked away from the scene with self confidence. The person who made such a comment not only has no respect for fellow beings but also has no respect for his own character. Assume that he had to face consequences of his actions.

    When I heard about the photojournalist in Mumbai, I was in tears and 22 year old innocent girl pursuing a career in journalism does not deserve such treatment by the fellow beings. But I was very pleased to see her announcing that this incident was not going to deter her and she wanted to get back to work. She had two choices, a) to brood over the incident for the rest of her life or b) get on with her life and make the rest of her life a pleasant experience. I am glad she chose the second. When she has announced her intentions, it is the duty of the cops to find those culprits and get them out of the street. It is time that Governments take such incidences seriously and bring some amendments that would make such crimes punishable severely. If this kind of disorderly behavior continues in cities, it might be time to think of licensing the women to have weapons to protect their modesty.

    Viswa
     
  7. vathsala30

    vathsala30 Platinum IL'ite

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    yes it is really bad to face such perverts. But the public if catch hold of such persons and thrash them black and blue, such things can be curbed . But no one bothers now a days and that is the reason female abuses are on increase
     
  8. ns

    ns Silver IL'ite

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    RSK,

    Sheesh. Perverts and crazy people roaming freely on streets is so dangerous! I am sometimes curious and want to understand psychy of such people. I wonder what happened that made them like this.. And why they behave this way...
     
  9. zainabsarfraz

    zainabsarfraz Platinum IL'ite

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    sometimes we cant help it but just avoid it. I have had tons of such experiences but have hardly shared with anybody thinking of the shame i will feel while narating it even though it wasnt my mistake ever.
     
  10. ns

    ns Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Satchitananda,

    Well, this incident happened when I was back in India. So no racism here. That guy was pure dirty minded. You are right. These questions have no answers. Its best to be safe ourselves..
     

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